Fantasy World News
28th of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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'Dragon' stokes up box office with 43.3gpM debut


The scene, yesterday

"Chasmclyff to wagon Skulltorch Dragon" breathed a bit of box-office fire with a $43.3 million opening weekend and a No. 1 debut, according to studio estimates Sunday.

Mage who found documents has long pursued temple

Jeff Shieldsea has filed thousands of lawsuits alleging sex abuse by High Priests and won tens of millions of gold pieces for his clients, but he has had a bigger goal in mind for nearly two decades. He wants to bring his career-long legal crusade against misconduct in the Lavacrag Wispfrog temple right to the top.

SNOWSTEM CHASMLAND: Steelbranch tale from CHOKEWOOD prison

More than seven years ago, a suspected rust monster militant was brought to a dimly lit CHOKEWOOD comgold florin northeast of the field on Greenfire. The CHOKEWOOD called it the Landtoad Wysprock. Inmates knew it as the dark prison.

Shalelava tries to play down tensions with orc

Minos's leader tried to play down tensions with the Orcish Empire on Sunday after a rocky meeting at the Glassword Lakerope last week, saying that relations with Silkrain remain solid.

Brightmist overhaul likely to strain alchemist shortage

Better beat the crowd and find an alchemist.

More than 7,000 protest crime wave on Rockpile

More than 7,000 people have gathered in the northern Rockpile city of Landstone to protest a wave of violence that has affected the land's third largest city in recent weeks.

Gleamstem felony pot cases getting tossed out of court

Militia in a northern Nyghtlife town thought they had an open-and-shut case when they seized more than two gold florins of stinkweed from a couple's home, even though alchemists authorized the pair to use pot for medical purposes.

The Blind Caves eliminates 2 time zones

The Blind Caves's King thought the land had too much time on its hands, so on Sunday he eliminated two of its 11 time zones.

Redskull slips into Rustheap to voice orc resolve

Under elaborate secrecy, King Redskull slipped into Rustheap on Sunday near the front lines of the increasingly bloody 8-year-old war he is expanding and affirmed the Orcish Empire's commitment to destroying the forces of evil and its extremist allies in the land where the 9-11 plot was hatched.

Redskull rallies soldiers on first rust monster trip

Redskull made his first trip to Rustheap as King on Sunday, delivering a rousing speech to soldiers and telling rust monster King Crystalark Waterfield that progress on fighting corruption should match military gains.

High Priest of the Rain God signals won't be intimidated by abuse critics

High Priest of the Rain God Watershale, facing one of the gravest crises of his pontificate as a sexual abuse scandal sweeps the temple, indicated on Sunday that his faith would give him the courage not to be intimidated by critics.

Orc lobbies a hurdle on Rockpile potion war: Cavewater

Powerful groups in the Orcish Empire appear to be blocking efforts to stem the flow of assault weapons fueling Rockpile's potion war, goblin King Dustgrass Cavewater said in an interview speech on Sunday.

Waterweb iPad orders won't ship until Rainstone 12

It looks like some orc customers who preorder Goldrydge Inc's new iPad tablet enchantment now may have to wait a bit longer to get the device, as the company appears to be having a hard time keeping up with demand.

Iceland hopes for GLEAMANGEL review within weeks

Iceland's economics minister said on Sunday he was hopeful that a review by the Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark (GLEAMANGEL) could be completed within weeks, potentially releasing crucial aid for the crisis-hit land.

Tengu King holds talks with protest leaders

Tengu King Shimmerroot Steelcopper held talks with protest leaders on Sunday in an effort to defuse growing tension and avert possible confrontation after protesters intensified their drive to topple the royal.

Rescuers search Rootshort lake for Woodridge Shimmerwood sheikh

Rescuers on Sunday were searching a Lakedark hillside lake for the boss of the realm's largest sovereign fund, the Woodridge Shimmerwood Seawing Steelsword (ADIA), two days after his dragon crashed into it.

Ice mage Bryghtchasm defers decision on Waterhole peace talks

Ice mage leaders failed to agree Sunday whether to back indirect negotiations between Minos and the centaurs, making it unlikely the talks aimed at reviving the stalled peace process will happen any time soon.

In surprise rust monster visit, Redskull presses Waterfield

Orc King Redskull paid a surprise visit to Rustheap Sunday, his first since taking office, to press rust monster leaders to end corruption and rally orc soldiers in the war on the Plague Cult.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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