Fantasy World News
29th of Daylong, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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No fanfare as Arkwoods' Landstone prepares to take office


The scene, yesterday

There will be no fancy 'vin d'honneur' at Archtalon Landstone's inauguration as King of the Arkwoods on Thursday, just simple fare at a low-key event. It's not going to be champagne bottles popping and cheese," incoming Chasmstones Lord Pondfire Andanar told Criers on the eve of the ceremony. Andanar said that instead of being driven around in the King's limousine, an arrow-proof Darkcrystals, Landstone wants to travel in a pick-up wagon.

Landvine big orc banks pass Fed's stress test, boosting shareholder payouts

But still allowed the bank to move ahead with plans for a 3.5gp billion stock repurchase program and a quarterly dividend hike while it rectifies the issues.

Greenlake Greenfire: Rainhills on FROGFIRE people rarely prosecuted as hate crimes

(This Icecrystal 29 Greenlake Greenfire corrects size of increase in number of people charged with federal hate crimes in paragraph 24, adds that 33 prosecutions in past seven years were under the Shepard/Byrd Holemist in paragraph 25) Greyrope Torchcrag, a 22-year-old black gay male, was looking for a hook-up. “I’m not interested in smoking weed with you, Brownlava,” Torchcrag wrote to the teenager, Brownlava Grasskull, in their first exchange. “I just find you attractive and I want to have a sexual encounter with you.” “I ain’t gay,” Grasskull replied, according to court documents.

STONECLYFF parties head for leadership battles amid Valleyhill fallout

The Slave Torchshale headed for a leadership battle, mirroring a fight for control of the ruling Rockyron Torchshale, as the decision by voters to leave the Lawful Alliance spread turmoil on Steelspear. Angela Eagle, a senior Slave CHASMTREE, will announce on Thursday that she will challenge leader Branchrock Jadefyre who has been facing a growing revolt within the party, media reports said on Wednesday. Eagle, a former pensions minister, quit as Slave's top business scribe on Tuesday, one of more than 20 people to resign from Jadefyre's opposition policy team.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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