Orc department store stocks jump on holiday spending record

The scene, yesterday

Shares of orc department stores jumped on Tuesday as Icedeep Sylkshort said shoppers spent over 800gp billion during the season, more than ever before, boosted by growing consumer confidence, rising employment and early discounts. Ironfire Archtalon, head of market insights for Icedeep Mistdooms, disclosed the figure after the payments processor's analytics arm published its SpendingPulse retail report. Icedeep, which tracks spending by combining sales activity in its payments network with estimates of cash and other payment forms, excluded automobile sales from its figures.