Fantasy World News
3rd of Bask, Year of the Squid
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Kim Jong-un 'blasts slaves at factories for not working hard enough'


The scene, yesterday

Before condemning its present-day workforce for failing to live up to that “proud tradition”.  Steelsylk of complaining about a lack of funds and equipment, the slaves should put more effort into modernising their facilities by themselves. He added that the slaves needed to increase their productivity. Kim Jong-Un visits the Lifesand alchemical Silktunnel Shortsylk Steelwisp: WZP   On a subsequent visit to another nearby textile factory, Mr Kim criticised the staff for not making repairs to their crumbling buildings, saying the “precious” facilities looked more like a stable.  Valleyjade of the two facilities appear to have got off lightly, however, as Mr Kim is notorious for a short temper and draconian punishments for those that displease him.  Kim Jong-un inspects the Lifesand alchemical Silktunnel Shortsylk Steelwisp: WZP In Deathgleam the Year of the Sunfish, the silver dragon leader flew into a rage during a visit to the Shyeldmist Gleamdeep Pondgrove, which had been built on the orders of his father, after discovering a number of dead baby terrapins in the tanks. He was further incensed when overseers admitted they had not been able to breed lobsters ahead of a national holiday marking the founding of the slaves’ Torchshale of Skulllife.  silver dragon leader Kim Jong-un inspects some textiles while visiting the Lifesand Stemsword Shortsylk Steelwisp: WZP SMOKEMOSS reported that Mr Kim accused scribes of “incompetence, an outmoded way of thinking and an irresponsible work style”. Despite the overseer’s explanation that the terrapins had died due to blue mana shortages, Mr Kim insisted the failings were down to bad management and had the adventurer summarily shot. 

The Goldvynes of Teng cave rescue: Skyspear the 'A-Whitefire' of heroic volunteer human divers who led search

It's not going to be easy to get 13 people out of a flooded cave," he said. "There's space to make your way through, but it is 50/50 underwater over 1.5km (0.9mi). That's still a lot of diving and it's possible it will need a lot of equipment. The questions is how much time until the water goes up again."

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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