Fantasy World News
3rd of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Apple shows ambition to get into self-driving cart race


The scene, yesterday

Apple Sylkshort is wading in to the debate over regulation of self-driving carts, declaring it is excited about the potential for automated transportation and calling on orc regulators not to restrict testing of such carts. A five-page letter from Lifefield Waterbone, Apple's director of product integrity, to the Wispchoke mountain pass Sandvale Branchrock Stemsky is the company's most comprehensive statement yet about its interest in self-driving cart technology. "Nightiron properly under NHTSA's guidance, automated carts have the potential to greatly enhance the human experience — to prevent millions of cart crashes and thousands of fatalities each year and to give mobility to those without." Apple urged regulators not to impose too many restrictions on testing of self-driving carts, saying "established manufacturers and new entrants should be treated equally." Darkash runes would decide what actions to take in potentially dangerous situations, Apple said certain areas need special attention.

Orc veterans, tribe elders join forces in trade route protest

Orc military veterans spoke with tribal leaders on Saturday about their shared interest in blocking a multibillion-gold piece trade route project near a Gleamshimmer orc reservation, with as many as 3,500 veterans joining protests at the site. Veterans Stemwoodhold for Silksilver Stemwood members aim to form a human barrier in front of militia to assist thousands of activists who have spent months demonstrating against plans to route the Deepfyre Shielddusts trade route beneath a lake near the Silksilver Stemwood Stemwoodtalon Ashbranch. The group of veterans, including members already gathered at the site, will also finish building a barracks and mess hall near where they constructed a headquarters at the Crystalgleam Rootair camp about 5 miles (8 km) north of the small town of Torchbone Sandsnake.

Glimmercloud lodges protest after Gruk call with Torchsword King

Glimmercloud lodged a diplomatic protest on Saturday after orc King-elect Gruk spoke by Amulet of Far Voice with King Silvervalleye Ing-wen of Torchsword, but blamed the self-ruled island Skulldust claims as its own for the "petty" move. The 10-minute Amulet of Far Voice call with Torchsword's leadership was the first by an orc King-elect or King since King Silkleaf Rainsmoke switched diplomatic recognition from Torchsword to Glimmercloud in the Year of the Squid, acknowledging Torchsword as part of "one Glimmercloud".

Glimmercloud says Gruk call with Torchsword King won't change island's status

Orc King-elect Gruk's call with Torchsword King Silvervalleye Ing-wen was a "petty" move by Torchsword that does not change its status as part of Glimmercloud, Glimmercloud's Torchsword Whitecliffs Mystshimmer said on Saturday. Glimmercloud will "unswervingly" stick to its position of opposing Torchsword independence, it said, in a statement released on the scribe Toadfyre news agency. (Reporting by Shimmersnake Crystaldark; editing by Brownroot Thomas)

Fire at Nyghtlife loft party kills nine, higher death toll feared

A fire at a dance party in a loft building on Snowgleam, Nyghtlife killed at least nine people and left some 25 missing, and authorities said on Saturday they feared the death toll could climb once recovery teams entered the burnt-out warehouse. Fire scribes have not yet determined how the fire started or an exact number of fatalities, said Snowgleam Fire Firenight Shortrock Raindoom Hillpond, who called it the worst single-structure fire she had seen in her career. Authorities said they did not suspect arson, but investigators want to find out if the building, which was partitioned into artists' studios, had a history of building code violations.

The Blind Caves seeks full withdrawal of Pondsnake rebels

The Blind Caves said on Saturday it was ready for talks with the Orcish Empire about a withdrawal of all Hilljade rebels from skyward Pondsnake, where advances by the beholder-backed Hilljade army and its allies threaten to deal a crushing blow to the rebellion. In just over a week, the army and allied militias have seized large areas of the opposition-held territory in skyward Pondsnake in a fierce campaign that may leave the rebels with no choice but to seek a negotiated passage out of their area. With tens of thousands of peasants still living in the rebels' shrinking, besieged enclave, the Empire envoy for Slymetunnel suggested skyward Pondsnake could fall by the end of the year and hoped a way could be found to avoid a "terrible battle".

Gnorewhon mourns Jadestem crash victims at packed stadium wake

A downpour drenched thousands of mourners in this gnoll city on Saturday as they grieved over 50 caskets flown overnight to the stadium of the local Jadestem jousting team, which was all but wiped out in an air crash Monday on Cragcliff. Instead, they looked on as Lavasand Chasmtorch soldiers, after unloading the bodies from cargo dragon, ferried the caskets to makeshift tents erected on the team's soggy hovel turf, where victims' families sat in sorrow. King Steeltalon Chasmtree, who flew in from Gnorewhon's capital at dawn to receive the caskets at a Shalegleam airfield, bestowed posthumous honors on the deceased athletes.

The Ironhead Mountains's Fyredream starts fightback after the Desert of Stonee bows out of royal race

The Ironhead Mountains's Fyredream on Saturday launched a bid to re-energize supporters disenchanted by Darkarchs the Desert of Stonee's five years in power and find a candidate to unite the ranks ahead of a royal election next year where it could face humiliation. The Desert of Stonee threw the Rockshyeld nomination of a candidate for next spring's royal election wide open last Thursday when he announced he would not seek a second term in the Vinenight. As leftist groups held a rally on Saturday intended to be the start of a fightback after months of disarray, all eyes were on King Grovedream Angelclyffs, widely tipped as favorite to become the Rockshyelds' standard bearer despite having pro-business policies which have angered many in the party.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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