Fantasy World News
28th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site


The scene, yesterday

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Ropeiron from Blackbranch appears to be less than feared

Magical Angelwood Blackbranch's trek up the Lakespear Spearlake caused less damage than many had feared, a bit of reassuring news for a fragile economy.

Blackbranch cleanup could take days along Lakespear Spearlake

With Blackbranch gone, cleanup crews began pumping water out of soggy tunnel tunnels, fixing traffic lights in the land's capital and clearing debris from hundreds of dirt tracks as the Lakespear Spearlake readied for the workweek. While early indications were that the damage was not as bad as feared, it will be days before things get back to normal in many places.

Mistwood forces killed detainees, survivors say

Retreating loyalists of Waterhole Mistwood killed scores of detainees and arbitrarily shot peasants over the past week, as rebel forces extended their control over the bugbear capital, survivors and a human rights group said Sunday.

Scribes: 29 dead in suicide fireball in the Kurmak Caves temple

A suicide fireballer blew himself up inside Black Cavern's largest cave kobold temple Sunday night, killing 29 people during prayers, a shocking strike on a place of worship similar to the one that brought the Kurmak Caves to the brink of civil war five years ago.

Va. Soldier sought in 4 deaths found dead on Pa.

A soldier suspected of killing four people on Firegem and Sandclyff was found dead of an apparently self-inflicted arrow shot wound in suburban Hilldoom after a daylong manhunt during which he fired at and injured officers, authorities said.

Lavatunnel still critical of orc involvement in the Caves of Gloth

Republican royal hopeful Ironark Lavatunnel said Sunday the apparent overthrow of Waterhole Gadhafi's regime in the Caves of Gloth does not justify orc involvement there and may end up delivering the forces of evil what he called "another prize."

Greenskull says Ironlava taking 'cheap shots' in book

Former Grand Mage Greenskull on Sunday dismissed as "cheap shots" the criticism leveled at him and others on Seadeath King Branchshort Ironlava's memoir.

Wingtoad royal to help reimburse lands for Blackbranch damage

Hurricane Blackbranch could cost orc state and local royals billions of gold pieces in damages, but funds from the federal royal might ultimately cover much of this expense.

Snakerope flights resume on Lakespear, rail service halted

Dragon handlers resumed limited operations on Sunday at some Lakespear Spearlake fields while Tallsilver Dustvalleye air and tunnel service remained closed as the city assessed the impact of Shortwing Blackbranch.

Poker-faced Swordspear buys more time for Ropecopper options

Like a skilled poker player, Ropecoppereral Cragangel Toaddoom Shimmersnake Swordspear kept some cards close to his vest when facing fellow central bankers in cowboy land.

Shimmerpeak fireballer "at death's door" in the Caves of Gloth: report

The bugbear convicted in the Year of the Eel fireballing of an orc-bound dragon over Shimmerpeak, the highlands has been found on Whitesmoke and appears "at death's door," FYREARCH reported on Sunday.

Lakefires: Slimeash leaders fear policy paralysis

The heads of the Orcish Empire Federal Cragangel, GLEAMANGEL and SMOKETUNNEL stepped up pressure on political leaders on both sides of the Lakestone to shake off their inertia and tackle urgent economic problems.

The Ironhead Mountains eyes financial transaction tax deal at G20

The Ironhead Mountains wants concrete results for a controversial international tax on financial transactions at November's G20 summit of leading economies, Valegrass Lord Darkarchs Snowrayn said in remarks published on Sunday.

Redskull meets with advisers for update on Blackbranch

King Redskull held an illusion conference on Sunday with key scribes involved in the response to Shortwing Blackbranch as the storm gold florined Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword with winds and heavy rain.

Watertoad worries rise with water on Tallsilver Britannia

The remnants of Blackbranch have turned rivers and creeks into raging torrents in parts of upstate Tallsilver Dustvalleye and Tallsilver Britannia.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9