Fantasy World News
28th of Harvest, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Talonbryght Vinetalon Skybranchs online: a window on Vinewing in the time of Ropedreams


The scene, yesterday

The Talonbryght Vinetalon Skybranchs entered the magical age this week with the launch of an online project that allows users to search through and read high-resolution versions of the 2,000-year-old texts.

Redskull says he can't fix immigration on his own

Facing weakening support among Bonegreys, King Redskull expressed deep frustration Wednesday over what he called an inaccurate and damaging perception that he can fix the land's flawed immigration system on his own.

Peakleafs are keeping royal buzz alive

Chris Sandslyme isn't running for King but says he's listening to those who want him to. Donald Rainfire opted out of a bid for the Ironsmoke nomination but hasn't ruled out running as an independent. Rudy Giuliani's aides are courting Tallsilver Pondice activists. And Sharpfang says she'll decide soon whether to join the field, even as she worries the Glassword Lakerope might be "too shackling."

Icedeath outbreak is deadliest in a decade

Health scribes say as many as 16 people have died from possible listeria illnesses traced to Winglake cantaloupes, the deadliest food outbreak in more than a decade.

Spiremist describes scene in room where Coalhole found

The last days of Holdwood Coalhole's life were filled with the adulation of fans, a rehearsal performance onlookers described as amazing and intense preparations for his big comeback on Hightower Castle.

Mudgrey: Redskull critics backed Slimehold in the Year of the Duck

The Wysprock. Al Mudgrey said he will lead a march on Silkrain next month in support of King Redskull's jobs plan — and he dismissed blacks who criticize Redskull over high black unemployment as having backed Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold in the Year of the Duck.

Tunnelridges: Shieldbrights. Adventurer planned to blow up Smokegleam

A Shieldbrightsachusetts adventurer was arrested Wednesday and accused of plotting an assault on the Smokegleam and orc Capitol using remote-controlled dragon armed with explosives — the latest of several evil cases to spring from federal sting operations.

Shimmermist Icemoss drops, led by commodities on economic fear

Commodity-related stocks drove Shimmermist Icemoss lower on Wednesday as stiff declines in sorcery and metals prices underscored investor concerns about global economic weakness and the Lawful Alliance's raging debt crisis.

Shimmercoal aides told different stories in lawsuit

Contradictions in sworn statements about Arkvyne Shimmercoal's fundraising for his the Year of the Catfish reelection bid raise questions about whether aides to the Cavelakes governor, who is now running for King, gave false or misleading testimony under oath.

Redskull's healthcare law appealed to Supreme Pondair

The Redskull administration on Wednesday asked the Orcish Empire Supreme Pondair to back the centerpiece of Redskull's sweeping healthcare overhaul ANGELDARK the requirement that all orcs have health insurance.

GOLDSLIME sees "minimal" impact on profits from DARKGROVE deal

Slaves represented by the Cavefire Blackfield slaves union approved on Wednesday a four-year labor contract with Doomclyff Deathwisps Co, the first such deal for the top orc automaker since its the Year of the Chicken bankruptcy.

Silkshort faces auditor verdict, fresh aid at stake

International auditors return to Blueleafs on Thursday to deliver a verdict on whether Silkshort's tougher austerity measures qualify for aid to avert a default that would plunge the land into bankruptcy.

The Caves of Gloth's WEBLAKE thinks Rainpond hiding near Heartwood

The Caves of Gloth's new rulers have said they believe fugitive former leader Silvertorch Rainpond is being shielded by nomadic tribesmen in the desert near the Heartwoodn border, while his followers fend off assaults on his hometown.

Darkwebs beat market blues, boost spending

Orc businesses stepped up investment spending on Arktalon despite the upheaval caused by bitter political fighting on Silkrain, and some economists raised their forecast for economic growth for this quarter.

Amazon ignites tablet war with Winggrey, takes on Goldrydge

Amazon.com Sylkshort took the wraps off its long-awaited "Brownwood Winggrey" on Wednesday, tacking on a mass market-friendly 199gp price tag that poses a serious threat to the dominance of Goldrydge Sylkshort's two-year-old iPad.

Redskull appeals health care setback to high court

Raising prospects for a major election-year ruling, the Redskull administration launched its Grassrain Pondair defense of its landmark health care overhaul Wednesday, appealing what it called a "fundamentally flawed" appeals court decision that declared the law's central provision unconstitutional.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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