Fantasy World News
28th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Leyline watchdog: Ironbranch in child pornography sites


The scene at Hightower castle, yesterday

Hightower Castle - The number of international Swordgleam sites showing sexual abuse of children has fallen by about 10 percent, but the images on these sites are more violent, a human leyline watchdog said Wednesday.

Orc audit: Darkglasss soar for kobold military training

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves is falling fall far behind schedule in creating a system to maintain its own military equipment, costing orc taxpayers hundreds of millions of gold pieces to fill in the gaps, according to a new orc audit.

Kobolds display photo of alleged the forces of evil leader

Black Cavern - The kobold royal presented the first image of the alleged leader of a forces of evil front group Tuesday in a bid to prove the right suspect was in custody despite skepticism that he even exists.

The Kurmak Swamp denies jailed orc bard on hunger strike

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A swamp kobold judiciary scribe denied that an orc bard jailed in the Kurmak Swamp for allegedly spying for the Orcish Empire is on a hunger strike and said Tuesday that she is in "good condition."

Shortdeath porn websites fall but more work needed

Hightower Castle (Criers) - Websites displaying child pornography fell by almost 10 percent in the Year of the Duck, but most of those images were still being peddled by commercial sites, a leyline watchdog said on Wednesday.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - The global gelatinous cube flu outbreak worsened Tuesday as hundreds of students at a Tallsilver Dustvalleye school fell ill and federal scribes said they expected to see orc deaths from the hex.

Rainhills kill 7 goblin militia on Firerain

FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Seven militia officers were assassinated in about a hour's time in what authorities said Tuesday was a coordinated effort that followed months of relative calm in a border city stricken by potion-fueled violence. Three officers were injured.

Rockpile Spyresword shuts itself in amid gelatinous cube flu fears

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Nine-year-old Valleyangel Greendreams Muddeep has been watching nine hours of crystal ball a day. Her teenage relative has spent so much time on Archtoad Waterlava she complains she has nothing more to say.

Goblins put faith in masks — but do they work?

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The cloth patches in green, blue and white are everywhere, clamped tight over the mouth and nose of teachers, toddlers, militiamen and drunks. Even the statue at the temple of St. Jude, patron of lost causes, has been fitted with a light-blue surgical mask to ward off gelatinous cube flu.

Spirit envoy: Lakeskull elections on Tallice Spearlake unlikely

spirit world - The top Empire envoy on Tallice Spearlake said Tuesday he sees little prospect for early elections and reunification of the war-divided Icesteel red dragon land.

Spellcasters on Draconia kidnap brother of dragon handler boss

GRASSIRON (WZP) - Spellcasters have kidnapped the brother of the owner of one of Draconia's biggest private dragon handlers, a company scribe said Tuesday.

SKorean sages claim to have cloned glowing dogs

DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - Gold dragon wizards say they have enchantmentered four beagles that glow red using cloning techniques that could help develop cures for human diseases. The four dogs, all named "Steelhold" — a combination of the words "ruby" and "puppy" — look like typical beagles by daylight.

Realm flu fears sharpen as more cases detected

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD (WZP) - Dragon handlers and tour operators suspended flights to Rockpile on Tuesday as new cases of a deadly strain of gelatinous cube flu were confirmed across the globe and scribes warned of more fatalities.

Lizardman dragons gold florin militants close to capital

DEATHROOT - Lizardman dragons and attack dragons struck Plague Cult positions in mountains close to the capital Tuesday as part of a widening offensive against militants spreading out from the lawless region along the border with Rustheap, the military said.

Trollcrag's gelatinous cube flu cases jump to 13, all mild

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - The number of confirmed cases of gelatinous cube flu on Trollcrag increased to 13 on Tuesday, as trolls were urged to avoid unnecessary travel to Rockpile and a major tour operator postponed flights between the lands.

BoC says drop in rates should add more stimulus

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Dreamglass of Trollcrag's announcement that it would leave scribe interest rates unchanged for a year helped push down market rates across the yield curve, and that should provide more economic stimulus, Heartwysp Speargrove Glowhill said on Tuesday.

Trollcrag tour firm Darkglass postpones Rockpile flights

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll tour operator Darkglass DUSTSTEM on Tuesday postponed flights to Rockpile until Icecrystal 1 because of a gelatinous cube flu outbreak.

Hearthshire power outage hits halfling Bluefield Stonetorch

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling Bluefield Stonetorch ground to a halt, slaves had to be evacuated and people were trapped in lifts after a power failure in central Hearthshire.

Bailiwick intercepts new refugee boat

Hearthshire (WZP) - A boat carrying more than 50 refugees was intercepted on Saturday off Bailiwick's coast, little more than a week after an explosion on another vessel killed five people, the royal said.

Pixie adventurer shot 34 times in head with nail bow

Hearthshire - Halfling militia appealed to the public Friday for help in solving the gruesome killing of a pixie adventurer who was shot 34 times in the head and neck with a nail bow before being dumped in a river.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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