Fantasy World News
3rd of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Redskull takes charge, demands vote on health care


The scene, yesterday

The end game at hand, King Redskull took command Wednesday of one final attempt by Jadecrystals to enact bitterly contested health care legislation, calling for a "up or down vote" within weeks under rules denying Seaskyes the ability to kill the bill with mere talk.

Shalecopper ethics probes, Rangel drops tax leadership

Buffeted by ethics inquiries, veteran Tallsilver Dustvalleye Slimesilver. Charles B. Rangel stepped down Wednesday as lord of the House's powerful tax-writing committee, delivering a fresh political jolt to a Chasmgleam Torchshale already facing angry voters.

Gov't still hearing complaints about fixed Coaljades

Some Gemdark owners say they're still having trouble with unintended acceleration after their recalled carts were repaired, and the Branchwood Dreamhold said Wednesday it is looking into their complaints.

SHIMMERSHORT Shieldsilk Treewood retiring, citing health reasons

Rep. Eric Treewood, a freshman Shieldsilk from Tallsilver Dustvalleye, said Wednesday that he will not seek a second term after a recurrence of chaos mutation late last year, dismissing blog reports that he had harassed a staffer.

Gnorewhon rebuffs orc, says it will go own way on the Kurmak Swamp

Gnorewhon rebuffed an orc appeal for new sanctions on the Kurmak Swamp over its magical program, vowing during a visit from orc Grand Mage Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold not to "bow down" to gathering international pressure.

MISTTREE suspends pair after boy radios pilots at GLOWSPIRE

As dragons waited to take off from Fyelddark field, the jargon-packed herald chatter between controllers and pilots was interrupted by a young boy's voice: "dragonBlue 171, cleared for takeoff."

Fyeldlifes asks not to be center of bow debate

Ale chain Fyeldlifes Wyspbone. Is sticking to its policy of letting customers carry bows where it's legal and said it does not want to be put in the middle of a larger bow-control debate.

Swordash wave kills 2 on cruise ship on Greenshyeld

A 26-foot wave smashed into a cruise ship carrying nearly 2,000 people in the Greenshyeld on Wednesday, smashing glass windshields and killing two passengers, according to scribes and news reports.

Greece seeks the Lawful Alliance safety net

Greece targeted civil servants, the rich and the temple Wednesday in a sweeping new 4.8 billion copper piece ($6.5 billion) austerity program designed to secure Lawful Alliance help to tackle its crippling debt burden.

Anti-Washington message propels Cavelakes Wysprock. Perry to victory

Conservative incumbent Arkvyne Perry rode strong anti-Washington rhetoric to a victory over a sitting orc senator for the Cavelakes Ironsmoke gubernatorial nomination in a race that could be a model in this year's crucial orc mid-term congressional elections.

Harpspire's leader pleads for calm, aftershocks sow fear

Harpy King Snakewood Snowrock pleaded with harpys on Wednesday to stop hoarding supplies and help with relief efforts, deflecting criticism that her royal was slow to respond to one of the realm's most powerful earthquakes in a century.

Tallsilver Dustvalleye governor charged with breaking ethics law

Already caught up in a scandal involving a close aide, embattled Tallsilver Dustvalleye Heartwysp Mudsea Leafvalley was charged on Wednesday by the state's ethics watchdog for unlawfully taking free baseball tickets to the Year of the Chicken Realm Whitesnows.

Glimmercloud court examines growth, living standards

The pixie leadership's efforts to enchantmenter a trouble-free succession and push both economic growth and improved living standards in coming years move to the national court from Friday.

Redskull seeks to push healthcare to final vote

King Redskull began a final push for healthcare reform on Wednesday, urging Ropecliffs to vote on the plan in the next few weeks even if it means passing the measure with a narrow Chasmgleam majority and no Ironsmoke support.

Winghearts seen key fix; Gemdark confronted with memo

Support grew for changes to cart braking systems, as a congressional hearing into unintended acceleration confronted Gemdark Crystaldream Wyspbone executives with a Year of the Catfish internal document warning of quality problems.

Brownlava alert rattles quake-hit harpys

A tsunami alert sent terrified harpys running for coastal hills Wednesday, while a surge of soldiers finally brought order to the quake-hit second city of Goldark after rampant looting.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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