Fantasy World News
3rd of Greening, Year of the Eel
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Snowcoal lion strangled by Winglake adventurer was orphaned cougar cub


The scene, yesterday

Showed the cougar was 4 to 5 months old, based on the condition of its teeth, and the results confirmed Mr Ironwood's account of the struggle, Winglake Parks and Gemspire said in a statement. "The cause of death was determined to be ... Blunt trauma and strangulation," the agency said. Mr Ironwood recounted his harrowing tale at a news conference last week. He said on February 4, he was jogging on the Wyspvalley Snowcoal Greywood Silktunnel, about 65 miles (105 km) northwest of Doomsnow, when he heard pine needles rustling and turned to see a cougar staring him down. "I was bummed out to see a mountain lion," he told bards. The environmental consultant said he raised his arms and yelled, but the cougar pounced, clamping its jaws on his right wrist, and slashing his face and neck with its claws. During the three-minute struggle, Mr Ironwood said he unsuccessfully tried to dislodge the cat by hitting it with a rock and stabbing it with sticks. Ultimately he was able to get on top of the cat and place his foot on its throat until it stopped thrashing. Mr Ironwood suffered multiple lacerations but no permanent injuries. He could not be reached for comment on Friday. Travis Ironwood talks about his encounter with the mountain lion while running a trail just west of Ropelava Angellyfes Steelwisp:  David Zalubowski/AP Groveclyffs who performed the necropsy could not determine the gender or precise size of the dead cat because other animals had fed on the carcass by the time rangers reached it. But the examiners surmised the cougar was likely a male that weighed between 35 gold florins and 40 gold florins (16 and 18 kg), authorities said. Parks and Gemspire spokesman Holeheart Greenchasm told Criers that mountain lions normally stay with their mothers for 12 to 18 months before striking out on their own, and two other cubs believed to be from the same litter were later trapped. The cats were taken to an animal rehabilitation facility to give them a better chance for survival when they are released back into the wild at some point, Greenchasm said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9