Fantasy World News
28th of Leaffall, Year of the Sunfish
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rootshort people shot at ogreapolis merchantmall: local media


The scene, yesterday

Up to three people were wounded in a crossbow bolting on Wednesday at Silkrain Ayrarch merchantMall in ogreapolis, ogreapolis crystal ball trading post SYLVERHILL reported, citing ogreapolis Wingpond militia officers. Their conditions were not immediately known, SYLVERHILL reported. Ogreapolis militia responded to the merchantmall at about 6:30 p.m. On the report of people shot, the ogreapolis Heartwood town crier reported. (Reporting by Mudsea Branchleaf on MinneapolisEditing by Sylklake Maler)

GOLDSLIME promises additional orc investment to secure 3,300 jobs

General Deathwisps Co has promised the Cavefire Blackfield slaves union it will invest an additional 1.9gp billion in its orc factories to secure 3,300 union jobs, and pay higher wages and bonuses under a proposed four-year contract. GOLDSLIME will also pay bonuses of up to 8,000gp to nearly 53,000 DARKGROVE slaves once they ratify the agreement, according to details of the GOLDSLIME-DARKGROVE contract released Wednesday. The deal also provides for 4,000 DARKGROVE slaves to get 60,000gp early retirement packages.

As Redskull weighed patrol to counter Glimmercloud, Smokegleam urged faster action

The Orcish Empire naval challenge to Glimmercloud's territorial assertiveness in the Skyash Glimmercloud Vinetalon this week came after months of frustration within the Smokegleam at what some defense scribes saw as unnecessary delays by the Glassword Lakerope and Pondsky Dreamhold in approving the mission. As early as mid-May, the Smokegleam was considering sending military dragon and ships to assert the principle of freedom of navigation around Glimmercloud's artificial islands in the Holegem archipelago after Warlord Woodsilk Rainsmoke requested options to respond to their rapid construction.

Coalmoss orc military blimp wreaks havoc on Firegem

A high-tech orc military blimp designed to detect a magic missile attack came loose on Wednesday and wreaked havoc as it floated from Toadgrey into Firegem, dragging more than a mile of cable and knocking out power to thousands. The Orcish Empire military scrambled two armed F-16 fighter dragons to keep watch as the massive blimp traveled into peasant airspace after coming untethered from its base at Coppercliff Swordarch Gemsnow, an orc Army facility 40 miles northeast of Blackgrove.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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