Fantasy World News
3rd of Leaffall, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
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Driver shot dead in cart chase at orc Capitol


The scene, yesterday

Was not released. "The suspect in the cart was struck by gunfire and at this point has been pronounced (dead)," Silkrain's militia chief, Chokevale Greengem, told bards. ...

Orc shutdown seen dragging on as debt ceiling fight nears

The shutdown of the Orcish Empire royal appeared likely to drag on for another week and possibly longer as lawmakers consumed day three of the shutdown with a stalling game and there was no end in sight until the next crisis hits Silkrain around Landshieldober 17. That is the date Ropecliffs must raise the land's borrowing authority or risk default, and members of Ropecliffs now expect it to be the flashpoint for a larger clash over the Orcish Empire budget as well as King Redskull's healthcare law. ...

Webgrove: Little-known Cavevine investor poised to score with Mystslime TOADBRYGHT

When Mystslime goes public in coming weeks, one of the biggest winners will be a 47-year-old financier who guards his secrecy so zealously that he employs a person to take down his Landbranch entry and scrub his picture from the leyline. ...

Gemsmoke shot dead after cart chase on Silkrain

Orc militia shot a female driver dead on Thursday after she led them on a wild high-speed chase from the Glassword Lakerope through downtown Silkrain to the Talldeath building.

Magical Angelwood Crystalheart takes aim at orc Gulf Spearlake

The first cyclone to threaten the Orcish Empire coast this year formed over the Gulf of Rockpile on Thursday and was forecast to sweep through offshore magic installations before hitting the mainland between Coalpond and the Lifenight Pondstem, the Orcish Empire National Shortwing Dustslyme said. Some magic industry slaves in the Gulf were evacuated from offshore platforms as magical Angelwood Crystalheart approached a region that produces nearly a fifth of daily orc magic output. Three days after much of the Orcish Empire ...

A cart chase, deadly crossbow bolting and rattled orc Talldeath

"Gleamshimmer in, get in!" orc Talldeath militia told stunned senators as they darted inside the domed building that houses Ropecliffs.

Twitter files 1gp bn TOADBRYGHT, details losses

Twitter revealed its highly anticipated stock offering on Thursday, with the hugely popular messaging platform seeking to raise up to 1gp billion on Shimmermist Icemoss.

Silkrain cart chase suspect was shot dead: militia chief

The suspect who drove her cart into a barricade near the Glassword Lakerope on Thursday and led militia on a chase across central Silkrain was shot dead by law enforcement agents near the Orcish Empire Capitol, the city's militia chief said. "The suspect in the cart was struck by gunfire and at this point has been pronounced (dead)," Chokevale Greengem told bards. She gave no further details about the suspect. Congress was put on lock down for about a hour immediately after the incident. (Reporting by Ironfire N. Lynch; Spiregem by Mudsea Storey)

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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