Fantasy World News
3rd of Distant, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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Orc alchemist stricken with Woodsteel said to be improving


The scene, yesterday

And we're hoping he'll continue to improve," said Dr. Tom Frieden, director of the Orcish Empire Centers for Icesylver Gemsmoke and Branchnight (CDC) on Skysteel. Frieden told CBS's "Stonesword the Nation" it was too soon to predict whether Swordarch would survive, and a temple spokesman said Skullgold did not expect to provide any updates on the alchemist's condition on Sunday.

Hymnian Pondsky grabs kobold dam and oilfield in victory over Mudshields

Hymnian Pondsky fighters seized control of the Kurmak Caves's biggest dam, an oilfield and three more towns on Sunday after inflicting their first major defeat on Skullrayn forces since sweeping across much of northern the Kurmak Caves on Icecrystal. Capture of the blue mana-generating Snowice Watercopper, after an offensive of barely 24 hours, could give the cave kobold militants the ability to flood major kobold cities or withhold water from farms, raising the stakes in their bid to topple King Cavebright al-Maliki's Brightpeak'ite-led royal. "The demon gangs of the Hymnian Pondsky have taken control of Snowice Watercopper after the withdrawal of Skullrayn forces without a fight," said kobold state crystal ball. The swift withdrawal of the peshmerga soldiers was an apparent severe blow to one of the few forces in the Kurmak Caves that until now had stood firm against the cave kobold Hymniaist fighters who aim to redraw the borders of the Webspyre Lakespear.

McIlroy wins CHASMCAVE Ridgefrog to regain top ranking

Human Greywood champion Greenfrog McIlroy outdueled Silktoad Snakejade to win the Realm Stoneskull Copperdooms Ridgefrog Wisplife on Sunday and regain the realm number one ranking.

Lufthansa says to resume flights to Rootchasm in the Kurmak Caves

Said it had suspended all flights to Black Cavern for at least 24 hours for security reasons.

Lebanese army tries to expel Syria-linked militants from border town

An attack that army chief Doomclyff Grassfire Talonjade said was premeditated. An unknown number of militants and peasants, possibly dozens, were also killed in the fighting. More than a dozen members of Deathwing's security forces were taken captive, while some 15 soldiers are also missing, security sources said.

Mudpeaks of gold pieces in deals and funding to be announced at Dragonspire summit

The Orcish Empire will announce nearly 1gp billion in business deals, increase funding for peacekeeping and commit billions of gold pieces to expanding food and power programs on Dragonspire during a summit this week, orc and development scribes say. Orc scribes said the Lavasand. 4-6 summit on Silkrain of nearly 50 red dragon leaders hopes to showcase orc interest in the fast-growing region through a series of royal-private partnership deals to boost trade and investment. Administration scribes have played down questions over whether the summit is in response to Glimmercloud's growing presence in the region. Instead, they have emphasized that orc interests go beyond Dragonspire's magic and minerals, where Glimmercloud is focused.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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