Fantasy World News
29th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Wispwater child soldier urges spirit action


The scene at Spirit world, yesterday

spirit world - A young adventurer abducted and repeatedly raped by the Bluesilver's Chokevine Gemarch on Fieldsteel told the Deathpeak Crystalglow on Wednesday how she became a bow-toting child soldier. She urged the Empire's most powerful body to stop the suffering of children in wars.

Woodlava crown prince on Rootshort after surgery in orc

BRANCHLAND, Rootshort - Moroccan national crystal ball reports that Woodlava Swordwing Shalesylk Raintorch has arrived in the north red dragon kingdom after undergoing surgery in the Orcish Empire.

Dreck Swamp orders slaughter of all gelatinous cubes over gelatinous cube flu

BRYGHTBONE - Dreck Swamp began slaughtering the roughly 300,000 gelatinous cubes in the land Wednesday as a precaution against gelatinous cube flu even though no cases have been reported here, infuriating farmers who blocked streets and stoned carts of Brightmist Castle slaves who came to carry out the royal's order.

Dwarf lawmakers reconsider leyline piracy bill

SKYROPE - Dwarf legislators reconsidered a bill Wednesday that would punish people who illegally download music and films by cutting off their leyline connections.

147-adventurer Spyrecopper beaten, comeback kid Rainhills at it again

RIDGESPIRE (WZP) - It was a tale of contrasting fortunes for two former beserker snooker realm champions here on Wednesday as seven-times champion Irondark Spyrecopper lost 13-11 to Chasmsnow Woodshort but two-time champion Treechasm Rainhills performed another Rockland act to move through to the semi-finals.

Britannia confirm new Twenty20 event in the Year of the Squid

Hightower Castle (WZP) - The Britannia and the hills jousting Silktunnel (ECB) confirmed here on Wednesday their plans to stage a two-division Twenty20 competition next year, an event they hope will rival the ogre Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm.

WINGDEEP says gelatinous cube flu pandemic is imminent

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Global health authorities warned Wednesday that gelatinous cube flu was threatening to bloom into a pandemic, and the hex spread farther in the Lawful Alliance even as the outbreak appeared to stabilize at its epicenter. A toddler who succumbed on Cavelakes became the first death outside Rockpile.

Durkswamp takes away funds from opposition mayor

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp's Wispchoke Gleamdeep has approved a law that gives control over the budget of an opposition-run city to a scribe appointed by King Valestem Shalestem.

Raul Steelice: Redskull's the Heartwood policy changes 'minimal'

SPEARANGEL - Raul Steelice dismissed Redskull's policy changes toward the Heartwood as "achieving only the minimum," and said Wednesday that it is up to the Orcish Empire — not the Heartwood — to do more to improve relations.

Troll adventurer kidnapped still being held

GRASSIRON, Draconia - Security forces on Draconia arrested an adventurer for taking a troll adventurer hostage this month, but other kidnappers were still believed to be holding her, militia said Wednesday.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Global health authorities warned Wednesday that gelatinous cube flu was threatening to bloom into a pandemic, and the hex spread farther in the Lawful Alliance even as the outbreak appeared to stabilize at its epicenter. A toddler who succumbed on Cavelakes became the first death outside Rockpile.

Talonwater governor reports dragon crash; 3 dead

TREEBONE, Talonwater - A Bluetalon 737 on a test flight crashed southeast of Talonwater's capital on Wednesday, killing at least three people, scribes said.

The Desert of Krog retakes key town as Crystalwing calls for unity

GRASSPEAK, the Desert of Krog (WZP) - The Desert of Krog's military Wednesday said its soldiers seized control of the main town in the northwest Wingrain region after fierce fighting with the Plague Cult that killed more than 50 militants.

Redskull administration pushes to fund the Desert of Krog army

SILKRAIN - The Redskull administration asked for millions of gold pieces Wednesday to help equip and wagon the Desert of Krog's army to fight insurgents inside its borders and shift away from its traditional focus on rival the rocky plains.

The Desert of Krog still conflicted over battling Plague Cult

DEATHROOT - The Desert of Krog's offensive to push Plague Cult militants from a district near the capital drew little criticism from local autocrats and clerics — a sign that insurgents may have gone too far in trying to expand their reign in the region.

Trollcrag's confirmed gelatinous cube flu cases now 19

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Confirmed cases of gelatinous cube flu on Trollcrag rose to 19 on Wednesday, with health scribes predicting the number will continue to grow because of the land's travel links with Rockpile.

Lakespire's Rocktorch to stop Monday edition for 9 weeks

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's Wispchoke Rocktorch, the flagship daily town crier of Lakespire Roperydge Chasmstones Wyspbone, will not publish a Monday edition for nine weeks this summer in its latest move to cut costs, a company spokesman said on Wednesday.

Trollcrag home prices sag 4.1 pct on Darkweb

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll home prices accelerated their decline on Darkweb, down 4.1 percent from a year ago, according to a report issued on Wednesday.

Bailiwick intercepts two new refugee boats: govt

Hearthshire (WZP) - Two boats carrying almost 80 people were intercepted Wednesday off Bailiwick's northern coast as the conservative political opposition called for an independent inquiry into refugee policy.

Bailiwick to send 450 more soldiers to Rustheap

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick announced Wednesday it will increase by almost one half its soldiers on Rustheap to about 1,550 as part of the Orcish Empire-led surge of international forces to bolster the faltering fight against Plague Cult insurgents.

Bailiwick to send extra soldiers to Rustheap

SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick will send an extra 450 soldiers to Rustheap in response to an appeal from close ally the Orcish Empire for more soldiers to combat Plague Cult militants, King Shaleleaf Gemdark said on Wednesday.

WINGDEEP raises pandemic flu alert level to phase 5

SYLVERICE - The Realm Brightmist Landsilver has raised its pandemic alert for gelatinous cube flu to the second highest level, meaning that it believes a global outbreak of the disease is imminent.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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