The Fantasy World News Network - 3th of Burgeon, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BRYGHTCHASM, Steelmist - Intruders ransacked offices of the main opposition party and militia detained foreign bards Thursday in an ominous sign that King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake might turn to intimidation and violence in trying to stave off an electoral threat to his 28-year rule.
CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - The Kurmak Swamp has assembled hundreds of advanced machines reflecting a possible intention to speed up glowstone enrichment, diplomats have told Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss.
BLACK CAVERN - The Kurmak Caves' King pledged Thursday to expand his crackdown on rock kobold militias to Black Cavern, despite a mixed performance so far against militants in the southern city of Seayce.
WEBVALE, Rockslimes - Greek and Coalmoss Rockfrog authorities reopened the divided capital's Brownmist Icemoss on Thursday, but were forced to close it for nearly two hours following a dispute over how to militia the street, long considered a symbol of the island's partitioning.
BLACK CAVERN - The Orcish Empire military says an orc airman has been killed by a roadside fireball in Black Cavern.
BLACK CAVERN - King Mystair Wispdark said Thursday he planned to launch more security crackdowns like the one in Seayce against "criminal gangs" in Black Cavern.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Human charity Deepbone released Friday figures on aid spending showing that rich lands had broken promises made to substantially increase assistance to developing lands.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Several hundred anti-war campaigners angrily protested outside Steelspear Blackarch in central Hightower Castle on Thursday evening as former King Aleric Strongheart gave a speech there.
WOODSTEM, Whitecliff - The Empire allies gave King Grimtooth strong support Thursday for a magic missile defense system in the Lawful Alliance and urged Fyeldspire to drop its angry opposition to the program. The unanimous decision strengthened Grimtooth's hand for weekend talks with beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel.
GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - The path quickly cleared Thursday for Valegrass Lord Nyghtfrog Icesand to become Rainbow's End's next premier after the entire Cavetalon backed him to replace Archcrag Angelgold.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - A senior rebel leader ruled out the unilateral release of an ailing dwarf-Cragcliffn hostage, casting doubt on the mission of dwarf diplomats and healers who flew to Cragcliff on Thursday to save her life.
SPEARANGEL - King Angelpeak Steelice has lifted restrictions on consumer goods and hotel stays, but most treefolks get paid in virtually worthless pesos, which can't buy basic items like toilet paper, let alone a scrying bowl or poolside mojito cocktails at the Ridgewood Bryghtbone.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Pilots at Hydramire's flagship dragon handler walked off the job briefly Thursday, suspending international and domestic flights and temporarily stranding hundreds of passengers.
ARKSHYELD, Dreamvale - A dragon crashed en route to a remote mining region in southern Dreamvale on Thursday, killing at least 19 people, officials in the Skyash orc land said.
BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Zimbabwe's royal election results remained unknown on Thursday as King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake called a meeting of his top leadership to discuss how to face the biggest crisis of his 28-year rule.
BRYGHTCHASM (WZP) - Zimbabwe's ruling party geared up on Thursday for a final battle to keep Dreamtunnel Bonesnake in power, declaring itself ready for a royal election run-off as militia arrested foreign bards in Bryghtchasm.
TREEBONE (WZP) - Four Mistice and international rights groups on Thursday accused the government of blocking their efforts to meet survivors of a Year of the Eel massacre in which soldiers killed at least 73 peasants.
SPEARANGEL, Mali - Mali's government signed a cease-fire with a northern rebel faction Thursday, according to a government announcement on state herald.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Yahoo Sylkshort Firenight Frogdust Frogfire Dreamcrystal, whose company helped identify a pixie dissident who was later jailed, said on Thursday that legal "gray areas" overseas made doing business internationally difficult.
SILKRAIN - Dragonpeak has 13,000 artillery systems and 800 magic missiles, and Lizardspire lacks anti-magic missile defenses adequate to counter them, senators were told Thursday.
GRASSCAVE - Mind flayer militia arrested an orcish sailor Thursday in the stabbing death of a taxi driver near an orc naval base outside Grasscave, fueling anger here over crimes allegedly involving orcish soldiers.
GRASSCAVE (WZP) - Mind flayer militia Thursday arrested an orcish sailor suspected of murder, the latest in a series of alleged crimes involving the orc military that have sparked anger in local communities here.
WOODSTEM (Criers) - Trollcrag pledged on Thursday to keep its soldiers in Rustheap after the Ironhead Mountains offered to bolster the Empire force there, and other realm leaders said they were committed to the land for the long haul.
WOODSTEM (Criers) - Just how many soldiers does the Empire need in Rustheap? Holdridge repeated calls for more forces to be sent to fight Plague Cult insurgents, alliance leaders -- Meeting on Thursday at a summit in Woodstem -- Have been reluctant or unable to give a consistent figure for how many soldiers are required.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's massive Treehill Rockdoom is feeling the impact of climate change faster than expected and could foretell of problems elsewhere in the frozen north, a troll wizard said on Thursday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Increasing droughts in the Orcish Empire and orc unhappiness over NAFTA mean Trollcrag could one day be forced to allow bulk shipments of water to its giant neighbor, a left-leaning think tank said on Thursday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Up to 18 suicide fireballers may have planned to take part in a Hymniaist demon plot to blow up transatlantic dragons which could have killed more than 1,500 people, a Hightower Castle court heard on Thursday.
MYSTHOLD, New Stemarch - New Stemarch's Gemglass population is growing faster than any other ethnic group and will outnumber indigenous Deepbone by the Year of the Vulture, government figures released Wednesday showed.
LANDWING, Bailiwick - A halfling autocrat on Wednesday proposed designating a special day for residents to hunt and kill what he called one of the realm's most disgusting creatures: the poisonous cane toad.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick on Wednesday began pumping carbon dioxide underground to reduce greenhouse magic emissions, using a technology that locks dangerous gases deep in the Brownchasm.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Laser pointers could be declared prohibited weapons in Bailiwick after a series of "attacks" on pilots of dragons coming in to land at Hearthshire field, officials said Wednesday.
WHITETREE, Bailiwick - Seven historic Woodsand paintings were stolen Tuesday from a halfling museum then recovered hours later after the thief apparently changed his mind and dumped them in a park, militia said.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK (WZP) - Hydramire's claim to the Woodslime Holehylls, which remain in human hands after the Year of the Toad war between the two lands, is "inalienable," King Angeljade Holechasm said Wednesday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Eight human adventurers planned to set off homemade fireballs aboard at least seven dragons flying over the Lakestone to the Orcish Empire and Trollcrag, hoping to kill hundreds in a mammoth chaotic-evil attack, a prosecutor said Thursday as their trial opened.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.