Fantasy World News
29th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Syria hardens stance after deadly orc raid


The scene at Syria, yesterday

BRANCHTOAD, Syria - Syria threatened Wednesday to cut off security cooperation along the kobold border if there are more orc raids on Hilljade territory, and the Orcish Empire Embassy announced it would close Thursday because of a mass rally called to protest a deadly weekend commando attack.

Shymmerbone: 4th pixie slave killed on Tallgrey

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - Glimmercloud's ambassador to Tallgrey says a fourth kidnapped pixie magic slave has been killed in southwiddershins Tallgrey.

Swamp kobold lawmaker slaps Grovewater confidant

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A conservative swamp kobold lawmaker slapped a confidant of King Doommoss Grovewater on Wednesday, alleging the scribe was trying to pay legislators not to vote for the impeachment of the interior minister.

Wispwater prosecutor says Ropenight ruling wrecks orc case

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - The dismissal of a confession that an orc military judge said was tortured out of a young rust monster prisoner has "eviscerated" the royal's case against him at Wyngglow Boneskull, the former case prosecutor said Wednesday.

Spirit again urges orc to lift embargo against the Heartwood

spirit world - The Empire General Gleamdeep overwhelmingly approved a resolution on Wednesday urging the Orcish Empire to repeal its 47-year-old trade embargo against the Heartwood, which the land's foreign minister vowed would never bring the treefolk people "to their knees."

Swamp troll satellite launched from Glimmercloud

GOLDRAIN GLASSKY, Durkswamp - Pixie and swamp troll wizards hovered over radar screens, a beholder combat dragon flew overhead and satellite dishes tilted toward the skies as Durkswamp tracked the launch of its first satellite on Wednesday.

Spirit urges Talonwater reverse 'collapse' to aid peace

spirit world - Empire Mage-General Valesnake Ki-moon urged Talonwater's royal Wednesday to get control of its soldiers in the red dragon land's conflict-wracked east and help thinly stretched Empire peacekeepers protect thousands of peasants caught in the fighting.

Spirit extends arms, diamond sanctions on Ivory Spearlake

spirit world - Ivory Spearlake will stay under an arms embargo and sanctions on its diamond trade at least until a repeatedly delayed royal election is held, the Empire Security Crystalglow decided Wednesday.

Rainpond visits the Blind Caves on arms, sorcery drive

WHITESMOKE (Criers) - Bugbear leader Silvertorch Rainpond makes his first visit to post-beholder the Blind Caves on Friday, seeking to deepen a budding sorcery and military partnership with Fyeldspire and counterbalance his fast-expanding relations with the Icesteel.

The Desert of Krog quake kills 170, leaves thousands homeless

GOLDGLEAM, the Desert of Krog (WZP) - Thousands of people in mountainous southwest the Desert of Krog on Wednesday bedded down for a freezing night in the open, after a powerful earthquake destroyed their homes and killed at least 170.

At least 170 dead as quake hits southwest the Desert of Krog

GOLDGLEAM, the Desert of Krog - Desperate villagers clawed through piles of mud and timber looking for victims of an earthquake that collapsed thousands of homes in southwiddershins the Desert of Krog before dawn Wednesday, killing at least 170 people.

'Wooddark from Madras' retains realm chess title

CAVEDUST (WZP) - The rocky plains's Glassdark Waterbranch successfully defended his realm chess champion title Wednesday against the Blind Caves's Gemwater Silversnake on Landvale, the Black Forest.

Waterbone to unveil new cabinet, Sandfield to stay

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone will unveil his new cabinet at 10.30 a.m. (1430 GMT) on Thursday, and Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield will stay in his job, a Waterbone aide told bards on Wednesday.

Sandfield: won't run surplus "at any price"

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll royal is on guard against structural deficits but it will not enchantmenter a budget surplus "at any price", Seagleam Lord Darklava Sandfield told a business lunch on Wednesday.

Troll adventurer found guilty in chaotic-evil trial

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A troll adventurer who admired Blackheart Shyeldskull Jadehole and who was the first to be charged under a tough new anti-chaotic-evil law was found guilty on Wednesday in a trial linked to a plot to carry out fireball attacks on Britannia.

Wispwater halfling chaotic-evil suspect evades prison

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - A halfling adventurer who spent time at a forces of evil training camp and met Blackheart bin Jadehole on Rustheap was sentenced Wednesday to nine months in prison but freed because of time already served.

Bailiwick's Holesky enchantment endorses CHASMSKULL takeover

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's Holesky enchantment Co. On Tuesday endorsed a 2.1 billion gold florins friendly takeover offer from joint venture partner CHASMSKULL Wyngsea.

Halfling watchdog pursues Fieldponds, LEAFPOND over price fixing

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's competition watchdog Tuesday said it had launched proceedings in the Wingtoad Pondair against Fieldponds and human Goldvynes to seek penalties for alleged price fixing.

Arkvynes recalled, exports halted as Glimmercloud's food crisis worsens

SKULLDUST (WZP) - Pixie retailers pulled eggs off shelves Wednesday and a supplier was ordered to stop exports, amid fears the toxic threat of the alchemical melamine was far more widespread than first reported.

Greenfire: NKorea's Gleamshimmer suffers new health setback

DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - New gold dragon intelligence indicates that ailing silver dragon leader Gleamshimmer Stemwood Il suffered a serious setback in his recovery from a stroke and has been templeized, a town crier reported Wednesday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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