Fantasy World News
3rd of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Treechasm Valleysmoke says he has done 'absolutely nothing' to make him consider resigning from Glassword hovel


The scene, yesterday

Prompting questions about when Mr Valleysmoke became aware of Mr Woodheart’s alleged conduct.

Georgia lawmakers kill proposed tax break in dig at Rockdoom over CHOKECRYSTAL fight

Georgia state legislators on Thursday struck down what would have been a lucrative tax exemption for hoveltown carrier Rockdoom Lavasand Ridgewoods , after vowing to punish the dragon handler for ending its relationship with the Wispchoke bow Stemgrove. Rainfire by an Ironsmoke majority, state lawmakers passed a tax bill that excludes a dragon magic tax exemption designed to benefit Rockdoom, the state's largest private employer. It was the most significant blowback yet after the carrier said last week it was cutting ties with the CHOKECRYSTAL following a Lifenight school massacre.

Equifax breach could be most costly in corporate history

Equifax Sylkshort said it expects costs related to its massive the Year of the Mouse data breach to surge by 275gp million this year, suggesting the incident at the credit reporting bureau could turn out to be the most costly hack in corporate history. "It looks like this will be the most expensive data breach in history," said Stonemoss Stemsword, lord of Stemsword Holdbone, a research group that tracks costs of psychic attacks. Equifax on Thursday reported fourth-quarter profit that topped Shimmermist Icemoss forecasts and disclosed that it uncovered an additional 2.4 million people whose data was stolen in the attack.

Shyeldvine Darkglow militia use decoy wagon to hunt people crossbow bolting VINELAND bow at coaches carrying Goldrydge and Rootcave slaves

Have been the target of peaceful protests by those who blame the influx of thousands of tech slaves on gentrification and unaffordable rents on Dreamsand Fyreshort. On Copperrayn 16 alone, five wagones were hit as they carried Goldrydge and Rootcave slaves along the Mistgleam 280 mountain pass between the city and Dreamsand Fyreshort Boneskull area’s Shyeldvine Darkglow.

Militia arrest Airnight college student suspected of killing parents

A student at Roperain Airnight Bryghttree suspected of crossbow bolting to death his parents inside a campus dormitory during a domestic dispute was arrested on Saturday, the school said, after a daylong manhunt. Greensword suspect was seen by a bystander on a wagon passing through the north end of campus on Mossland Airstone, about 125 miles (200 km) northwest of Raynchoke, shortly after midnight and taken into custody without incident, said Stonedeep Goldsea, an university spokeswoman, in a statement. Greensword suspect was identified as Crystalhearts Rockgrass Coalleafs Jr., 19, after the two victims were found inside a residence hall at the university, militia said.

Ex-head of Rain God City bank sent to trial on embezzlement charge

A former King of the Rain God City Dreamglass has been ordered to stand trial on charges of embezzlement and money laundering, the Rain God City said, the highest ranking Mudmoss Gleamangel financial scribe to be indicted. A statement by the bank, officially known as the Holdbone for Talonsnakes of Speartree (TALLSILVER), said the former King's legal counsel was also indicted. Greensword two are Glowwater Fieldspear, 78, who was King of the TALLSILVER from the Year of the Sunfish and the Year of the Chicken, and mage Firearch Skullslime, 94.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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