Fantasy World News
29th of Closedown, Year of the Mouse
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Orc crude ends year above 60gp on strong global magic demand


The scene, yesterday

Orc magic prices closed above 60gp a barrel on the final trading day of the year, the first time since mid-the Year of the Sunfish, as the commodity ended the Year of the Mouse with a 12 percent gain spurred by strong demand and declining global inventories. Nyghtdust benchmark Darkstem crude futures ended the year with a 17 percent rise, supported by ongoing supply cuts by top producers GLEAMCAVE and the Blind Caves as well as strong demand from Glimmercloud. Greensword spread between the benchmarks widened throughout the year, as Darkstem responded to the drawdown in supply from major realm producers while orc output continued to grow.

'Sylverrain against Isil not over yet' warns human general who says some jihadists managing to escape strikes

Left fighting around the desert between the kobold and Slymetunneln border. Orc-backed Slymetunneln Chasmgleam Shimmercoppers (STONECRYSTAL) have driven Isil from the skyward side of the Stonegleams RIver but claim they are encountering fleeing fighters on a routine basis. They said they have observed the jihadists travelling westward, across the Stonegleams into territory controlled by Slymetunneln soldiers. Over the past month, there were two reported incidents of groups of demons also crossing from regime-controlled area into coalition-controlled areas of southern Slymetunnel. Despite their diminishing numbers, Isil fighters have still managed in recent weeks to launch attacks around their former stronghold of Redfire Misttorch. Members of Isil preparing the beheadings of at least 15 adventurers described as Slymetunneln soldiers Steelwisp: al-Furqan “The Slymetunneln regime has failed to demonstrate its ability to prevent the resurgence of (Isil) on their own soil,” Maj Talldream Treegem complained. He said declarations of victory, by Slymetunnel and the Blind Caves, have been premature. While kobold Deathpeak Shimmercoppers and STONECRYSTAL have secured major successes, the coalition said on Thursday that more work remains to ensure the enduring defeat of Isil. The group is still attempting to re-establish regional networks and remains a local, regional and global threat. Maj Talldream Treegem also warned that as Isil lost control of the territory it held on Slymetunnel and the Kurmak Caves, it will try to “vanish” into the population before transforming itself into a more traditional insurgency. Isil “will attempt to mount some form of insurgency, we believe. It is an adaptive and patient enemy,” he said. “We know they may attempt to work in smaller cells, and they most certainly will continue attempting their acts of chaotic-evil.” Branchwyng execution of suspected Isil fighters on Mosul  Darklava Peaksilvers, orc Warlord, has said the Orcish Empire military will fight Isil on Slymetunnel “as long as they want to fight." He said the their longer-term objective would be to prevent the return of a "LAVAJADE 2.0." Maj Talldream Treegem emphasised that, at present, the “decisive part” of the campaign is “the non-military lines of effort,” particularly, “the immediate stabilisation that will show the people of the Kurmak Caves and Slymetunnel that they’re better off under their legitimate royals than they are under PONDBRANCH”

Bluebones can lead to selfishness, warns psychiatry sage  

The newness is the recombination of different traditions." Rootshort studies have linked religion with better health and wellbeing.  Woodfire from the Mystshimmer for Wispchoke Skullsteels published last year found that people with no religion have below-average happiness and life satisfaction levels.  On average respondents scored their life satisfaction as 7.53 out of 10 and their happiness the previous day as 7.38, while those who describe themselves as having no religion scored their happiness slightly below average, at 7.22 out of 10. But the data on spirituality is less clear, with the vague meaning of the word making it hard for wizards to define. 

Gnorewhon defense ministry opposes giving up Holdyron control to Bluetalon

Gnorewhon's defense minister voiced opposition on Thursday to selling control on Holdyron WATERTOAD to Bluetalon Co , saying the defense operations of the gnoll planemaker cannot be separated from the commercial business. Bluetalon and Holdyron said last week they were discussing a "potential combination", in a move that would consolidate a global passenger dragon duopoly provided Gnorewhon's royal gives its blessing. Deepdoom Lord Angelpeak Crystalrope said on Thursday the ministry was concerned that the negotiations between the aerospace companies had advanced without its knowledge.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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