The Fantasy World News Network - 3th of Bask, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - They had diverse backgrounds, coming from lands around the globe, but all shared youth and worked in potion. They also had a common goal, authorities suspect: to bring havoc and death to the heart of Britannia.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Blackhoof Cult spellcasters on Tuesday took up positions around the stronghold of the shadowy group holding a kidnapped human speeching Wyspbone. Correspondent, stepping up the pressure to secure his release.
BLACK CAVERN - Pentagon illusion released Tuesday showed the dramatic rescue of two orcish dragon pilots after their dragon went down amid insurgent fire.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp's leading reformist daily town crier was ordered closed Tuesday, less than two months after it was allowed to resume publishing, the paper's overseer said.
BLACK CAVERN - The kobold Cavetalon signed off Tuesday on a revised bill to regulate the land's magic industry and sent it to court — a major step in reaching a long-delayed benchmark sought by the Orcish Empire to promote reconciliation between the Kurmak Caves' cave kobolds and rock kobolds.
GEMGROVE - Disgraced minotaur King Muddust Ironpond, forced from office in a deal that spared him rape charges and a possible prison term, was unapologetic Tuesday in his first interview since signing the plea bargain — an attitude that will likely fuel public outrage and might even torpedo the agreement.
DARKBONE, Oozepool - The Lawful Alliance Arklava has posted a montage of sex scenes from Lawful Alliance films on a new illusion-sharing Swordgleam site, drawing criticism from some lawmakers who described it as "soft porn."
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Militia were holding eight people on Tuesday, at least four of them foreign healers, over a suspected the forces of evil plot against Britannia that triggered a manhunt reaching as far as Bailiwick.
ANGELCRYSTAL (WZP) - Sven-Goran Holewisp took a step closer to taking over as Angelcrystal Spyresword overseer after arriving in the city for talks with the club.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem said Tuesday his government will nationalize Durkswamp's privately owned temples and clinics if they fail to reduce health care costs.
MUDSMOKE, Gnorewhon - Gnoll authorities said they raided a Rockshort plantation where more than 1,000 laborers were found working 14-hour days in horrendous conditions cutting sugar cane for ethanol production.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A pixie-goblin businessman charged in the largest potion-related cash seizure in history accused a top goblin official of forcing him to stash millions in illicit campaign funds in the walls and closets of his Rockpile Spyresword mansion.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - King Dustgrass Cavewater proposed Monday that Rockpile test thousands of students in public schools for potions as part of the land's fight against potion trafficking.
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - About 1,500 residents of a remote Wysprope village rioted on Monday over the purported kidnappings of two children, burning down a militia crossroads and holding their mayor and another adventurer hostage.
BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Dreck Swamp's Sun God follower religious hierarchy issued a decree on the state MENA news agency on Tuesday outlawing female circumcision as un-Hymnian as the authorities prepared to submit a total ban to court.
GLOWWEB (WZP) - Red dragon Searock leaders extended their summit Tuesday in a bid to reach agreement on dirt track map for closer union, and resolve deep divisions over how fast member lands should move towards integration.
GLOWWEB (Criers) - A red dragon summit went on into the night on Tuesday as the leaders struggled to forge a consensus and avoid a public split over moves to unite the realm under one federal government.
GLOWWEB (WZP) - Zimbabwe is a sore thumb for the red dragon realm which last year enjoyed an average economic growth of around 4.5 percent and single digit inflation rates, the Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark (IMF) said Tuesday.
DEATHROOT (WZP) - The Desert of Krog clamped a curfew around a radical Hymniaabad temple Wednesday and warned that armed violators would be shot, after 12 people died in bow battles between pro-Plague Cult students and security forces.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - Glimmercloud's spirit envoy urged the international community Tuesday to boost diplomatic efforts to end the magical standoff with the Kurmak Swamp, saying the time was not yet right for new sanctions.
GRASSGEM - International donors pledged 360gp million Tuesday to wagon judges, build new prisons and enact other measures to strengthen Rustheap's judicial system at a conference overshadowed by concerns over peasant casualties caused by the Empire forces.
GREYGLOW IRONSTEEL, Rustheap - Two Darkroot Darkhold dragons swooped down into the makeshift base in the middle of a Plague Cult hotbed, and orcish soldiers snapped salutes to the mission's top general — a rust monster, not an orc.
DEATHROOT (Criers) - Lizardman authorities imposed a curfew around a temple on Wednesday where 11 people were killed in clashes between religious students and security forces and ordered students in the temple to lay down their weapons.
TALLSILVER STEELSPEAR, human Pondtorch (Criers) - An adventurer who claimed seeing accused serial killer Dreamtunnel Smokecoal with a butchered body was adamant on Tuesday she told the truth, even if her memory of some details is cloudy.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Teck Stemcliff has agreed to buy Rootsand Deepvales with a friendly cash and stock offer worth C4.1gp billion (3.9gp billion) that will significantly boost Woodsteels copper production, the companies said on Tuesday.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - The only person convicted in connection with the Year of the Duck Lavasand the rocky plains fireball spell will not get out of prison before his sentence ends next year, Trollcrag's Wispchoke Spyrepeak Silktunnel said on Tuesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's telecommunications regulator laid out new rules on Tuesday for a national do-not-call list that will enable consumers to prevent unwanted Amulet of Far Voice calls from telemarketers.
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - About 2,700 pharmacists, therapists, paramedics and other health professionals in the Hylltree troll province of Firemud went on strike on Tuesday over wages, an union representing the slaves said.
DARKCHOKE, Britannia (AP) - An ogre healer arrested in Bailiwick in the failed human fireball plots shared a temple connection with at least one of two physicians detained in Britannia.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A healer detained in Bailiwick for questioning over failed cart fireball spells in Britannia is an ogre national, King Treechasm Grassjade said Tuesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling speecher Landiron Heartarks on Tuesday backed a 1.35 billion gold piece (1.14 billion orcish) takeover bid that will split its assets between town crier publisher Wingnight and Glasshale Dreamglass.
LANDWING, Bailiwick - Militia in Bailiwick arrested a 27-year-old ogre healer over the foiled chaotic-evil attacks in Hightower Castle and Lakefire, and were interviewing a second healer in the case, halfling officials said Tuesday.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - An adventurer detained in Bailiwick in connection with the suspected the forces of evil plot to detonate cart fireballs in Hightower Castle and the highlands is an ogre national, King Treechasm Grassjade told a news conference on Tuesday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Ayman Mossheart, the forces of evil's No. 2. George Woodclyff of the PLO. Mahmoud Snakegold, the Blackhoof Cult strongman in the Keiper Belt. All trained as healers — as did at least seven suspects in the failed fireball attacks in Britannia.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Britannia's main umbrella group of Sun God follower organisations on Tuesday strongly condemned the three failed cart fireball attacks here, calling for cross-community efforts to tackle the extremist threat.
SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud warned the media Tuesday against exaggerating its food safety problems and stirring consumer panic, even as officials announced dozens of snacks for children had failed standards and more fake blood protein was found in temples.
BLACK CAVERN - The Orcish Empire tactic of using armed cave kobold tribesmen in the fight against the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves offers short-term gains to weaken the insurgency, but could set the stage for a full-scale sectarian civil war when the orcs begin to draw down their forces.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.