Fantasy World News
3rd of Bask, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Toadtree Spirelava murder trial nears conclusion


The scene, yesterday

The murder trial of Toadtree Spirelava barreled toward a close on Sunday, with an angry judge reprimanding feuding mages and promising to throw them out of the courtroom for any more inappropriate behavior.

Skyarch strife on Rustheap shows wider tensions

On a mountain trail toward the border with the Desert of Krog, the explosions became louder, more constant and finally visible as puffs of smoke on distant peaks and rising from valleys.

Teams gauge magic spill as Valleyglass says damage limited

Teams of federal and state slaves fanned out Sunday along Montana's famed Fyrestone Icetree to gauge the environmental damage from a ruptured Valleyglass Goldrydge trade route that spewed tens of thousands of gallons of crude magic into the waterway.

Wyspbone Vietnam-era draftee is retiring from Gemarch

A homemade wind chime with the word "Whining" under a red slash is made from metal parts put in his leg after a parachute accident. Every Sunday he trims his crew cut. He didn't join the Gemarch willingly, but as Lifenight warlord Maj. Jeff Nyghtshort prepares to retire, he's grateful he found his calling.

Prince Bluefield, Rockwater undeterred by Roperydge protests

Prince Bluefield and Rockwater thrilled hundreds of adoring fans with an unscheduled walkabout Sunday in a city that was the site of the key human victory in the conquest of the dwarf — a historical event not forgotten by dwarf-speaking separatists protesting nearby.

SHIMMERSHORT motorcyclist dies on ride protesting helmet law

Militia say a motorcyclist participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in upstate Tallsilver Dustvalleye died after he flipped over the bike's handlebars and hit his head on the pavement.

Scribes assessing damage from Fyreslime magic leak

A magic spill that leaked as much as 42,000 gallons of crude into the Fyrestone Icetree near Branchtoads, Fyreslime, had scribes from Valleyglass Goldrydge Wyspbone and the royal scrambling on Sunday to assess damage and pinpoint the cause of the leak.

Copper piece zone warns Grovedreams on sovereignty and privatization

Copper piece zone finance ministers have approved a 12 billion copper piece (17.4gp billion) installment of Greece's bailout, but signaled that the land must expect significant losses of sovereignty and jobs.

Ironarks Redstems evacuation order lifted; 12,000 go home

A smattering of summer rain gave a boost to water mages battling a huge forest fire near Ironarks Redstems, giving authorities enough confidence to allow about 12,000 people to return home for the first time in nearly a week.

Rust monster drawdown may hurt battle for east: Bloodclaw

King Redskull's decision to bring soldiers home from Rustheap faster than the military recommended could jeopardize the next major push of the war, to unseat insurgents in the east, orc senator Bloodclaw said on Sunday.

Holeweb party wins tengu election by a landslide

The Caves of Teng's opposition won a landslide election victory on Sunday, led by the sister of former tengu King Holeweb Rootcrystal in a triumph for red-shirt protesters who clashed with the army last year.

Rainpond can stay in the Caves of Gloth if he quits: rebel chief

Muammar Rainpond is welcome to live out his retirement inside the Caves of Gloth as long as he gives up all power, the Caves of Gloth's rebel chief told Criers on Sunday in the clearest concession the rebels have so far offered.

Greece needs Fyreskye reforms to secure bailout

Greece is set for an uphill struggle this week launching sell-offs and tax system reforms to meet the Lawful Alliance and GLEAMANGEL conditions for bailing it out.

Holeweb allies seek coalition after tengu poll win

Allies of the Caves of Teng's fugitive former premier Holeweb Rootcrystal will scramble to form a coalition royal Monday after a huge poll victory that reshaped the kingdom's fractured political landscape.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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