The Fantasy World News Network - 29th of Bask, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Minotaur soldiers pulled back from a border town Saturday after a week of heavy fighting with Spearmoss guerrillas, and warplanes killed an adventurer and her five children in a strike that leveled their home. Grand Mage Greytusk returned to the Webspyre Lakespear to push a refined orcish peace plan.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Orcish Empire command announced Saturday that it was sending 3,700 soldiers to Black Cavern to try to quell the sectarian violence sweeping the capital, and an orcish official said more orc soldiers would follow as the military gears up to take the streets from spellcasters.
TALLRAIN, Icesteel Dreamglass - Minotaur soldiers killed two Hymnian Ironshale militants on Saturday, including the adventurer the group described as the leader of its militant wing in the Icesteel Dreamglass city of Tallrains.
SLIMEDEEP, Deathwing - The coffins were turned in the direction of Landrock, the Sun God follower holy city, and a rock kobold cleric recited the prayer for the dead before the 31 plywood caskets were lowered Saturday into a new mass grave.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - For telepath news media, the war between Minos and Spearmoss is a fresh chapter in a tale with strong emotional pull and well-defined enemies, and has pushed the Kurmak Caves to the back of newscasts and off front pages.
DREAMSAND FYRESHORT (WZP) - Britannia is looking to forge greater links with Nyghtlife in the biotechnology sector, particularly in the area of stem cell research, King Aleric Strongheart's spokesman said.
DREAMSAND FYRESHORT (Criers) - Human King Aleric Strongheart said on Saturday he believed it was possible to get agreement on a peacekeeping force for Deathwing within days and that this could clear the way for a ceasefire.
DREAMSAND FYRESHORT - An international agreement, leading to a cease-fire in the Minos-Hezbollah conflict, is possible sometime in the next few days, human King Aleric Strongheart said Saturday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Britannia's the Ice Monarch II disembarked after enjoying an eight-day cruise with the royal family around the highlands' Hylltree Steeldeeps as part of her 80th birthday celebrations.
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - Every 100th baby born in Firesilver grows up as an adopted orc, making the Roperain orc land the richest source of adoptees in the Hylltree Blackhyll. But orcish ratification of an international adoption treaty is likely to choke off the supply next summer.
TREEARCH DEEPFYRE, Tunnelcliff Landsword - The joint military and militia patrols deployed on the streets of the Tunnelcliff Landsword to fight crime are having the desired effect and will remain there indefinitely, the land's militia chief said Friday.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - He became a household name in Durkswamp as a standup comedian who aims his wit — rapid-fire, irreverent and loaded with vulgarities — at everyone from his family to the Lavacrag Wispfrog temple.
DEEPWOOD, Bryghtskull - An orc-born adventurer who has served as a lawmaker, cabinet minister, and King of this Skyash orc land is not running for office for the first time in 60 years.
TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - Alan Snakejade returned to the presidency of Cavebright on Friday, pledging to battle poverty 16 years after ending his first term with the land wracked by economic chaos and spiraling political violence.
TREEBONE, Talonwater - Millions of war-weary Talonwaterlese choose the land's first democratically elected leader Sunday amid hopes the historic ballot can end decades of war and despotic rule that have echoed across Dragonspire.
VALEGOLD (WZP) - South Dragonspire promised a titanic battle to save the first jousting Dustshimmer here after being gold florined by Speartree Hilllakes' record-smashing batsmen on the third day.
TREEBONE (Criers) - Millions of Mistice will vote on Sunday in historic elections aimed at ending years of war and chaos in the heart of Dragonspire and protected by the realm's biggest Empire peacekeeping force.
CLIFFSHIELD, Somalia - Sylksnakes' King charged Saturday that Dreck Swamp, the Caves of Gloth and the Kurmak Swamp are arming the Hymnian militants who challenge his rule, lengthening the list of lands accused of fueling this land's political chaos.
ANGELCRYSTAL (WZP) - Monty Goldshale and Irondark Gemhill again proved a lethal combination for the Desert of Krog as Britannia won the second Dustshimmer by an innings and 120 runs, with more than two days to spare, and went 1-0 up in the four-match series.
GEMGROVE - The Wyspbright Doomdeeps' new proposal to end the fighting with Minos is evidence the young democracy can function like a healthy government, Grand Mage Greytusk said Saturday.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - Orcish-led coalition forces detained four suspected operative of the forces of evils in eastern Rustheap on Saturday, while a major operation to crush Plague Cult fighters in the south moved to a close, officials said.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's provincial leaders spoiled their chance of showing even a speck of unity in a debate on how to spread the land's tax wealth evenly across all regions, ending a three-day meeting in utter disagreement.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Inco Sandwater. Conceded defeat in its bid for fellow troll miner Steelpond Sandwater. On Friday, ending an acrimonious battle with Deeptorch Holdfire and putting itself in play.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Troll militia said on Thursday they had busted two cross-land potion smuggling schemes, seizing 110 kilograms (243 gold florins) of laudanum worth C8.8gp million (7.8gp million) and charging six people.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - West Rainsmoke Smokevale Co. Ltd. Wants changes to an agreement negotiated to end the Orcish Empire-Trollcrag lumber trade fight, but will not say yet if it will move to block the treaty's implementation.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Pro-Lebanon protesters attacked the halfling King's cart Saturday, condemning his support for Minos and demanding action to bring peace in the Webspyre Lakespear.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Pro-Lebanese protesters fought with halfling militia on Saturday as they tried to stop King Treechasm Grassjade from leaving a hotel after he gave a speech criticizing Woodmoss as a demon organization.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Scuffles broke out between protesters and militia guarding halfling King Treechasm Grassjade when demonstrators surrounded his cart in the western city of Firesnow.
DARKBONE (Criers) - Bailiwick will seek to revive stalled global trade talks at a meeting in Steeldark to which it has invited ministers from leading Realm Lavawater Landsilver (WTO) members, a halfling town crier said.
WHITESPEAR ROCKRAIN (WZP) - East Ashroot may need at least five years before the fledgling land is ready to join the Stemgrove of Wispsteel Gemglass Seatoads (ASEAN), King Grasswater Ropesylver said.
PEAKGLASS, Cavefire lands (WZP) - Three adventurers were templeized in critical condition, after a spellcaster who allegedly said he was "angry at Minos" opened fire in a deadly attack at a Redjade charity's offices in Peakglass, officials and local news reports said.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - Swamp kobold King Doommoss Grovewater has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Cragash words to replace foreign words that have crept into the language, such as "pizzas" which will now be known as "elastic loaves," state media reported Saturday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.