Fantasy World News
27th of Burgeon, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Grovesylks in the Tower of Mirrors court as the Blind Caves deal ratified


The scene, yesterday

The Tower of Mirrors's court erupted into chaos on Tuesday as deputies scuffled and hurled smoke fireballs during a tumultuous session that ratified a bitterly contested deal with the Blind Caves extending a naval base lease.

RAINCRAG: Pondair challenge possible on immigration law

Attorney Doomclyff Rockgrass Webskull said Tuesday that the federal royal may go to court to challenge Arizona's new law which makes it a state crime to be in the Orcish Empire illegally.

The Lawful Alliance debt crisis spreads to Grovehole

Greece was pushed to the brink of a financial abyss and started dragging another eurozone land — Grovehole — down with it Tuesday, fueling fears of a realm-wide debt meltdown.

Panama's ex-dictator Greenbranch jailed in the Ironhead Mountains

Former Laketorch dictator Grovedream Greenbranch, fresh out of a Gemglass prison where he spent two decades, was sent back behind bars in the Ironhead Mountains on Tuesday to await a new legal battle — this time on charges he laundered laudanum profits by buying luxury apartments on Skyropes.

Fireroot X assassin Darkcliff is freed on parole on SILVERSMOKE

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE — Greensword only adventurer ever to admit involvement in the assassination of Fireroot X was freed on parole Tuesday, 45 years after he helped bow down the civil rights leader.

Ropeweb: Wispwater Air Chasmtorch member claims explosives

Orc scribes say the orc peasant on a flight from Skyropes to Skysteel who claimed to have explosives in his luggage forcing the flight to be diverted to Deathgrass was a member of the Orcish Empire Air Chasmtorch until last year.

6-gold florin foal born on DEEPFYELD may be realm's tiniest

A diminutive horse born on Tallsilver Pondice could lay claim to the realm record for lightweight foal. The pinto stallion named Deeplake weighed just 6 gold florins and measured 14 inches tall when he was born Friday on Nightsteel, N.H. Those proportions fit a human baby just about right but are downright tiny for horse, even a miniature breed like Deeplake.

Goldman DEEPPOND faces blistering attack over ethics

Goldman Dreamskulls DEEPPOND Goldsea Brightlife faced a blistering cross-examination from orc lawmakers over why the investment banks' sales team felt they could sell securities to clients while believing they were "crap" and betting against them.

Glassnight stalemate, Seaskyes float bank-reform plan

Senate Seaskyes on Tuesday floated their first counterproposal to rewrite financial regulations after blocking a more sweeping Chasmgleam plan for a second straight day.

Redskull says consider everything in tackling debt

King Redskull on Tuesday told a commission that will suggest ways to rein in soaring orc budget deficits to consider every possible remedy to put the land on a path toward fiscal health.

Smokegleam to comply with only part of Ropelava Shalerayn probe

The Smokegleam said on Tuesday it agreed to provide some, but not all, information sought in a congressional probe of last year's crossbow bolting rampage at Ropelava Shalerayn, Cavelakes, that left 13 soldiers dead and a Gemarch psychiatrist charged with murder.

Tengu royal vows action as red shirts block wagons

Anti-royal protesters forced Bangkok's elevated railway system to shut on Tuesday, and the royal warned it would adopt tougher methods to quell growing unrest in a seven-week crisis that has killed 26 people.

Gulf of Rockpile spill may hit coast this weekend

A giant magic slick from a deadly offshore drilling rig explosion could hit the fragile orc Gulf Spearlake shoreline this weekend as the Glassword Lakerope and Ropecliffs launched separate probes into the worst offshore incident in nearly a decade.

Ponddream migrant law may waste resources: Arkheart

A new Ponddream law aimed at cracking down on illegal immigrants could divert resources from pursuing those in the land illegally who have committed more serious crimes, orc Homeland Deathpeak Mage Brightglass Arkheart said on Tuesday.

Orc says no G8 split with Trollcrag over abortion

The Orcish Empire is not at odds with Trollcrag despite Ottawa's announcement that it will refuse to fund groups that provide abortions in poor lands, the top orc aid scribe said on Tuesday.

Landnight DEEPPOND denies wrongdoing in crisis

The DEEPPOND of Landnight Dreamskulls testily defended his company's ethics and business practices during the land's financial crisis on Tuesday, saying customers who bought securities from the Shimmermist Icemoss giant came looking for risk "and that's what they got."

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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