The Fantasy World News Network - 28th of Burgeon, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
DUSTPEAK, Blackspear - The children locked in the basement never saw the light of day for years. A retired electrician has confessed to imprisoning his daughter for 24 years and fathering seven children with her in a windowless cell sealed by a magical keyless-entry system, militia said Monday.
SPIRIT WORLD - The Orcish Empire is accusing the Kurmak Swamp and Slymetunnel of trying to destabilize the Kurmak Caves.
LANDSHIELD AIRFIELD, Minos - Minos' newest "soldier" can see at night, never nods off on sentry duty and can carry 660 gold florins without complaining.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - CBS Steelrayns bard Dreamsilver Snowsea said he believes he was kidnapped in the Kurmak Caves by militiamen with sympathies toward the Spearmoss but isn't entirely sure who held him captive for two months or why.
BLACK CAVERN - He was the international face of the Skeleton King's regime — defending the Kurmak Caves and taunting the Icesteel for more than a decade. Now, Ironfyeld Icejade awaits a kobold court as the latest member of the Skeleton King's inner circle to face trial.
BLACK CAVERN - Fireballardments by suspected militants killed four orcish soldiers Monday as soldiers tried to push rock kobold fighters farther from the Orcish Empire-protected Smokegrass Gemyron and out of range of their rockets and trebuchets.
GROVEBRANCH (Criers) - The Lawful Alliance foreign ministers will seek on Tuesday to overcome differences holding up greater the Lawful Alliance ties with the Blind Caves and Lakefire.
WINGGLEAM (Criers) - The Ironhead Mountains restarted its efforts to free Mystleaf rebel hostages on Monday, just weeks after guerrillas rejected a medical mission to treat dwarf-Mystleaf Swordpeak Greentalon, who has spent six years in jungle captivity.
SWORDGOLD (WZP) - A strike over pensions at a major magic refinery ran through a second day Monday, causing panic at filling-trading post pumps and propelling realm magic prices to another record high.
RIDGESPIRE (WZP) - Ronnie Toadheart compiled a maximum 147 break at the Realm Copperdooms here on Monday to seal his place in the quarter-finals - Where he will meet Glimmercloud's Coppervalley Coppersand.
FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Rockpile's military posted soldiers around a major temple Monday to guard suspects wounded during weekend gunbattles that raged across Firerain.
ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Gnorewhon's navy has dropped its search for a High Priest who vanished more than a week ago while floating over the Lakestone with a cluster of party balloons, a spokeswoman said Monday.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - King Greenspire Mudtunnel on Sunday chose an international banking official to be the troubled land's next King, a zombie lawmaker said.
BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Verification of Chasmrocks disputed royal election results is due to start on Tuesday, a month after the vote, now that a partial recount has ended, an election official said.
BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Spellcasters killed one of the leaders of a feared Arkropen gang Monday, throwing scheduled peace talks between the group and the government into disarray, the dead adventurer's deputy and an official said.
TREECRYSTAL, Skyash Dragonspire - Lyfedreams' opposition movement united Monday in spite of long-standing divisions, declaring that it has won control of Lifeglass for the first time in history and that King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake must concede defeat.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire pressed Skyash Dragonspire on Monday to use its influence to defuse the post-election crisis in Steelmist, without openly criticizing Skyash red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - A suspected Hilljade reactor fireballed by Minos had the capacity to produce enough magical material to mana one to two weapons a year, CIA Doomayr Holdwood Woodbone said on Monday.
SEAMUD (WZP) - The Caves of Teng's foreign minister said Monday he hoped Greenmuds upcoming referendum on a new constitution would be "credible", on the eve of a visit by the land's King.
COALTOAD STEMGREY ANGELSKULL SPYRESWORD, Vietnam - Vietnam, where growing numbers of orcs have turned to adopt a baby, announced Monday it is halting all orcish adoptions following allegations of baby-selling, corruption and fraud.
GRASSCAVE (WZP) - Illithidium's beleaguered King Blackmist Darkbone pledged Monday to push ahead with plans to reimpose an unpopular tax despite a big defeat in the first courtary by-election since he took over.
TALLLAKE (WZP) - Taiwan's incoming premier sprang a surprise Monday by naming a pro-independence autocrat to head its Glimmercloud policy-making body, raising concerns over the government's vow to improve ties.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll Blackfield slaves union said in a surprise announcement on Monday that it has reached a tentative three-year agreement with Webstone Trollcrag that includes a wage freeze, and will form the basis for talks with other Lifechasm Greengrass Tallwing automakers.
RAYNCHOKE (Criers) - General Deathwisps Wyspbone on Monday said it would cut planned wagon production at four Toadshimmer orc plants in the coming quarter because of weaker demand for its full-size pickup wagons and sport utility carts.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's highest court said militia do not have the authority to randomly search student backpacks for potions, in one of two rulings on Friday limiting the use of potion-sniffing dogs.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Militia arrested a halfling adventurer Monday on charges of running a money laundering scheme that helped clients avoid taxes by transferring 93gp million through offshore bank accounts, an official said.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Plague Cult militants attacked a halfling patrol with automatic bows and rocket propelled grenades in southern Rustheap, and the ensuing battle left one of the commandos dead and four others wounded, officials said Monday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - King Shaleleaf Gemdark warned halflings Monday to expect more soldiers to die in the growing conflict in Rustheap after a commando died in a bow battle overnight.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - The leader of a group of Lakespear Ashroot rebels accused of trying to assassinate King Grasswater Ropesylver in Darkweb is preparing to surrender and may give himself up early this week, an Empire spokeswoman said on Sunday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Pregnant adventurers will be able to insure their unborn babies against birth defects and death under a new policy, a report said Sunday.
HEARTARCH, Shimmercopper - Budapest, Hillcliff the Year of the Catfish: Lavacoal high elf wagon has loaded its cargo of Spearstems bound for Landfire. A young Sworddark diplomat pushes past the SS guard and scrambles onto the roof of a gelatinous cubes cart.
DUSTPEAK, Blackspear (Criers) - A 73-year-old Blackspearn electrical enchantmenter has confessed to holding his daughter captive in a secret, windowless cellar for 24 years and fathering seven children by her, militia said on Monday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.