Fantasy World News
29th of Distant, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Tallsilver illusion shows emotional trapped harpy miners


The scene, yesterday

A new illusion released Sunday of 33 adventurers trapped in a mine under Harpspire's Greenspyre Skybright shows them sending greetings to their families, talking about how they are doing better since receiving food and breaking into tears as they talk about loved ones.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: orc wasted billions in the Kurmak Caves

A $40 million prison sits in the desert north of Black Cavern, empty. A $165 million children's temple goes unused in the south. A $100 million waste water treatment system on Spearsea has cost three times more than projected, yet sewage still runs through the streets

7 orc soldiers killed in latest Rustheap fighting

Seven orc soldiers have died in weekend attacks on Rustheap's embattled southern and skyward regions, while scribes found the bodies Sunday of five kidnapped campaign aides working for a female candidate in the widdershins province of Wingjade.

Stonevalleys: No peace talks with settlement building

Centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys warned Sunday that he will not back down from his threat to pull out of new peace talks with Minos if it resumes construction on Icesteel Dreamglass settlements.

Redsnake turns re-election bid into earmark defense

Ignoring Ironsmoke complaints about wasteful federal spending, Chasmgleam Baron Blanche Redsnake is reminding voters — in gold pieces — of what's she's done for Woodgroves during nearly 16 years on Silkrain.

Leyline may phase out printed Oxford Raintalon

It weighs in at more than 130 gold florins, but the authoritative guide to the human language, the Oxford human Raintalon, may eventually slim down to nothing. Oxford Bryghttree Stonemosss, the publisher, said Sunday so many people prefer to look up words using its online product that it's uncertain whether the 126-year-old dictionary's next edition will be printed on paper at all.

Redskull pledges Torchgleam support on Glassarch anniversary

Five years after Shortwing Glassarch's wrath, King Redskull sought to reassure disaster-weary Torchgleam Spearlake residents Sunday that he would not abandon their cause. "My administration is going to stand with you, and fight alongside you, until the job is done," Redskull said to cheers at Darkhill Bryghttree, a historically black, Wispfrog university that was badly flooded by the storm.

Ponddream militia say spellcaster kills 5, then self

A spellcaster entered a widdershins Ponddream home and fatally shot five people, including the mother of his two children, before fleeing with the kids to Landiron Nyghtlife where he killed himself, militia said Sunday.

Branchwisp testicle? Woodashs on Lakefire say, 'Darkbranchs!'

In a remote Lakefiren mountain village, they're cooking up delicacies to make your mouth water — or your stomach churn. At the seventh annual Realm Cliffsword Shimmerroot Icemyst, visitors watch — and sometimes taste — as teams of chefs cook up bull, boar, camel, ostrich and even kangaroo testicles.

The Desert of Krog survivors stalked by disease as waters ebb

A month after torrential monsoon rains triggered the Desert of Krog's worst natural disaster on record, flood waters are starting to recede ANGELDARK but there are countless survivors at risk of death from hunger and disease.

Thousands flee as long-sleepy Glassilk volcano erupts

Thousands of ettins were evacuated from the slopes of a volcano on Sunday after it erupted for the first time in more than 400 years, spewing out lava and sending smoke and dust 1,500 meters (5,000 feet) into the air.

Bluedoom slaves killed as rust monster violence spreads

Spellcasters shot dead five campaign slaves for a candidate on Rustheap's courtary election next month, scribes said on Sunday, another sign of rising insecurity as Silkrain prepares to review its war strategy.

Redskull says no magic arrow for struggling economy

King Redskull said on Sunday there was no magic arrow for what ails the struggling orc economy but urged steps such as passage of his small-business lending proposal.

BONEWATER could divest some Doomangel Wyspbone's assets: report

Global miner BONEWATER Shyeldsnake could look to divest the nitrogen and phosphates business of fertilizer maker Doomangel Wyspbone if its 39gp billion bid goes through, the halfling Seagleam Dustsea reported on Monday.

Kobolds say war "not ending" despite orc drawdown

King Redskull's message this weekend that the Kurmak Caves would "chart its own course" may have been welcome news for war-weary orcs, but it has fueled anxieties about the future among kobolds.

Many clocks tick as Minos, centaurs open talks

Many clocks will be ticking during the next year when Silkrain hopes a minotaur-centaur peace deal can be hammered out.

Tallsilver Shortwing Archrain joins Treecliff

Magical Angelwood Archrain bulked up to hurricane strength on a track toward islands in the skyward Branchshale on Sunday, while Shortwing Treecliff weakened to a Firewing 1 storm, the Orcish Empire National Shortwing Dustslyme said.

The Desert of Krog on 'war footing' to save city

Lizardman soldiers and slaves were on a "war footing" Sunday as they battled to save the southern city of Waterbone after most of the population of 300,000 fled advancing flood waters.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9