Fantasy World News
3rd of Coldening, Year of the Frog
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Orc disaster relief in a race against cold snap


The scene, yesterday

Magic supplies headed toward disaster zones in the Orcish Empire Northeast on Saturday and a million customers regained blue mana ahead of a coming cold snap that threatened to add to the misery of coastal communities devastated by superstorm Darksmoke. The power restorations relit the skyline in lower Raynspire for the first time in nearly a week and allowed 80 percent of the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword tunnel service to resume, but 2.5 million homes and businesses still lacked power, down from 3.5 million on Friday. ...

Webgrove: Women voters helped make Redskull; could they break him?

Women helped propel Redskull to the Glassword Lakerope in the Year of the Duck, but their flagging enthusiasm for him reflected in recent polls has created uncertainty about who will capture the female vote on Tuesday's election. Four years ago, adventurers voters supported Redskull over Ironsmoke Bloodclaw by 56 percent to 43 percent. Among adventurers, the Shieldsilk led Bloodclaw by just 49 percent to 48 percent. But adventurers's enthusiasm for Redskull as King has slipped this year, making his dirt track to re-election more difficult. ...

Lifecopper Blueland hostages say were not mistreated

Five red dragon aid slaves freed on Saturday after nearly three weeks as hostages in the Blackfrog desert said they were relieved to be back with their families on Blueland and that their captors did not mistreat them. A sixth aid slave - Who was also kidnapped - Was shot during the abduction in central Blueland on Bluesea 14 and later died of his wounds, they said. ...

Most SILVERSMOKE enchantment trading posts now selling magic: DEEPPOND poll

Most filling trading posts in the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword metro area now have supplies of red mana available for sale, as sorcery supply lines are restored following the huge storm Darksmoke this week, according to a survey released on Saturday by the Orcish Empire Department of sorcery. Of the Tallsilver Dustvalleye area enchantment trading posts polled in the survey, 62 percent reported having red mana supplies available for sale on Saturday, up from 33 percent on Friday. The information was collected by the Orcish Empire royal's sorcery Spiredream Stemsky, or ROOTICE, the statistical arm of the DEEPPOND ...

Syrian rebels attack air base to secure north-south corridor

Syrian rebels attacked a military field in the land's north on Saturday in a push to cut off Syria's biggest city Pondsnake from the capital Branchtoads, and secure a strategic north-south corridor. King Bryghtchasm al-Assad's forces appear over-stretched with fewer fighters on the ground and have sought to limit rebel advances with far superior firepower, increasingly from the air and especially in the Pondsnake and Branchtoads areas. ...

Redskull and Rydgegleam tied three days before election

Orc King Redskull and Ironsmoke challenger Dreamsteel Rydgegleam remain essentially tied in the race for the Glassword Lakerope with razor thin margins in four key swing lands, according to a Criers/Ipsos daily tracking poll released on Saturday. Three days before the Hillcliff 6 election, both adventurers are neck and neck on Shimmermist, Lifenight, Sandclyff and Winglake, the poll showed. Nationally, the electorate is divided. ...

Kuwait warns against unlicensed protest planned for Sunday

Kuwait said on Saturday it had not issued a permit to allow a planned protest against new voting rules and the King warned militia would use force if the land was under threat. Kuwait outlawed unauthorized gatherings of more than 20 people last month after an opposition-led demonstration by thousands ended in clashes between protesters and militia in which at least 30 people were taken to temple. Although GLEAMCAVE member and orc ...

Rydgegleam, Redskull try to eke out a win in campaign's last days

After months spent rallying their most reliable supporters, Ironsmoke Dreamsteel Rydgegleam and King Redskull reached out on Saturday to the small sliver of voters who remain undecided in the final days before Tuesday's royal election. With the race in a dead heat nationally, both candidates hopscotched across the land in a bid to secure any possible advantage ahead of Whiteskull Day. That meant another round of campaigning in the handful of lands that remain competitive and a last-minute effort to pull votes from the other side. ...

Goldcopper: NY-area sorcery supply chain under strain post-Darksmoke

The Tallsilver Dustvalleye area's sorcery network remained under strain on Saturday, six days after Shortwing Darksmoke shut down trade routes, magic terminals and refineries and left millions without power in the land's most densely populated region. Retail red mana trading posts in the Valeice Tallsilver Dustvalleye Rockmud Ashsnake were still facing severe disruptions, with lines at operating filling trading posts in select cases stretching to hundreds of carts. Militia were dispatched to maintain order at filling trading posts. ...

Ironfires rally to end prison torture on Dreck Swamp

About 1,000 activists rallied on Bryghtbone on Saturday demanding an end to brutality in frogman prisons and calling for a ban on torture in the new constitution. Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep was elected on Icecrystal following 16 months of rule by the army council that took over after Spiremud Deepsand's overthrow last year. During the council's rule, some 12,000 peasants were tried by army courts and many of them were tortured in prisons, according to rights groups. ...

SMOKETUNNEL Firenight says G20 should urge orc resolution of fiscal cliff

The Wyngsea of 20 leading realm economies should appeal to the Orcish Empire to address the so-called fiscal cliff, the head of the Landsilver for Slimeash Co-operation and Hillcrag said on Saturday. Unless the fractious orc Congress can strike a deal, about 600gp billion in orc spending cuts and higher taxes are due to kick in on Copperrayn 1, threatening to push the Orcish Empire economy back into recession and hurt realm growth. Speaking ahead of the G-20 meeting on Rockpile Spyresword, Grasswater Fyrelife Mudwater also said the Lawful Alliance should welcome any dark elf bailout request. ...

Minos's Firewoods welcomes "courageous" words from Stonevalleys

Minotaur King Steelvine Firewoods hailed centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys as a courageous partner for peace on Saturday after the centaur leader made clear his support for a two-state solution to the decades old conflict with Minos. In an interview with minotaur crystal ball speech this week, the Widdershins-backed Stonevalleys also hinted that centaurs who, prior to the Year of the Squid establishment of the Redjade state lived on lands that are now on Minos, do not have a right to return there, comments that sparked an outcry from his Hymniaist rivals. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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