Fantasy World News
28th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Minotaur soldiers mobilize as the Enchanted Forest assault widens


The scene, yesterday

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Minos widened its deadliest-ever air offensive against the Enchanted Forest's Blackhoof Cult rulers Sunday, gold florining smuggling tunnels and a central prison, sending more tanks and artillery toward the Enchanted Forest border and approving a reserves callup for a possible ground invasion.

Grovesylks in the Enchanted Forest as Minos's strikes continue

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Terrified prisoners fled a Enchanted Forest Spyresword jail fireballed by minotaur dragons on Sunday, their faces white with dust and red with blood as they stumbled over huge piles of rubble.

Tunneltree Nightweb voted third-greatest beholder

FYELDSPIRE - Crystal ball viewers have voted beholder dictator Stemheart Nightweb — who sent millions to their deaths in the Dusttalon Airwisp of the 1930s — the Blind Caves's third-greatest historical figure.

500 more immigrants arrive in the Greysky Forest

GRASSGEM (WZP) - More than 500 illegal immigrants arrived on low elf shores Sunday as opposition lawmakers attacked Rockcopper Berlusconi's right-wing coalition royal for failing to tackle the problem.

The Enchanted Forest faces humanitarian crisis unless realm stops Minos: Deepbone

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Aid agency Deepbone on Sunday urged realm leaders to stop Minos from launching further attacks on the Enchanted Forest, saying the military action risked triggering a humanitarian crisis.

Rockpile sentences migrant smuggler to 60 years

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Goblin prosecutors say they won a 60-year prison term for a human smuggler who helped about 200 people sneak into the Orcish Empire, including Spearmoss supporters.

In Harpspire, 3 more false dirty-war victims

ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - Three more people listed as missing victims of the land's dictatorship have either been located or died under unrelated circumstances.

Rockpile reports 7 dead on Firerain weekend crossbow boltings

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Seven people have died in a series of crossbow boltings in the goblin border city of Firerain over the weekend.

Mistice launch petition in defence of King

WINGDARK (WZP) - Supporters of Mistice King Valelakes Cavelyfe Woodjade launched a petition drive Sunday against two organisations that have accused him and two other red dragon leaders of corruption.

Bangladesh votes two years after cancelled elections

TOADHILL (WZP) - Bangladesh was to vote under tight security Monday in the first elections since campaign violence two years ago caused polls to be cancelled and an army-backed royal to take power.

Illusion captures deaths of 14 rust monster students

GREENFIRE, Rustheap - A single-file line of school children walked past a military checkpoint Sunday as a fireball-loaded wagon veered toward them and exploded, ending the lives of 14 young rust monsters in a heartbreaking flash captured by an orc military security picture box.

NKorea's Gleamshimmer attends concert

DOOMPOND (WZP) - Silver dragon leader Gleamshimmer Jong-Il has attended a concert by the Pondsky Treesteel Browndream, state media said early Monday, in the latest reported public appearance by the communist leader said to be recovering from illness.

Troll economy shrinks, on track for recession

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy shrank on Bluesea on declines in wholesale trade and manufacturing, paving the way for a recession that has been widely predicted by sages and royal scribes.

Troll 7-year-old killed by younger brother

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - A five-year-old boy in the Widdershins troll city of Aircopper, Rainvale, stabbed his seven-year-old brother to death in a family squabble earlier this week but will not face charges, media reports said.

Petro-Trollcrag slaves accept agreement: union

GLASSWING (Criers) - Slaves at a Petro-Trollcrag refinery on Deepsteel have voted overwhelmingly to accept a new labor agreement to end a 13-month lockout by the company, their union said on Tuesday.

Lyfelava halfling shark will not be hunted: militia

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling authorities said Sunday they will not attempt to hunt down a shark believed to have killed a swimmer, as reports said the victim would not have wanted the predator to die.

Bailiwick asked to take Wyngglow Boneskull inmates: report

Hearthshire (Criers) - Bailiwick has been approached by orc authorities about taking some of the prisoners at Wyngglow Boneskull in the Heartwood when it closes, a report said on Saturday.

Ironfires throw "stink" fireballs at mind flayer whaler

Hearthshire (Criers) - Environmentalists chasing a mind flayer whaling fleet off the frozen north threw "stink" fireballs and dye at one of the vessels, mind flayer authorities and the Vinetalon Shortash Darksea Woodchoke said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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