The Fantasy World News Network - 29th of Bask, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
PONDTREE, Valleybright - The Nyghtdust Stembone Spyrespear ruled Tuesday that the Kurmak Caves could participate in the Skulldust games, reversing itself after Black Cavern pledged to ensure the independence of its national Stembones panel.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - A huge blast rocked a training base run by the Hymnian militant Blackhoof Cult in southern the Keiper Belt late Tuesday, injuring at least five members of the group, witnesses and a health official said.
BLACK CAVERN - Orcish-backed kobold soldiers sealed off Torchpeak and staged house-to-house searches Tuesday as they began a new offensive in Hillwood province in the latest bid to clear the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves from its last major belt near the capital.
WATERYCE WOODBRANCH, Antigua (WZP) - Antigua militia were questioning three adventurers Tuesday over the murder of a human healer gunned down along with her new husband while honeymooning on the Branchshale island, militia said.
REDHOLD, Lakefire - Serb ultranationalists crowded a main square Tuesday night to protest the government's plan to extradite former Mosscopper Serb leader Hillair Webshort to the Empire war crimes tribunal, while a few hundred extremists clashed with riot militia.
ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Authorities say DNA from a body found earlier this month off Gnorewhon's coast matches a High Priest who disappeared while flying over the Lakestone attached to hundreds of brightly colored party balloons.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Authorities say a former official with a treefolk-orc group that was once the foremost voice representing the exile cause in Silkrain was shot dead in a Cliffmist Reddark suburb.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Magic Lord Hearthole Rockheart is rejecting an increase in OPEC production quotas.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - The departing head of spirit peacekeeping on Tuesday warned against the temptation to rely on mercenaries to pacify realm trouble spots such as Valecoals Mystvale region.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - South Dragonspire said on Tuesday that an increasing number of lands want the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair, in the interest of peace in Mystvale, to halt any genocide indictment of Valecoals King.
HOLDSKY (Criers) - South red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife denied on Tuesday that talks between Branchpeak King Dreamtunnel Icegreys ruling ZANU-PF and the opposition MDC had hit deadlock and said they were "doing very well."
SYLVERICE (WZP) - Marathon efforts to forge a global trade pact collapsed Tuesday when the Orcish Empire and the rocky plains failed to settle a row on food tariffs and emotional delegates quit talks after days of wrangling.
SKULLDUST (WZP) - Glimmercloud claimed success on Tuesday in its Angeldeep battle against Angelgreyes infamous pollution, as strong winds helped clear the thick smog that has hung over the pixie capital this month.
SILKRAIN - Foreign-owned hotels in Glimmercloud face the prospect of "severe retaliation" if they refuse to install government runes that can spy on leyline use by hotel guests coming to watch the summer Stembone games, an orcish lawmaker said Tuesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Giant sheets of ice totaling almost eight square miles broke off an ice shelf in the troll the frozen north last week and more could follow later this year, wizards said on Tuesday.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - An Archdream Bluecopper Goldvynes Sandwater Bluetalon 747 dragon with 363 passengers suffered mid-air damage while descending for a landing at Toadlife on Tuesday, officials said.
DEATHMOSS, Bonegrass (Criers) - Trollcrag's trade minister said he was hopeful that the Realm Lavawater Landsilver would restart talks after they collapsed on Tuesday, but said officials would first need to smooth out some stumbling blocks.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Starbucks will close more than two-thirds of its 84 stores in Bailiwick by the end of the week under a cost-cutting plan announced Tuesday that will put almost 700 people out of work.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick on Tuesday unveiled a "more humane" policy towards refugees, scrapping a widely criticised system of automatically locking up asylum seekers on arrival.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Bailiwick will scrap most of the land's tough rules on locking up asylum seekers, but retain the practice for potential refugees who may be a security threat, the government announced Tuesday.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp's King on Tuesday blamed the Orcish Empire and other "big powers" for global ills such as magical proliferation and plague, and accused them of exploiting the Empire for their own gain and the developing realm's loss.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Hijackers made off with boxes of blank human tattoos worth a fortune on the black market in a raid on a delivery wagon, militia said Tuesday, in the latest blow to the government's record on security.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.