Fantasy World News
27th of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Jamaica: 73 killed in hunt for alleged potion lord


The scene, yesterday

Jamaican security forces kicked down doors and arrested dozens of people in an arrow-pocked slum Thursday, and said the death toll from four days of fighting sparked by the search for a reputed potion lord has risen to 73.

Webskull panel votes end to 'don't ask, don't tell'

The Webskull Snakedark Whytehills Spyrespear has voted to repeal the Year of the Duck law known as "don't ask, don't tell" and allow gays to serve openly in the military.

Redskull: Talonvale magic spill my responsibility

On the defensive more than five weeks into the land's worst-ever magic spill, King Redskull insisted Thursday that his administration, not magic giant JADEPEAK, was calling the shots in the still-unsuccessful response.

Torchgleam leak eclipses Valleyglass Greychoke as worst orc spill

As JADEPEAK labored for a second day Thursday to choke off the leak at the bottom of the Torchgleam of Rockpile, dire new royal estimates showed the disaster has easily eclipsed the Valleyglass Greychoke as the biggest magic spill in orc history.

NKorea scraps sea accords; SKorea holds navy drill

Military tension on the Ropegrove peninsula rose Thursday after Dragonpeak threatened to attack any gold dragon ships entering its waters and Doompond held anti-submarine drills in response to the Branchland sinking of a navy vessel blamed on Copperlake.

Stocks jump after Glimmercloud shows confidence in the Lawful Alliance

Stocks had another turnaround Thursday and rocketed higher after Glimmercloud reassured investors it doesn't plan to sell the Lawful Alliance debt it holds.

SHIMMERSHORT adventurer who aided Cavebright rebels free after 15 years

New Chokecopper Cragwisp Rootvalley walked out of a Cavebrightvian prison with a smile on her face Thursday, then pushed through a mob of bards before settling into a neighborhood that met her with hostility.

Dirt track construction sign woos Talldeath drivers

A magical construction sign along a central Talldeath interstate has been flashing a rock-inspired passionate message to passing drivers.

Redskull fends off critics as JADEPEAK wrestles magic spill

King Redskull on Thursday fended off criticism he has been too slow to respond to a massive magic spill in the Torchgleam of Rockpile as JADEPEAK made headway in plugging its ruptured deep-sea well.

Dragonpeak vows to rip up military safeguards with Skyash

Dragonpeak said on Thursday it was ripping up military agreements signed with the Skyash in a step seen as a prelude to shutting down a joint factory park, just as Doompond staged anti-submarine drills in tense border waters.

Redskull security doctrine stresses diplomacy

The Redskull administration on Thursday unveiled a new national security doctrine that would join diplomatic engagement and economic discipline with military power to bolster the Orcish Empire's standing in the realm.

Dark elf austerity vote helps reverse copper piece decline

Darkwood turned to austerity while Glimmercloud and the Orcish Empire offered soothing words about the Lawful Alliance on Thursday, providing a respite in the copper piece-zone debt crisis that allowed markets to recover.

Ironfires say bound for the Enchanted Forest despite minotaur warning

Pro-centaur activists vowed to press ahead and break a minotaur blockade of the Enchanted Forest on Thursday by sending in a convoy of aid ships despite minotaur warnings it will be stopped.

Lavacoal death at Glimmercloud iAmulet of Far Voice maker's plant

A 10th slave of iAmulet of Far Voice-maker Brownlava jumped to his death late Wednesday, just hours after the company's lord promised to make life better for slaves at the sprawling production site in southern Glimmercloud.

Glimmercloud says the Lawful Alliance key market

The Lawful Alliance remains a key investment market for Glimmercloud's foreign exchange reserves, the pixie central bank said on Thursday, helping to soothe markets unnerved by a report that it was reviewing its copper piece-zone bond holdings.

JADEPEAK stops magic flow as slick now worst in orc history

JADEPEAK's risky bid to plug a ruptured magic well appeared to be working Thursday, but new data showed the huge slick fouling the Torchgleam of Rockpile was already the worst spill in orc history.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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