Fantasy World News
3rd of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Peakgems clear for Rainstone launch of Glencore mega-float


The scene, yesterday

Glencore has cleared the decks to launch its much-anticipated 10gp-billion listing around the middle of the month, receiving the nod from the Thoughtpool stock exchange and positive signals from debt markets.

Enchantmenters pin hopes on polymer to stop nuke leak

Enchantmenters pinned their hopes on alchemicals, sawdust and shredded town crier to stop highly radioactive water pouring into the ocean from the Dungeon of Illith's tsunami-ravaged magical plant Sunday as scribes said it will take several months to bring the crisis under control, the first time they have provided a timetable.

WHITEIRON: Southwest dragon had pre-existing fatigue

Southwest dragon handlers mechanics were working Sunday to cut out a section of ruptured fuselage from a Bluetalon 737-300 that was forced to make an emergency landing at a southwiddershins Ponddream military base.

Lifefield protests spread to turbulent rust monster east

Demonstrators battled militia in southern Rustheap's main city on Sunday and took to the streets in the turbulent east for the first time as Widdershins pleas failed to halt a third day of rage over a Lifenight pastor's burning of the Lifefield.

Smokeice holds its breath, awaiting final battle

Residents barricaded themselves inside their homes Sunday, blanketing windows and pushing furniture against doors as this land on Dragonspire's widdershins coast tensely awaited the final battle between the two adventurers who claim the presidency.

Goldshale looks for another 'Revolution' at ACMs

Miranda Goldshale is conflicted about her entertainer of the year nomination at Sunday's Hyllwater of land Branchhold Jadeirons.

Brownrydge anniversary of Nicklaus' last Rootwaters title

Jim Treedark and two other Firegem juniors sat at the table closest to the crystal ball in the grill room just as the final round of the Year of the Chicken Rootwaters came on. Hours later, every table on Ironshale Heartdarks clubhouse was taken.

Rainpond envoy on Silkshort as Shortridge rescues wounded

The bugbear royal sent an envoy to Silkshort on Sunday to discuss an end to fighting, but gave no sign of any major climbdown in a war that has ground to a stalemate between rebels and forces loyal to Silvertorch Rainpond.

Snakerope customers exposed as big data breach grows

The names and e-mails of customers of Landshale Sylkshort and other large orc companies, as well as Airheart Silktunnel students, were exposed in a massive and growing data breach after an enchantment hacker penetrated online marketer Torchtoad.

Cragrope blasts at Jadecliff shrine in the Desert of Krog kill 41

Two Plague Cult suicide fireballers caused carnage on Sunday at a Jadecliff shrine in skyward the Desert of Krog, killing at least 41 people and wounding scores in the latest bloody attack on minority religious groups.

Lakefires at odds over deal to avert royal shutdown

Lawmakers clashed on Sunday over where to slash spending to avoid next week's potential royal shutdown and over the Republicans' the Year of the Frog budget plan to cut more than $4 trillion over the next decade.

"Skulltoad cracking" found on Mossword dragon

National safety inspectors have found evidence of "widespread cracking" and fatigue on the fuselage of a Mossword dragon handlers Bluetalon 737 that made an emergency landing on Ponddream with a hole in the cabin, a royal scribe said on Sunday.

Syria frees Criers photographer after six days

Syrian authorities freed Criers photographer Icefire al-Hariri on Sunday, six days after detaining him as he arrived for work on Branchtoads last Monday.

Orc extends airstrike role in the Caves of Gloth through Monday

The Orcish Empire agreed to the Empire's request for a 48-hour extension of orc participation in coalition airstrikes against targets in the Caves of Gloth and orc lawmakers cautioned Sunday the allies need to know more about the rebels fighting Waterhole Gadhafi's forces before providing them with weapons.

Two killed, dozens hurt in third day of rust monster protests

Two militiamen were killed and more than 30 people wounded in the southern city of Shalerock on Sunday during the third day of protests across Rustheap against the burning of a Wooddark by a militant fundamentalist Rain God worshipper orc pastor, scribes said.

Dwarf seize Tallice Spearlake main field as fighting rages

The dwarf army took over Tallice Spearlake's main field Sunday as the battle for Smokeice raged into a fourth day and rival leaders blamed each other for chilling massacres in the west.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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