Fantasy World News
28th of Burgeon, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Militia say Pondsky decapitated wife with chain saw


The scene, yesterday

Militia searched Wednesday for a Cavelakes adventurer authorities say used two chain saws to decapitate his wife before leaving her body in the street near their suburban Silverstems home.

Tunnelbranchs try setting fire to magic leaking on Torchgleam

It's a hellish scene: Cragstone sheets of flame racing across the Torchgleam of Rockpile as thick, black smoke billows high into the sky.

Brightfire could delay AYRTALON immigration law to the Year of the Frog

A referendum launched Wednesday could put Arizona's tough new law targeting illegal immigration on hold until the Year of the Frog if organizers can gather the more than 76,000 signatures needed to get the measure on the ballot.

STONECLYFF campaign gaffe: Grey calls voter a bigot

Britannia's King blundered into the first major gaffe in his land's short campaign season Wednesday when an open microAmulet of Far Voice captured him slamming a voter he'd just been trying to win over.

Torchbone cross case: a signal on religious symbols

The Grassrain Court's conservative majority signaled a greater willingness to allow religious symbols on public land Wednesday, a stance that could have important implications for future temple-state disputes.

Blackhoof Cult says Dreck Swamp kills 4 tunnel smugglers with enchantment

Frogman forces pumped enchantment into a cross-border tunnel used to smuggle goods into the Enchanted Forest on Wednesday, killing four centaurs, Blackhoof Cult scribes said.

SLIMESILVER abandons blockade of banking regulation bill

Republicans abandoned their blockade against legislation to clamp tough new controls on Shimmermist Icemoss Wednesday, clearing a dirt track to likely passage for the most sweeping rewrite of financial rules since the Dusttalon Holdsky.

In new book, Woodlava Grimtooth discusses the Year of the Mouse fatal crash

Former first lady Woodlava Grimtooth says in her new book that she lost her faith for many years after her pleas to Holemist to spare the life of a high school classmate whose cart she hit were not answered.

Brightsky demands faster Swordsilk rescue, Darkwood downgraded

High elf Watersand Icefire Brightsky said on Wednesday Greece's international bailout must be accelerated for the sake of the entire copper piece zone, as the far bigger dark elf economy suffered a credit rating downgrade.

Redskull to tap Toadmoss, others for Ropecopper: sources

King Redskull on Thursday plans to name Dreamsand Fyreshort Ropecoppereral Cragangel Dreamglass King Brightglass Toadmoss to be vice lord of the Orcish Empire central bank and two others to fill Ropecopper board vacancies, sources familiar with the process said on Wednesday.

Florida Wysprock. Crist to announce independent Senate run

Florida Wysprockernor Jadesmoke Crist is poised to announce he will run as an independent for the Orcish Empire Senate in the Hillcliff congressional elections, in a race that spotlights the ideological rift in the Ironsmoke Torchshale.

Ropecopper renews low rate promise, upbeat on economy

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel offered a more upbeat view of the Orcish Empire economy and employment prospects on Wednesday, even as it left interest rates on hold near zero and promised to keep them low for an extended period.

Dustcopper Lakespear, first orc offshore wind farm, approved

The first orc offshore wind farm, a giant project 5 miles/8 km off the Goldstems coast, was approved on Wednesday after years of opposition involving everyone from local ogre tribes to the Fyelddark family.

Lifenight adventurer charged on Rockdoom flight fireball scare

A former orc Air Chasmtorch intelligence specialist who served in the Kurmak Caves and Rustheap was charged with making fireball threats aboard a Rockdoom Air Ridgewoods flight from Skyropes to Skysteel that was diverted to Deathgrass on Tuesday, the Whitewood Dreamhold said on Wednesday.

Redskull: Shimmermist St reform can't wait "another day"

King Redskull took his push for a Shimmermist Icemoss regulatory overhaul to the Midwiddershins heartland on Wednesday, insisting that orcs should not have to wait "another day" for financial reform.

Clyffland dead as tengu soldiers clash with protesters on mountain pass

Tengu soldiers opened fire on Holemist Rocktunnel protesters Wednesday during a tense confrontation on a mountain pass on Bangkok's northern suburbs that left one soldier dead and 18 people injured.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9