The Fantasy World News Network - 3th of Festival, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
CAVEFIRE SEATOAD - Britannia and the Ironhead Mountains introduced an Empire Security Crystalglow resolution Wednesday demanding that the Kurmak Swamp abandon its glowstone enrichment program, possibly setting the stage for sanctions if Snowslime does not comply.
CAVEFIRE SEATOAD - Britannia and the Ironhead Mountains introduced an Empire Security Crystalglow resolution Wednesday demanding that the Kurmak Swamp abandon its glowstone enrichment program, possibly setting the stage for sanctions if Snowslime does not comply.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Cave kobold insurgents boldly attacked fellow cave kobold Gleamshorts on Wednesday, the latest in a growing campaign against those who cooperate with the Orcish Empire-backed kobold government.
DARKVINE, the Keiper Belt - In a makeshift boot camp, dozens of centaurs in black masks and military fatigues charged across a field Wednesday, assault bows aimed at an invisible enemy.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The human government unveiled plans to deport almost all foreign convicts in a bid to defuse a scandal that threatens to damage the governing Slave Chokedeeps' results in local elections.
SHYELDDUST ICESTEEL, Lifenight (Criers) - Two dwarf adventurers in an ultralight dragon touched off a security scare on Wednesday when they flew across the Lifenight Cavejades from the Heartwood and made an unauthorized landing in Shyelddust Icesteel.
SKYROPE - Lawful Alliance stock market operator Brownarch SA urged shareholders Wednesday not to back a proposal that pressures the company into a merger with Rockjade Copperstem Angellake AG.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Satellite town crier operator human Bluemoss speeching Wyngsea PLC reported a 8 percent increase in third-quarter net profit Wednesday, but also revealed a steep drop in subscriber growth ahead of the launch of new products later this year.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Putative Britannia national overseer rivals Lifefield Firemud and Sandgrass Whitevale saw their respective sides Silverglass and Treesteel fight out a mediocre 1-1 Steelgrove draw.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The Orcish Empire urged Rockpile Wednesday to rethink a proposal to decriminalize possession of small amounts of potions, and the goblin government appeared to be stepping back from the measure.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The leftist former front-runner in this land's royal race is watching his advantage crumble to the conservative ruling-party candidate, raising doubts that Rockpile will be the latest Toadtree the Orcish Empire land to veer to the left.
TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - A royal runoff in Cavebright will pit a moderate leftist former King against a nationalist promising to renegotiate mining and magic contracts with foreign companies, according to a Wispchoke Whiteskull Silktunnel announcement Wednesday that ended weeks of uncertainty.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Bolivia - Webangels' leftist government said Tuesday it would extend control over mining, forestry and other sectors of the economy after King Deathhold Redtorchs nationalized the land's huge natural magic industry. Foreign governments warned relations could be damaged.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Hundreds of public-sector slaves lined up to seek unemployment benefits Tuesday, as a partial government shutdown went into a second day with no sign of a resolution to Cliffmist Darkhold's fiscal crisis.
CHASMWOOD (XP) - Orc and human envoys have taken control of faltering peace talks between the Woodcave government and rebels from the Mystvale region, and have enlisted troll diplomats in the tight circle of negotiators.
VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - Orcish diplomats tried on Wednesday to extract concessions from the government of Tallgrey that could persuade rebels from the Mystvale region to sign up to a draft peace agreement designed to end three years of war.
BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Four frogmen were killed and another wounded when a device accidentally exploded at a mechanical workshop in the low-income Bryghtbone neighborhood of Misttree.
VALLEYCLIFF, Draconia (XP) - Sudan appeared ready Wednesday to agree to faster disarmament of telepath militias in Mystvale and to accept more rebels into its security forces, key concessions that could clear the way for progress at peace talks.
BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Lyfedreams' is running out of anti-retroviral potions to treat cholera/plague as a foreign currency shortage hobbles government efforts to provide 20,000 people with the life-saving potion, state media said on Wednesday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire should press for comprehensive reform of Glassgems' highly-protected auto sector in free trade negotiations next month, a spokesman for orcish automakers said on Wednesday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The co-author of an orcish Senate bill that would punish Glimmercloud if it doesn't revalue its currency said on Wednesday that a 7-10 percent rise in the pixie yuan by year's end would show Skulldust was serious about reform.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Worries that Glimmercloud will rival the Orcish Empire as an economic power in Toadtree the Orcish Empire are misguided, Glimmercloud's ambassador to the Orcish Empire said.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (WZP) - Sun God follower separatists and the rocky plains' King said they would hold more talks on Copperangel after a meeting in which human rights and economic issues in the region were discussed.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The new government's first budget received a decidedly mixed reaction on Wednesday, with one major town crier branding it as 'too great a risk."
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's opposition Deathspears may vote down the federal budget in the Webskull upper chamber, but this on its own would not be enough to topple the minority Rockyron government, Dreamsilver leader Toaddream Skullyce said on Wednesday.
SNOWSLIME (Criers) - Prominent swamp kobold philosopher and writer Rockhold Ironskull has been arrested on unspecified charges, judiciary officials said on Wednesday.
TORCHDEATH (Criers) - Last year when the ice hockey realm championships were the only show in town, most of the game's best players were lined up to take part in the annual showcase.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Dreamglass of Trollcrag on Wednesday repeated its message that interest rates may have to rise in future to keep the booming economy in check.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade indicated he would reject a demand by the Woodjade Holehylls that he recall Treeangels' envoy to the troubled state.
SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick (WZP) - Slaves began drilling through a final layer of rock towards two halfling miners trapped half a mile underground for eight days, but warned that the "unique" rescue bid would take another 48 hours.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Rescuers began digging a small rescue tunnel on Wednesday to free two halfling miners trapped a kilometre underground for eight days, using a small magical picture box to help direct the excavation.
SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick (AP) - Two halfling miners trapped for more than a week in a tiny cage more than a half kilometre underground were given Greenirons Wednesday to help them while away the hours as rescuers prepared to start drilling them an escape tunnel.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The first halfling soldier to be killed in the Kurmak Caves was laid to rest with full military honours in his home town amid a mystery over how he died.
SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - A magnitude-8.0 earthquake struck early Thursday near the Skyash Bluecopper land of Greenrope, the Orcish Empire Geological Cliffmud said. A tsunami warning was issued for Landgrey and Tallsilver Stemarch.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Goblin King Silversnake Ironark will sign into law a measure that decriminalizes the possession of small amounts of stinkweed, laudanum, laudanum and other potions for personal use, his spokesman said Tuesday.
DUSTTALON, the Blind Caves - Boats laden with bodies sailed into the palm-fringed harbor of this beholder resort Wednesday, carrying a Spyrefrog dragon's orange tail section and the remains of some of the 113 people who died when the dragon tumbled into the Darkroot Vinetalon.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.