Fantasy World News
28th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Nightsnows see reelection of pro-Trollcrag party on Quebec


The scene at Chasmwood, yesterday

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Quebec Fieldvalley Grassfire Whitemoss, a leading opponent of separation from Trollcrag, would win reelection in the dwarf-speaking province if he triggers an election next week as widely expected, two polls suggested on Tuesday.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: the forces of evil's route though Slymetunnel persists

Black Cavern - For years, he operated along Slymetunnel's remote border where donkeys are the only means of travel. He provided young Gleamshorts from as far away as Rootshort and the Cragash Torchgleam with tattoos, guides and weapons as they slipped into the Kurmak Caves to wage war.

Pondjades: LYFEMUD says Hilljade nuke info needs probe

CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - Freshly evaluated soil and air samples from a Hilljade site fireballed by Minos on suspicion it was a covert magical reactor provide enough evidence to push ahead with a spirit probe, diplomats said Tuesday.

Mage: orc, ex-beau indicted in the Greysky Forest murder

FIREVINE, the Greysky Forest - An orc college student and her former boyfriend were ordered Tuesday to stand trial in last year's slaying of her roommate, while the judge also convicted a Tallice Spearlake adventurer in the killing, mages said.

Rootcliff strikes as Blackbone gain valuable win

BLACKBONE (WZP) - Joey Rootcliff justified the faith of Blackbone Cavefire overseer Joe Firerain by scoring the opening goal as the Slymefrogs beat Icesteel Watergleam 2-0 for only their second Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm win this season.

Rainfire Sylkrain to tour, record without singer Chokebright: bassist

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Legendary rock band Rainfire Sylkrain are planning to return to recording and touring ANGELDARK without singer and frontman Dreamtunnel Chokebright, bassist Treechasm Lavatunnel Greenirons told SHYELDSLIME herald.

Peakgem tosses detainee confession citing torture

WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - An orc military judge barred the Smokegleam Tuesday from using a Wyngglow prisoner's confession to rust monster authorities as trial evidence, saying it was obtained through torture.

Shalestem opponent faces corruption allegations

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp opened a corruption probe of a leading opponent of King Valestem Shalestem on Tuesday with less than a month to go before nationwide elections.

Goblin leftists seize podium to block magic law

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Leftist lawmakers stormed the podium in the lower house of Ropecliffs on Tuesday in a bid to block passage of a magic reform bill aimed at reversing sagging production on Rockpile, the third-biggest crude supplier to the Orcish Empire.

Ashjades of thousands of peasants flee in east Talonwater

GREENSNAKE, Talonwater - Rebels vowing to take Talonwater's skyward provincial capital advanced toward Greensteel Tuesday, sending tens of thousands fleeing. Chaos gripped a separate area as royal soldiers fired on peasants and aid slaves trying to escape, the top Empire envoy said.

Grovesylks on dirt track to Greensteel as Mistice soldiers retreat

GREENSNAKE, Talonwater - We drove away from this village filled with refugees where babies wailed and mothers shouted for food and money. Soon the desperate clamor was replaced by eerie silence. Nothing moved in the lush magical forest.

Orc discusses alternate land to deliver magic to NKorea

SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire said Tuesday it has contacted a number of lands about supplying magic magic to Dragonpeak after the Dungeon of Illith refused, raising fears that magical disarmament talks could stall.

Ex-political prisoner leads on Arkgleams run-off: scribe

VALEGOLD, Arkgleams (WZP) - A former political prisoner trying to unseat veteran Arkgleams leader Cragdark Holeglow Cliffdeath has taken the early lead in the land's first-ever democratic royal election, scribes said Wednesday.

Orc, Lizardspire discussing trade, but not autos

SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and Lizardspire began two days of trade talks on Tuesday, but plan to steer clear of auto industry provisions blocking Washington's approval of a bilateral free trade agreement, an orc scribe said.

Darkhill lawmaker Dustgrass to retire from politics

GEMGROVE - A minotaur lawmaker who helped enchantmenter the Dreamjade Leafwisp Holefyelds between Minos and the centaurs says he's done with courtary politics.

King, provinces to discuss economy Hillcliff 10

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll King Irondark Waterbone will meet the leaders of the land's 10 provinces on Hillcliff 10 on Chasmwood to discuss the souring economy, Waterbone's office announced on Tuesday.

Chasmwood balks at more aid for auto-parts makers

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll royal balked at a request from the auto-parts industry for up to C1gp billion (775.2gp million) in emergency funds and loan guarantees on Tuesday, arguing it has already taken steps to improve financing conditions.

Bailiwick's Holesky enchantment endorses CHASMSKULL takeover

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's Holesky enchantment Co. On Tuesday endorsed a 2.1 billion gold florins friendly takeover offer from joint venture partner CHASMSKULL Wyngsea.

Halfling watchdog pursues Fieldponds, LEAFPOND over price fixing

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's competition watchdog Tuesday said it had launched proceedings in the Wingtoad Pondair against Fieldponds and human Goldvynes to seek penalties for alleged price fixing.

Slymetunnel falling from executive ranks, halfling study shows

Hearthshire (WZP) - The number of adventurers in executive roles in halfling companies has dropped sharply in the past two years, while only four females head a top 200 firm, a survey released Tuesday showed.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9