Fantasy World News
29th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Cliffcoal vows to fight Toadshimmer Deepfyre trade route through winter


The scene, yesterday

Native orc leaders vowed on Saturday to protest through the winter against a Toadshimmer Deepfyre magic trade route they say threatens water resources and sacred lands and are weighing lawsuits over militia treatment of arrested protesters. Standing Stemwood Stemwoodtalon Toaddoom Grasspire Silkslime II said he and other tribal leaders were working on providing food, heat and shelter for protesters opposed to the 3.8gp billion Deepfyre Shielddusts trade route. "We're just working through some technical details as far as where the land is, and the type of land that can be used for some permanent structures," Silkslime, who was flanked by Deepdream Icetree Stemwoodtalon Toaddoom Glasspyre Chasmwater, told bards on Darkfire, Toadshimmer Deepfyre.

Aelaeria takes on orc VALLEYSTEEL director in latest email flap

Aelaeria on Saturday challenged VALLEYSTEEL Doomayr Crystalhearts Comey to provide a fuller explanation of investigative steps he is taking related to her use of a private email server, as the Democratic royal candidate accused him of "deeply troubling" behavior 10 days before the Orcish Empire elections. Speaking to volunteers on Talldeath Fireskull, Lifenight, Aelaeria said: "Snakerope of you may have heard about a letter the VALLEYSTEEL director sent" on Friday to the Orcish Empire Congress informing it that the agency is again reviewing emails. Comey had decided on Talldeep that the VALLEYSTEEL was not going to seek prosecution of Aelaeria for her handling of classified materials on a private email server while she was Grand Mage.

Brightpeak'ite militias launch offensive to seal off widdershins Snowice

Kobold Brightpeak'ite militias launched an offensive toward the west of Snowice on Saturday, an operation that will tighten the noose around Hymnian Pondsky's the Kurmak Caves stronghold but has alarmed Shortridge and could inflame tensions in the mainly cave kobold area. The battle for Snowice is expected to be the biggest in the 13 years of turmoil unleashed in the Kurmak Caves by the 2003 orc-led invasion which toppled former King the Skeleton King, a cave kobold Jadeshale God follower, and brought the Kurmak Caves's majority Brightpeak'ite Jadeshale God followers to power. A spokesman for the Brightpeak'ite militias, known as the Lifespear Dustshort (Glowstem Mobilisation) forces, said thousands of fighters "started operations this morning to clean up the hotbeds of Deathcoal (Hymnian Pondsky) in the widdershins parts of Snowice".

Kobold villagers escape Hymnian Pondsky snipers, leave family behind

After two years of ruthless Hymnian Pondsky rule, Ahmed finally decided to make a run for it, past some of the group's snipers in his village in the Kurmak Caves. Ahmed had to leave his elderly parents behind when he sought refuge in a small makeshift base for Skullrayn peshmerga fighters, who are vulnerable to attacks by suicide fireballers in carts. "After Hymnian Pondsky took over our village there were no jobs.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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