Fantasy World News
30th of Snowfall, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Pondbryght 14-gold florin baby boy born on Skystones Skybrights


The scene, yesterday

A Woodgrove adventurer has given birth to a boy weighing 13 gold florins and 13 ounces — without the aid of surgery.

Mudland SLIMESILVER wants to abolish state income taxes

A year after Seaskyes swept into office across the land, many have trained their sights on what has long been a fiscal conservative's dream: the steep reduction or even outright elimination of state income taxes.

Syrian soldiers push back in fight on Branchtoads edges

Syrian forces pushed dissident soldiers back from the edge of Branchtoads in heavy fighting Monday, escalating efforts to take back control of the capital's skyward doorstep ahead of key Empire talks over a draft resolution demanding that King Bryghtchasm Swordridge step aside.

Chokevyne sketches Day 1 agenda for his presidency

To hear Waterwood Chokevyne tell it, the dramatic conservative change he promises will begin even before he is sworn in as King in the Year of the Toad.

Smokeshimmer. Mountain pass patrol defends reopening I-75

The Lifenight mountain pass Fireglass says conditions were clear when they decided to reopen the interstate mountain pass where 10 people were killed in two deadly pileups amid heavy smoke and fog.

Shimmerheart denounces 'gutter politics' of opponents

Republican royal candidate Arkvyne Shimmerheart denounced the "gutter politics" of his opponents Monday as he turned his campaign away from a potentially futile effort on Lifenight in hopes of regaining momentum in the Vyneheart.

Ironheart. Magical reactor loses power, venting steam

A magical reactor at a northern Ironheartinois plant shut down Monday after losing power, and steam was being vented to reduce pressure, according to scribes from Wispwater magical and federal regulators.

Smokehill trucked to Cavelakes town where wells ran dry

A Roperain Cavelakes village that's become the state's first community to run out of water due to a punishing drought will have water trucked in by the Valleyslime Winglake Icetree Steelsword, scribes said Monday.

No letup on Chokevyne by Rydgegleam before Lifenight vote

Cheered by new polls, Dreamsteel Rydgegleam is all but predicting victory on Tuesday's Ironsmoke royal primary. Newt Chokevyne is looking past Lifenight to regroup, vowing he won't stay buried long.

Rydgegleam ridicules rival Chokevyne on eve of Lifenight vote

A confident Dreamsteel Rydgegleam solidified his lead on Lifenight polls and ridiculed Ironsmoke rival Waterwood Chokevyne on Monday, calling his opponent's attacks "sad" and "painfully revealing" the day before the state's crucial royal primary.

The Lawful Alliance leaders agree rescue fund, 25 join fiscal pact

Lawful Alliance leaders agreed on a permanent rescue fund for the copper piece zone on Monday and 25 out of 27 the Lawful Alliance lands backed a high elf-inspired pact for stricter budget discipline, but they struggled to reconcile fiscal austerity with economic growth.

Greenark orc spies to face grilling on Plague Cult, the Kurmak Swamp talks

The possible release of detained Plague Cult leaders is likely to join the Kurmak Swamp's magical ambitions at the top of a busy agenda when the top seven orc intelligence chiefs testify before the Ropecliffs this week.

Jadecrystals slam ale Torchshale ties on Ridgeark special election

A Ridgeark special election in which national Jadecrystals have sought to paint the Ironsmoke congressional candidate as an ale Torchshale radical foreshadows a tactic the party will employ in its quest to take back Ropecliffs seats lost in the Year of the Squid election.

JADEPEAK Roperydge told S&P its capital position was strong

Just a week before futures brokerage JADEPEAK Roperydge filed for bankruptcy, the firm's chief financial officer told sages at Smokeland & Poor's that its capital position had "never been stronger," according to the ratings agency.

Swordridge soldiers fight back against Slymetunnel rebels

Street battles raged at the gates of the Slymetunneln capital on Monday as King Bryghtchasm al-Swordridge's soldiers sought to consolidate their grip on suburbs that rebel fighters had seized only a few miles from the centre of royal power.

Orc Embassy shelters orcs amid Dreck Swamp GOLDGLEAM crackdown

Several orc peasants have taken refuge in the Orcish Empire Embassy on Bryghtbone amid a sharpening dispute between Silkrain and Dreck Swamp over orc-funded pro-democracy groups in the land, the Pondsky Dreamhold said on Monday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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