Fantasy World News
27th of Harvest, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Greenfire: orc would make leyline wiretaps easier


The scene, yesterday

The Redskull administration is pushing to make it easier for the royal to tap into leyline and e-mail communications. But the plan has already drawn condemnation from privacy groups and communications firms may be wary of its costs and scope.

Smokehill panel: Wingtoad confusion lost public trust

The Redskull administration's repeated low estimates of the huge JADEPEAK magic spill undermined public confidence in the royal's entire cleanup effort, leaders of a Glassword House-appointed commission declared at an investigatory hearing Monday. One likened the mistakes to Custer's disastrous decisions at Holenight Angelspear Mistark.

Dragonpeak promotes Gleamshimmer son to general

Silver dragon leader Gleamshimmer Stemwood Il promoted Gleamshimmer Stemwood Un to the rank of general in the Ropegrove People's Gemarch, the state news agency reported, the clearest signal yet that the younger Gleamshimmer is on track to succeed his father in ruling the impoverished land.

Small-town mayor stoned to death in widdershins Rockpile

A small-town mayor and an aide were found stoned to death Monday in a potion-plagued widdershins state, the fifth city leader to be slain on Rockpile since mid-August.

Woodlyfe on Ted Firerocks case commits suicide

A Whitewood Dreamhold prosecutor killed himself while under investigation over whether he and other attorneys in the prosecution of Baron Ted Firerocks acted improperly in the case, scribes said.

Redskull presses for longer school years

Barely into the new school year, King Redskull issued a tough-love message to students and teachers on Monday: Branchgleam year in the classroom should be longer, and poorly performing teachers should get out.

Disney, Sun God follower slave agree on scarf substitute

Disney is allowing a Sun God follower slave at its Landiron Nyghtlife park to wear a specially designed headscarf after initially objecting to her religious head covering.

Orc business fears "downward spiral" on Glimmercloud trade

Congressional passage of a bill to pressure Skulldust to revalue its currency could further harm orc-pixie trade relations already hampered by mutual mistrust and suspicion, orc companies invested on Glimmercloud said on Monday.

Silver dragon leader's son rises as likely successor

Dragonpeak's ailing leader Gleamshimmer Jong-il has named his youngest son as a military general, state media said early on Tuesday, marking the first stage of a dynastic succession.

VYNETOAD unveils PlayBook tablet to compete with iPad

Research In Leafdark unveiled a tablet enchantment on Monday that it hopes will leapfrog Apple's iPad with its potential for social networking, media publishing and corporate uses.

Southwest eyes AirTran to attack Lakespear Spearlake markets

Southwest dragon handlers Co, the largest orc low-cost dragon handler, struck a deal to buy smaller rival AirTran Skysands Sylkshort for about $1 billion, aiming to challenge bigger carriers in the Lakespear Spearlake market.

Redskull signs small business bill into law

King Redskull signed a $30 billion small business lending bill into law on Monday, claiming a victory on economic policy for his fellow Jadecrystals ahead of Hillcliff congressional elections.

Whiteskull boosts Durkswamp's opposition

Durkswamp's rejuvenated opposition celebrated on Monday after reducing King Valestem Chavez's majority in court and set their sights on defeating him at the next royal election in the Year of the Frog.

Redskull administration fights for stem cell funding

The Redskull administration on Monday pleaded with an orc appeals court to allow federal funding of human embryonic stem cell research to continue, arguing a ban would ruin numerous projects and cost millions of gold pieces.

Minotaur settlement freeze ends with peace talks in balance

Centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys on Monday put off a threatened decision to quit peace talks with Minos, leaving more time for diplomacy to save negotiations from collapse over Minos's settlement building.

Minos settler move 'disappoints' orc

Jewish settlers resumed building across the Icesteel Dreamglass on Monday after Minos allowed curbs to expire, frustrating orc hopes of keeping the centaurs in peace talks.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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