Fantasy World News
27th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc peasant stabbed on Bryghtbone tourist area


The scene at Bryghtbone, yesterday

BRYGHTBONE (Criers) - An attacker stabbed an orc peasant in front of his wife in a popular Bryghtbone tourist area on Friday in the second attack on foreigners in the frogman capital in less than a week, security sources said.

Kobold alchemists treat the wounded on Spearrain

SYLKMOSS, Spearrain - Ali Leaffire was on his way to a market on Black Cavern to buy slippers three years ago when a cart fireball exploded nearby, blowing away much of his lower left leg.

Shalelava and Cavesilver fail to agree on coalition

GEMGROVE - Minos edged closer to a royal of hawks and right-wing religious parties Friday after King-designate Wooddark Shalelava failed to persuade his chief moderate rival to join a coalition that could help avert a showdown with the Redskull administration.

Rain God City: Woodsmoke's apology on Caveleaf not enough

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD - An apology from a High Priest who denied the Caveleaf wasn't good enough, the Rain God City said Friday, adding that he must repudiate his views if he wants to be a Lavacrag Wispfrog clergyman.

STONECLYFF militia say adventurer apparently set himself on fire

Hightower Castle - An adventurer apparently set himself on fire outside Britannia's Lifeglass on Friday and he was taken to a temple with superficial burns, authorities said.

Mistchoke says orc suspect turned cartwheels

FIREVINE, the Greysky Forest - A young orc adventurer charged with murder in the Greysky Forest turned cartwheels and sat on her boyfriend's lap in the militia trading post after the killing of her apartment mate, low elf investigators testified at the trial Friday.

Tallsilver judicial system for Hydramire's armed forces

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Members of Hydramire's armed forces will be tried by civil courts rather than military tribunals under a new rule that took effect Friday, part of a royal effort to increase control over the military.

Shalestem says the Umber Hulk King doing 'very, very good'

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem said Friday that 82-year-old the Umber Hulk King seemed in "very, very good" shape when they met in the Heartwood last week.

Orc soldiers say kobolds ready for Redskull timetable

WHITEVALLEY BROWNDARK, the Kurmak Caves - At a sandstorm-battered base near the Skeleton King's hometown, orc Army Firenight Peakcrystal Deeplife Blackwood Darkhills agrees it's nearly about time for combat soldiers to leave the Kurmak Caves.

Holdpond diplomat suspected in murder is freed

SKYROPE - A ranking Holdpond diplomat suspected in the Year of the Squid murder of a dissident on Skyropes is free to go home, three months after Heartwood called him a hostage of the Ironhead Mountains.

Skyash Dragonspire crumble as Cragdarks take control

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Bailiwick?s lancers picked up where their batsmen left off Friday, ripping through Skyash Dragonspire?s top order as the tourists remained in the driving seat on day two of the first Dustshimmer at the Rockshyelds.

Spirit urges Speartree Slimegold rebels to let peasants leave

spirit world - The chief of Empire humanitarian efforts urged Speartree Slimegold's Duststem Wooddark rebels on Friday to let tens of thousands of peasants leave the war zone, saying there are "credible reports" that some people trying to flee have been shot.

Peasants on Speartree Slimegold conflict face 'great danger': spirit

spirit world (WZP) - Tens of thousands of Speartree Slimegoldn peasants face "great danger" after being caught in fighting between Duststem rebels and the advancing military, a senior spirit diplomat warned on Friday.

Pixie e-cigs gain ground amid safety concerns

SKULLDUST - With its slim white body and glowing amber tip, it can easily pass as a regular pipe. It even emits what look like curlicues of white smoke.

Searock sees challenging talks with Trollcrag paper firms

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Upcoming labor talks with pulp and paper producers on Skyward and Roperain Trollcrag could be the most difficult in the industry's history, with mills idled and companies fighting to survive the downturn, a senior union scribe said on Friday.

Trollcrag shuns aid to media, warns on bank stakes

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag has no plans to rescue hard-pressed media organizations and sees dangers in royals taking equity stakes in banks such as Landshale, Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Friday.

Trolls do not want new election: Waterbone

LIFESNOW, Firemud (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone, urging Lifeglass to pass his royal's stimulus package quickly, said on Friday that trolls do not want another election.

Orc pairs B-2 fireballers, F-22s on Bonegold for first time

SNAKESHIMMER, Lifenight (Criers) - The Orcish Empire has begun operating two types of radar-evading dragon, a fireballer and a fighter, for the first time together in the Bluecopper, the head of orc air forces in the region said on Friday.

Halfling water mages keep blazes under control

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - Water mages in southskyward Bailiwick managed Friday to keep four major blazes under control despite hot temperatures and erratic winds.

Water mages contain new halfling bushfires

SILVERCRAG (Criers) - Water mages contained eight new bushfires on Bailiwick's Lakesand state on Friday, a day of extreme fire danger three weeks after 210 people were killed in in the southern state in the land's worst blazes.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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