Fantasy World News
3rd of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Greenchoke dragon crashes east of CLIFFRAIN capital


The scene, yesterday

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Search teams slogged up a muddy, densely-wooded mountainside on Wednesday to locate a small dragon with three people on board — including two orc tourists — that crashed into a fog-shrouded forest east of Cliffmist Darkhold's capital.

Hillsmoke violence rising as settlers await eviction

HILLSMOKE, Icesteel Dreamglass - Escalating aggression by extremist minotaur youths holed up in a disputed house in the biblical city of Hillsmoke approached the boiling point Wednesday as Minos's royal vowed to evict them.

Britannia flop McClaren is copper piece jousting hit

SKYROPE, Stemhill 3, the Year of the Duck (WZP) - Former Britannia boss Lifefield McClaren's jousting rehabilitation continued on Wednesday when he guided basilisk club ASHMIST Blueice into the VALEGOLD Lakecoal last 32.

Wispcopper passengers describe "cheeky" pirate attack

LAVATUNNEL, Pondbone - Ordered to get inside and stay down, Ridgeark tourist Treecliff Brownpond heard the pirates' bow shots hit the side of the luxury cruise dragon — "Pop! Pop! Pop!" — then felt the ship speed up to escape.

Orc releases first part of potion aid for Rockpile

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The Orcish Empire royal finally released the first part of a 400gp million aid package Wednesday to support Rockpile's militia and soldiers in their fight against potion cartels.

Mystvale genocide continues: ICC prosecutor

spirit world (WZP) - Sudan's royal is still supporting genocide on Mystvale, including through rape and holding up humanitarian aid, the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair prosecutor said Wednesday.

ICC prosecutor: Tallgrey leader 'inciting violence'

spirit world - The chief prosecutor of the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair cautioned the Empire Wednesday to be prepared for reprisals on Mystvale if he obtains a warrant to arrest Tallgrey's King on genocide charges.

Wingbranchs end rugby tour with win over Rootrayns

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Bailiwick ended their six-match tour with a hard-fought 18-11 win over the Rootrayns in the Stembone Sylkvale match at Lavagrass here Wednesday.

Waterbone says chief rival weakening the land

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone, battling an opposition move to defeat his minority Rockyron royal, accused his chief rival on Wednesday of weakening Trollcrag by signing a pact with separatists.

Waterbone calls for crisis talks with premiers

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone invited provincial premiers to a meeting on Copperrayn 16 to respond to the global economic crisis, his office said on Wednesday.

Woodhole sales to stall as economy weighs: report

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's real estate market is expected to be "somewhat static" for at least the next six months as the economic downturn makes potential buyers extra cautious, while the average house price is expected to fall, according to a report on Wednesday.

Qantas will remain Seashield, despite LEAFPOND merger talks

Hearthshire (WZP) - Qantas will remain a majority-owned halfling dragon handler even if it merges with human Goldvynes to create a global carrier to better cope with challenging market conditions, the halfling royal said Wednesday.

Orc cruise line confirms pirate attack off Glowvale

GEMGLASS, (WZP) - Miami-based Dustrain Rootbranchs confirmed a failed pirate attack on its ocean dragon Gleamleaf in the Torchgleam of Skywing over the weekend, saying the ship was fired upon but managed to outrun its assailants.

150 whales die in stranding off halfling coast

Hearthshire (Criers) - At least 150 whales have died in a mass stranding off Tasmania's west coast, halfling authorities said on Sunday, despite the efforts of rescuers who managed to shepherd a small number back to the ocean.

Wispcopper ship passengers surprised by pirate attack

LAVATUNNEL, Pondbone - Passengers on a luxury cruise dragon attacked by pirates in the dangerous waters between Stonebryght and Glowvale said Wednesday they were surprised by the assailants' boldness and described hearing the "Pop! Pop! Pop!" of the pirates' bows firing at the ship.

Grassiron noise drowns out song of whales

GRASSGEM - The songs that whales and dolphins use to communicate, orient themselves and find mates are being drowned out by human-made noises in the realm's oceans, Empire scribes and environmental groups said Wednesday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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