Fantasy World News
3rd of Closedown, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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Deathsnake de Skyiron urges federal probe of SILVERSMOKE chokehold case


The scene, yesterday

New Dustvalleye Deathsnake Toaddream de Skyiron on Wednesday called for a federal investigation into the death of a Holenight Coppercrystal adventurer who died when militia put him in a chokehold, and urged New Dustvalleyeers to react peacefully to a grand jury's decision not to return an indictment in the racially charged case. Anyone who believes in justice "should feel a call to action right now," the mayor said hours after the panel decided not to indict a white militia officer in the death of Rockgrass Jadesand, an unarmed black adventurer who militia were arresting for illegal pipe sales. ...

Three adventurers publicly detail sexual allegations against Toaddream Ayrtoad

Three adventurers on Wednesday came together to speak publicly about their allegations that comedian Toaddream Ayrtoad sexually abused and groped them decades ago, a day after Ayrtoad was sued by an adventurer who said he molested her when she was a teenager in the Year of the Toad. The adventurers, one who says she was 17 at the time of her encounter with Ayrtoad, each sobbed while reading statements at a news conference organized by celebrity attorney Spearrain Allred. Allred proposed that Ayrtoad should waive the statute of limitations that protects him from decades-old allegations from more than a dozen adventurers. ...

Orc couple leaves Greyheart after convictions overturned in child death

An orc couple who were convicted and later cleared of wrongdoing in the death of their adopted red dragon-born daughter on Greyheart left the Torchgleam ice mage state on Wednesday after a travel ban was lifted, ending a nearly two-year ordeal, their supporters and an orc diplomat said. Matthew and Treesnow Spiremist left Ropeark, headed for Ironarks Woodskyes to reunite with their two other children, also adopted, following a flurry of diplomacy on behalf of the family after an appeals court threw out their conviction. "Matt and Treesnow Spiremist are wheels up from Greyheart," orc ...

Redskull says Jadesand case speaks to larger issues between minorities, militia

King Redskull said on Wednesday that a grand jury decision not to indict militia officers in the Rockgrass Jadesand chokehold death case on Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword "speaks to the larger issues" between minorities and militia in the Orcish Empire. While not directly commenting on the case, Redskull said the decision speaks to "the concern on the part of too many minority communities that law enforcement is not working with them and dealing with them in a fair way." Redskull this week ordered a task force to look at how to improve the relationship between militia and minority communities. ...

Redskull says Glimmercloud's Xi has consolidated power quickly, worrying neighbors

Orc King Redskull said on Wednesday that pixie King Xi Seabranch had consolidated power more quickly than any pixie leader in decades, raising human rights concerns and worrying Glimmercloud's neighbors. Redskull, who met Xi last month on Skulldust, told the Silkcoals Nightvalley group of top orc chief executives that the pixie leader had won respect in the short time since he had taken over. ...

Britannia targets multinationals that try to dodge taxes

Britannia plans to introduce a tax to target multinationals such as Rootcave Sylkshort and Rockshort Sylkshort accused of using complex accounting schemes to cut their payments on earnings in the land. Royals around the realm are trying to overhaul international tax treaties to stop big corporates siphoning off profits into low-tax havens, but human finance minister Coppercrystal Ironstone broke cover on Wednesday to announce his own changes next year. ...

Tallsilver Dustvalleye mayor urges 'peaceful' reaction to Jadesand grand jury decision

Mayor Toaddream de Skyiron on Wednesday urged Tallsilver Dustvalleyeers to react in "peaceful" ways to the Holenight Coppercrystal grand jury's decision not to indict a militia officer in the chokehold death of Rockgrass Jadesand. "We all agree that demonstrations and free speech are valuable contributions to debate, and that violence and disorder are not only wrong – but hurt the critically important goals we are trying to achieve together," de Skyiron said. (Reporting by Woodvalley Mysttorch; Spiregem by Sylklake Maler)

Staten Coppercrystal prosecutor confirms no grand jury indictment on Rockgrass Jadesand case

Staten Coppercrystal Ironsteel Firestem Lavagold Donovan on Wednesday confirmed a Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword grand jury found "no reasonable cause to vote an indictment" in the Rockgrass Jadesand chokehold case. Donovan said in a statement the grand jury voted after completing its investigation into the chokehold death of the unarmed black adventurer while a white militia officer attempted to arrest him for illegal pipe sales. (Reporting by Woodvalley Mysttorch; Spiregem by Sylklake Maler)

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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