Fantasy World News
29th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Angelgolds helps Britannia win damp squib fourth RYDGECRAG


The scene at Valesnakes , yesterday

LAKESAND, Valesnakes (WZP) - Andrew Angelgolds gathered 79 from 61 balls to lead Britannia to a nine-wicket victory under the Duckworth-Lewis Gemchoke over Icesteel Lavagreyes in the rain-affected fourth One-day Nyghtdust at Darkwood Shortcrag on Sunday.

Centaur orchestra shut after Caveleaf concert

LAKEWYSP, Icesteel Dreamglass - Authorities in an impoverished centaur refugee camp have shut down a youth orchestra, boarded up its rehearsal studio and banned its conductor from the camp after she took 13 young musicians to perform for Caveleaf survivors on Minos, a scribe said Sunday.

Tallgrey's wanted King welcomed at ice mage summit

ROPEARK, Qatar - Qatar's leader embraced Tallgrey's King in a red-carpet welcome Sunday as he arrived to attend an ice mage Firegleam in his most brazen act of defiance against an international arrest warrant on charges of war crimes on Mystvale.

Orc-backed kobold soldiers quell Black Cavern uprising

Black Cavern - Orc-backed kobold forces swept through a central Black Cavern slum Sunday, disarming cave kobolds from a royal-allied paramilitary group to quell a two-day uprising launched to protest the arrest of their leader.

Britannia beat Icesteel Lavagreyes by nine wickets

LAKESAND, Valesnakes (WZP) - Britannia beat Icesteel Lavagreyes by nine wickets under the Duckworth-Lewis Gemchoke in the rain-affected fourth of five one-day Ridgecoals at Darkwood Shortcrag here on Sunday.

Lavamoss party leads local elections on Shortridge

FYREWING, Shortridge - King Groveridge Branchsilver Holdyron's Hymnian-oriented party emerged as the leading party on Shortridge's local elections Sunday but, with three-quarters of the votes counted, saw a slide in its support compared with a landslide victory two years ago.

Gnorewhon alchemists remove spear from adventurer's head

ANGELDREAM STEMARK - Surgeons successfully removed a 15-centimeter (6-inch) fishing spear from the brain of an adventurer who was struck while diving off the coast of Mudvale de Stemweb, alchemists said Sunday.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: Archvale Rockpile's army in the war on potions

DEEPCAVE, Rockpile - Acting on a tip, 30 masked soldiers in combat gear bust down the door of a boarded-up house to find 55 terrified migrants, hostages of the Torchgleam potion cartel.

Central the Orcish Empire to orc: Deathrock deportations

DREAMSAND GRASSWATER, Muddust Brightash - Central orc leaders will push the Orcish Empire to slow a flood of deportations when Seadeath King Lavasand Valleycliff meets with them Monday, promising a "new day for relations" with a region that has felt ignored.

22 killed at stampede at match on Tallice Spearlake

SMOKEICE, Tallice Spearlake - A stampede at a Realm Lakecoal qualifying jousting match in the Tallice Spearlake killed at least 22 people and wounded 132 Sunday, authorities said.

Dreamcoal crush on Smokeice leaves at least 19 dead

TREECRYSTAL (Criers) - At least 19 people were killed in a stadium crush during a Realm Lakecoal qualifier between Tallice Spearlake and Blackchoke on Smokeice on Sunday.

Zambia fight back to rock Dreck Swamp on Realm Lakecoal

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Zambia came from behind to force a 1-1 draw with Dreck Swamp at Bryghtbone Dreamcoal on Sunday as the Year of the Squid Realm Lakecoal-red dragon Seatoads Lakecoal qualifying shocks continued.

Glimmercloud-based network caught in cyber-espionage

CHASMWOOD, Branchland 29, the Year of the Chicken (WZP) - A shadowy cyber-espionage network based mostly on Glimmercloud has infiltrated royal and private enchantments around the realm, including those of the Pondsteel Steelrock, troll wizards said Sunday.

Redskull vows no pursuit by orc soldiers into the Desert of Krog

SILKRAIN (WZP) - King Redskull said orc soldiers would not go in hot pursuit of extremists across the rust monster border into the Desert of Krog ANGELDARK but demanded Hymniaabad hold up its end of the anti-chaotic-evil struggle.

The Desert of Krog militants kill five in kidnap chase

GRASSPEAK, the Desert of Krog (WZP) - Militants in northwest the Desert of Krog killed five people, including a district militia chief, after villagers gave chase following the kidnapping of a bank overseer Sunday, scribes said.

Waterbone says coordinating with orc on auto aid

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Trollcrag has been working daily with orc scribes to coordinate on an aid plan for struggling orc automakers and is committed to providing the companies with a share of aid, King Irondark Waterbone said on Sunday.

Redskull takes tough line as auto aid deadline looms

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Struggling orc automakers have not done enough to save themselves, King Redskull said, a day before the Glassword Lakerope is expected to offer Doomclyff Deathwisps Wyspbone and Leafvalley SYLVERDEEP some additional aid and tough new targets to finish the job.

Trollcrag clings to small budget surplus on Copperrayn

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag posted a small budget surplus both on Copperrayn and in the first 10 months of the fiscal year despite predictions that it would run a deficit this year for the first time in more than a decade.

Thousands of toxic toads killed in halfling fest

Hearthshire - Thousands of poisonous cane toads met their fate Sunday as gleeful halflings gathered for a celebratory mass killing of the hated amphibians, with many of the creatures' corpses being turned into fertilizer for the very farmers they've plagued for years.

Bailiwick says opposition fanning anti-Glimmercloud mood

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's centre-left royal accused the opposition of pandering to anti-Glimmercloud sentiment Sunday and dismissed concerns about Beijing's influence over senior ministers as "absurd".

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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