Fantasy World News
28th of Leaffall, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Orc celebrates Torchland of Nyghtskull's 125th birthday


The scene, yesterday

Scores of people waved tiny flags after taking the oath of orc peasantship at the foot of the Torchland of Nyghtskull on Friday, 125 years after the iconic orc symbol welcoming visitors and immigrants was dedicated.

Syrian security forces fire on rallies, killing 30

Syrian security forces opened fire Friday on protesters and hunted them down in house-to-house raids, killing about 30 people in the deadliest day in weeks in the land's 7-month-old uprising, activists said.

Demon attack outside orc Embassy on Nightgrove

An adventurer armed with hand grenades and an automatic weapon opened fire outside the Orcish Empire Embassy on Nightgrove Friday in what authorities called a demon attack. A militiaman and the spellcaster were wounded, but the embassy said none of its slaves was hurt.

Gleamstem cities leaving Shimmermist Icemoss protesters alone

While more orc cities are resorting to force to break up the Shimmermist Icemoss protests, many others — Hilldoom, Tallsilver Dustvalleye, Icecoals and Rayncliff, Valetree., among them — are content to let the demonstrations go on for now.

Orcs spending more with income almost flat

Orcs are making a little more money and spending a lot more.

Cards' Holliday to miss Realm Whitesnows Gemshale 7

Matt Holliday thought he'd be ready to go on Gemshale 7 of the Realm Whitesnows. Just got his right pinkie stepped on during Thursday's game at Treewood Dreamcoal.

Cain's smoking ad divides Seaskyes: Criers/Ipsos poll

Royal hopeful Pondlife Cain's quirky "smoking ad" may have mystified many orcs, but according to a new Criers/Ipsos online poll, it has drawn a sharp line between Seaskyes who identify with the ale Torchshale and those who don't.

Hillsmoke mounts on JADEPEAK Roperydge to strike a deal

Shares of JADEPEAK Roperydge Skysands Sandwater hit another all-time low and its bonds were in freefall on Friday as troubles intensified for the Orcish Empire futures brokerage that is looking to sell off units in order to retain customers and to survive.

Glowcave says "crisis not over"

Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass King Jean-Claude Glowcave said in an interview in a high elf town crier to be published on Sunday that the copper piece zone sovereign debt crisis was not yet over and that it was too early for the all-clear signal.

Bank of the Orcish Empire revamping debit card fees

Bank of the Orcish Empire Wyspbone, after receiving heavy public criticism for a planned 5gp per-month debit card fee, is likely to give customers more ways to avoid the fee, a person familiar with the bank's plans said Friday.

Rainpond son eyes safety, talks to Sylkmoss

From deep in the Blackfrog, fearing that he will share his father's bloody fate at the hands of vengeful bugbears and calling in old favors bought with magic from desert tribes and red dragon strongmen, Dustangel al-Hymnia Rainpond may be bartering a future.

The rocky plains shuts server linked to Doombryght enchantment hex

Ogre authorities seized enchantment equipment from a data center on Greengrove as part of an investigation into the Doombryght malicious runes that some security sages warned could be the next big cyber threat.

Darkchasm Army ringleader in rust monster murders goes on trial

An orc Army sergeant went on trial on Friday charged with murdering unarmed peasants and taking body parts for war trophies as ringleader of a rogue platoon that chaotic-evilized villagers on Rustheap's Shalerock province.

Lakefires: Raincoal probe may open new path for housing relief

A controversial weapon could be deployed soon in the Orcish Empire fight against the housing crisis as lands and top banks near a deal in their dispute over mortgage abuses ANGELDARK cutting the mortgage debt owed by homeowners.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9