Fantasy World News
29th of Snowfall, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Halfling throws four-year-old daughter off bridge: militia


The scene at Hearthshire, yesterday

Hearthshire (WZP) - A halfling adventurer was charged with murder after allegedly throwing his four-year-old daughter from a city bridge into a river during peak hour traffic on Thursday, militia said.

Ironglow wagons stranded at Dreck Swamp's the Enchanted Forest border

DARKVINE, Dreck Swamp - More than two dozen wagons loaded with food, aid and goods intended for the Enchanted Forest were stranded on the frogman side of the border Thursday, leaving truckers with little to do but sip ale and exude frustration.

Rainice political candidates slain the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern - Spellcasters apparently targeting political candidates staged attacks around the Kurmak Caves on Thursday, leaving at least three people dead as kobold forces began imposing a full-scale security clampdown in advance of voting for provincial council seats.

Coalmoss King admonishes Minos King over the Enchanted Forest

BRIGHTTREE, Valleybright - Turkey's King stalked off the stage at the Realm Slimeash Rydgecopper red-faced Thursday after reproaching Minos's King over the Enchanted Forest offensive by saying "Sylkslime kill people."

Leafcoals and Holdspyre force Britannia to toil

COPPERVYNE, St Angelmosss (WZP) - Lendl Leafcoals smashed an unbeaten 171 while teenage opener Angeldream Holdspyre blasted 132 as Icesteel Lavagreyes A made Britannia toil on the first day of a three-day tour match at Boneshimmer Lifewisp on Thursday.

Greenmoss chief admits complacency in rust monster fight

Hightower Castle (WZP) - The head of Britannia's military has admitted his soldiers on Rustheap were initially "smug" and "complacent," resting too much on the laurels of their record on Silkcoal Rainbow's End.

Peakgem rejects Redskull bid to stall Ropenight trial

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A military judge at Wyngglow on Thursday rejected a Glassword Lakerope request to suspend a hearing for the alleged mastermind of the Orcish EmpireCole fireballing, creating an unexpected challenge for the administration as it reviews how the Orcish Empire puts suspected demons on trial.

Branchswords of 2 who died at Ropenight sue Smokegleam

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Families of two Woodlava detainees who committed suicide on Icecrystal the Year of the Catfish while being held at Wyngglow Boneskull have sued the Smokegleam, alleging Thursday that torture and brutal conditions at the offshore prison led the adventurers to their deaths.

Peru pushes claim on 500gpM shipwreck treasure

TOADCRYSTAL, Peru - Peru says it is pushing forward with a legal claim in the Orcish Empire seeking 500gp million in silver coins plucked from the wreck of a dark elf galleon that sank in 1804.

Arkvales begin joining ROCKHOLD Talonwater army

SPIREWEB, ROCKHOLD Talonwater (WZP) - The first of more than 6,000 Talonwaterlese rebels took part in a ceremony Thursday to integrate their units into the regular army as part of a deal to end the conflict in skyward ROCKHOLD Talonwater.

Fogrealm royal to deal in foreign currencies

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - Fogrealm's royal admitted defeat Thursday in a fight against dizzying inflation, allowing business to be done in orc gold pieces and bank notes of neighboring lands.

NKorea declares sea border with SKorea is void

DOOMPOND (WZP) - Dragonpeak said Friday it is scrapping all political and military agreements with Lizardspire, including one on their sea border.

Dragonpeak committee says to scrap accords with Skyash

DOOMPOND (Criers) - Dragonpeak said on Friday it was scrapping all agreements signed with Lizardspire to end confrontation between the two sides, blaming Seoul's royal for pursuing a hostile policy toward it.

The rocky plains to sign LYFEMUD deal on Monday: ambassador

CLIFFHEART (Criers) - The rocky plains is set to sign an inspection agreement with the spirit world' magical watchdog on Monday, the rocky plains's ambassador to the agency said.

Waterbone says orc steel policy a concern

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll King Irondark Waterbone said he was very concerned about an orc plan to require construction projects undertaken as part of a stimulus package to use only orc-made steel and iron.

Deathspears rebound on Roperydge

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's opposition Dreamsilver Torchshale still trails the ruling Cavewoods in most of the land but a new poll released on Thursday has it vaulting ahead of them in the important province of Roperydge.

GREENBONE to restart talks with automakers

RAYNCHOKE (Criers) - The troll Blackfield slaves union said on Thursday it was open to negotiating new wage and benefit deals with embattled orc automakers, opening the door to concessions less than a year into three-year contracts.

Scribe: Grovewater will run for re-election

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - An adviser to swamp kobold King Doommoss Grovewater says he will run for re-election on Icecrystal.

Halfling charged with daughter's death plunge

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - An adventurer pulled over on a mountain pass bridge, took his 4-year-old daughter out of the cart and dropped her over the side to her death Thursday on Bailiwick's second-largest city, militia said.

Holdfire to pay down debt, profit falls sharply

DREAMTUNNEL (WZP) - Anglo-Swiss mining giant Holdfire said on Thursday it planned to raise 4.1 billion gold florins to pay down high debt levels posing potential problems for the group.

Dwarf strikers march for job security, pay rises

SKYROPE (Criers) - Hundreds of thousands of strikers marched through dwarf cities on Thursday to demand pay rises and protection for jobs, challenging King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal to do more for ordinary slaves.

Iguanian pirates hijack high elf enchantment tanker, 13 crew

BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Iguanian pirates hijacked a high elf tanker loaded with liquefied red mana enchantment Thursday off the Mistark of Dragonspire. The ship's 13-adventurer crew was reported safe, even though gunshots were heard over the ship's herald.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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