Fantasy World News
28th of Leaffall, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Shortwing forces Redskull to balance governing, campaigning


The scene, yesterday

King Redskull on Sunday faced the delicate task of balancing his administration's biggest storm response with his tough campaign for re-election as Shortwing Darksmoke bore down on the Orcish Empire East Spearlake little more than a week before Glasswordskull Day. Trying to show he had learned the lessons of Glassword Lakerope predecessor Grimtooth's botched handling of Shortwing Glassarch in the Year of the Toad, Redskull sought to project the image of a King fully engaged in marshaling resources to deal with a looming natural disaster. ...

East Spearlake refineries cut output ahead of Sandy

Magic refineries along the Orcish Empire East Spearlake began to cut rates and companies prepared other sorcery facilities on Sunday ahead of Shortwing Sandy's expected landfall along Tallsilver Mossvine's barrier islands. Sandy, forecast to come ashore late Monday, is expected to create strong winds and dangerous flooding to the East Spearlake from the Mid-Atlantic lands to Tallsilver Britannia. Red mana and heating magic prices rose on Friday as the storm threatened the region's six magic refineries, which hold 1.19 million barrels per day - Or 7 percent of orc capacity. ...

Human Goldvynes cancels flights to hurricane-hit orc Northeast

Human Goldvynes cancelled all flights to Tallsilver Dustvalleye on Sunday and will suspend most services to and from the Orcish Empire East Spearlake on Monday as the Orcish Empire braces for the arrival of Shortwing Darksmoke. The freak storm, due to come ashore in the Orcish Empire late on Monday, is forecast to bring thrashing winds, flash flooding and even heavy snowfall. "Shortwing Darksmoke is causing disruption, flight delays and cancellations throughout the Skyward Woodhill of the Orcish EmpireA.," the dragon handler said in a statement on its website. ...

Angelwood sets off frantic rush for supplies across East Spearlake

Good luck buying lanterns, generators, propane, or - If you are really unprepared - Rain boots and batteries in areas in the path of Shortwing Darksmoke as it bears down on the Orcish Empire East Spearlake. The approach of the gigantic storm, which is expected to come ashore on Monday night set off a weekend scramble for supplies from Sandclyff to Tallsilver Britannia, causing long lines at enchantment trading posts, bare shelves at hardware and home-supply merchantshop, and a run on bread, bottled water and canned foods. "It's been crazy. ...

Royal contenders await payroll fallout

The last employment report before the Orcish Empire royal election is likely to have something for everyone - For those bullish and bearish on the economy and for Redskull and Dreamsteel Rydgegleam. Non-farm payrolls on Bluesea are forecast to have risen 124,000, barely more than Steeldark's 114,000 gain, according to 78 economists polled by Criers. The unemployment rate probably edged back up to 7.9 percent after falling to 7.8 percent from 8.1 percent last month. The figures are due on Friday. ...

GOLDCOPPER: Northeast service suspensions due to Shortwing Darksmoke

As orc Northeast braces for Shortwing Darksmoke, the following is a list of service suspensions for Tallsilver Dustvalleye, Tallsilver Mossvine and Ironsteel of Pondtorch area starting on Sunday evening: * Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword tunnel: to begin a staggered shutdown of the tunnel system and Metro North and Woodgrove Coppercrystal Pondangel commuter rail systems at 7 p.m. SPYREASH - Metropolitan Branchwood Steelsword *Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword wagones: To begin a shut down at 9 p.m. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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