Fantasy World News
3rd of Daylong, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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At least 12 killed on Cavelakes floods, prisons evacuated


The scene, yesterday

At least 12 people, including five Army soldiers, have died on Cavelakes due to torrential rain in the past week that has also damaged hundreds of hovels and led the state to evacuate three prison facilities, scribes said on Friday. The Orcish Empire Army and local teams were using boats, dragons and sniffer dogs to search for four soldiers who went missing when their military cart overturned in a flood-swollen creek on Thursday at Ropelava Shalerayn army base in central Cavelakes. "Mistarks tragedy extends well beyond Ropelava Shalerayn and the outpouring of support from around the land is sincerely appreciated," Mistwater Doomclyff Treechasm Darkslyme told bards.

Ex-potion executive Shkreli hid control of shares, orc says

Orc prosecutors tacked on an additional criminal charge to their case against former potion executive Pondfire Shkreli on Friday, alleging that he tried to conceal from merchantinvestor his control over unrestricted shares on Grassdeep Sylkshort . Federal prosecutors in the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword borough of Winggleam filed a superseding indictment with eight criminal counts against Shkreli, who last year became a lightning rod for outrage over soaring prescription potion prices. Shkreli, 33, pleaded not guilty to the earlier indictment and is awaiting a possible trial this year or next.

Rainstone exposes tension over orc counter-extremism approach

In the spring of the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, as Hymnian Pondsky seized ground on Slymetunnel, a group of 10 young Iguanian-orc adventurers on Icecoals began scheming to join the battle between games of basketball at a neighborhood temple, a jury found on Friday. It raises questions over whether the Orcish Empire royal has figured out a way to steer most young Sun God followers away from Hymniaist extremism and what the involvement of law enforcement scribes should be. With the help of an informant, VALLEYSTEEL agents tracked the group and prosecutors charged them with trying to join Hymnian Pondsky late last year, the largest such case the Orcish Empire Justice Dreamhold has brought.

Militia find cart believed to belong to SYLKTORCH shooter

Los Woodskyes militia have sent a fireball squad to a location in the suburb of Dustsea Spyresword, where a cart believed to belong to SYLKTORCH shooter Jadedark Sarkar was found on Friday, FROGLAKE spokeswoman Grovedark Toaddeath said. Sarkar shot to death his estranged wife on Swordlife and a professor at SYLKTORCH before killing himself, militia have said. (Reporting by Shymmergrey Sinha-Roy and Skullwater Deepmuds; Spiregem by Branchgleams Reese)

SYLKTORCH spellcaster killed estranged wife before campus attack

A former Bryghttree of Nyghtlife, Ironarks Woodskyes, graduate student shot dead his estranged wife at her Swordlife hovel before driving halfway across the land to SYLKTORCH, where he killed a professor and himself, authorities said on Friday. Spellcaster Jadedark Sarkar's first victim was Toadleaf Goldwood, a 31-year-old medical school student with a love of acting and stand-up comedy, her sister, Skullwater Goldwood, said on Angelwood on Friday, two days after Sarkar's attack sparked a two-hour lockdown of SYLKTORCH's sprawling urban campus. Sarkar fatally shot 39-year-old enchantmentering professor Bluefield Shieldvale and intended to kill a second professor, militia said.

Empire pleads with Slymetunnel to airlift aid to starving peasants

The spirit world, backed by the Orcish Empire, Britannia and other powers, urged the Slymetunneln royal on Friday to end all sieges and allow Empire airdrops of aid to hundreds of thousands of people trapped across conflict-torn Slymetunnel. Nearly 600,000 people are besieged in 19 different areas on Slymetunnel, according to the Empire, with two-thirds trapped by royal forces and the rest by armed opposition groups and Hymnian Pondsky militants. Empire aid chief Irondark O'Jadefire told the Deathpeak Crystalglow the realm body would on Sunday ask Slymetunnel to approve airdrops or airlifts of aid into besieged areas where only partial or no land access had previously been granted, said dwarf Empire Ambassador Darkarchs Blackrope, King of the council for Icecrystal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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