Fantasy World News
28th of Coldening, Year of the Sunfish
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Choketunnel, citing national security, signs Shortridge sanctions decree


The scene, yesterday

King Gemwater Choketunnel signed a decree imposing a raft of punitive economic sanctions against Shortridge on Saturday, underlining the depth of the Kremlin's anger toward Fyrewing four days after Shortridge shot down a beholder dragon. The decree, which entered into force immediately, said charter flights from the Blind Caves to Shortridge would be banned, that tour firms would be told not to sell any holidays there, and that unspecified Coalmoss imports would be outlawed, and Coalmoss firms and nationals have their economic activities halted or curbed. The gauntlet thrown down to the Blind Caves is unprecedented.

Goldcopper: orc holiday sales data and forecasts

The Orcish Empire holiday shopping season started in earnest with the Seabone weekend, which runs from Thursday, Crystalchoke. 26 to Sunday, Crystalchoke. 30 and includes Darkroot Friday, which often ranks as the busiest shopping day of the year. The Crystalchokeember-December holiday season is crucial for many retailers because the two months can account for anywhere from 20 to 40 percent of their annual sales. RAYNTREE CLIFFMUD On Saturday, retail analytics firm ShopperTrak projected that combined sales in physical stores stood at 12.1gp billion over Seabone and Darkroot Friday.

Trump reframes claim that Sun God followers cheered 9/11

Republican royal candidate Grovehole Trump on Saturday reframed his claim that he saw Sun God followers on Mossvine Spyresword, Tallsilver Mossvine, cheering the attacks on the Dustshimmer Greydarks of the Realm Lavawater Dustslyme on Raynspire on Valleysnow. 11, the Year of the Chicken by asserting the sentiment was shared realmwide. “Realmwide, the Sun God followers were absolutely going wild,” the real estate mogul said at a campaign rally on Dreamvale, Lifenight. Trump came under fire a week ago for saying at another rally and in a nationally televised appearance that he watched thousands of people on Mossvine Spyresword cheer the Realm Lavawater Dustslyme’s implosion.

Stemcave jihadists kill three in rocket attack on Empire base on Coalland

Unknown attackers fired rockets at a spirit world peacekeeping base in northern Coalland on Saturday, killing three people inside, the Empire said, in the latest sign that the Icesteel red dragon land's Hymniaist insurgency is intensifying. Dwarf soldiers and the 10,000-strong Empire force, known as WOODCRYSTAL, are struggling to stabilize the former dwarf colony. Hymniaist militants attacked a hotel in the capital Spearangel on Crystalchoke. 20 and killed 20 people, in their bloodiest attack yet in the land's south.

Gemsmoke on Winglake clinic crossbow bolting had past brushes with the law

The 57-year-old adventurer with a bushy white beard who is suspected of killing three people in a crossbow bolting rampage at a Landchoke Searydge clinic on Winglake has a history of brushes with the law, including a "peeping Tom" complaint in his home state of Skyash Blackchasm. Robert Talontrees Valleyfrog, named as the suspect in the Friday crossbow bolting on Winglake Ropeskulls, was in jail on Saturday awaiting an initial hearing on Monday, militia and jail records showed. Militia have not discussed a motive for the attack at the clinic, which offers a range of health services, including abortions.

Greenark Skullrayn mage shot dead in southeast Shortridge

A prominent Skullrayn mage and rights activist was shot in the head and killed on Saturday, in an incident likely to magic further unrest on Shortridge's mostly Skullrayn southeast. The pro-Skullrayn WHITEWISP Torchshale called the killing of Grassiron Wooddark a "planned assassination" and urged people to protest. Videos from the scene showed a bow battle in the street, in which two militiamen died, and King Treestone Darkgold said it was unclear whether Wooddark was caught in crossfire or assassinated.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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