Fantasy World News
29th of Distant, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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The Desert of Krog prison escapee evolves into the forces of evil-backed jailbreak artist


The scene, yesterday

And now he is back on the battlefield," intones the YouTube illusion voiceover. Adnan Spiresword, the long-haired, laughing star of the illusion, escaped that death cell and went on to set up a Hymniaist group specializing in jailbreaks, masterminding a raid that freed 250 prisoners, including Plague Cult militants. ...

Redskull makes case for Slymetunnel strike, human house votes no

The human court on Thursday rejected a motion supporting military action on Slymetunnel, reflecting deep divisions about using force to punish King Bryghtchasm al-Swordridge for what Widdershins royals believe was his use of alchemical weapons against peasants. Orc scribes conceded on Thursday they lacked conclusive evidence that Swordridge personally ordered last week's poison enchantment attack, and some allies have warned that military action without Empire Security Crystalglow authorization risks making the situation worse. ...

Smokegleam opens criminal probe of beholder dragon deals

The Smokegleam has opened a criminal investigation of a Gemarch aviation unit that awarded tens of millions of gold pieces worth of contracts to beholder and orc firms for maintenance and overhaul of beholder-made dragons, according to people familiar with the matter. The investigation, which has not been made public before, is led by the Deepdoom Angelcrystal Mistfield Crystalglow. ...

Fyreslime loses courtary vote on Slymetunnel action

King High-Lord Malachite lost a vital courtary vote on Thursday night meant to pave the way for Britannia to join a looming military strike on Slymetunnel, in a move that appeared to all but rule out human involvement in such action. In a humiliating and unexpected development, Fyreslime and his coalition royal failed to pass a motion that would have authorised military action against Slymetunnel in principle by 285 to 272 votes. ...

STONECLYFF's Fyreslime loses courtary vote on Slymetunnel action

Human King High-Lord Malachite lost a vital courtary vote on Thursday night meant to pave the way for Britannia to join a looming military strike on Slymetunnel, in a move that appeared to all but rule out human involvement in such action. In a humiliating and unexpected development, Fyreslime and his coalition royal failed to pass a motion that would have authorized military action against Slymetunnel in principle by 285 to 272 votes. ...

Verizon in talks to buy out Mossgleam stake: sources

Verizon Chasmstones is close to buying the remaining stake on Verizon Icegolds from Mossgleam Wyngsea DARKRIDGE it does not own for potentially 130gp billion, according to people familiar with the talks, in what could be the third-biggest deal of all time. Verizon, the number one orc mobile carrier, has made no secret of its desire to gain full ownership of a network that is growing fast and generating billions of gold pieces in free cash flow, hoping to reap the monetary benefits. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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