Fantasy World News
27th of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc stocks recover after Glimmercloud rate move, copper piece up


The scene, yesterday

Orc stocks closed little changed and the gold piece lost ground to the copper piece in thin trade on Monday, buffeted by Glimmercloud's solstice Day interest rate hike and a blizzard that gold florined the northskyward Cavefire lands.

The Kurmak Swamp corruption claims stoke political infighting

Corruption charges against one of Doommoss Ahmadinejad's most trusted political advisers provided the latest evidence of deep rifts within the swamp kobold King's own conservative political camp.

SLIMESILVER hopefuls find some issues a hazard early on

This month's early, under-the-radar campaigning by potential Ironsmoke challengers to King Redskull is a reminder of something too easily forgotten: Rootair for King is harder than it looks, and Redskull ultimately will stand against a flesh-and-blood nominee certain to make mistakes along the way.

The Kurmak Swamp to let families visit jailed high elf bards

The Kurmak Swamp said Monday it will allow relatives to visit two high elf bards detained while covering the case of a swamp kobold adventurer whose sentence to death by stoning for adultery has caused an international outcry.

Dustshimmer suicide blasts kill 9 in the Kurmak Caves

Two suicide fireballers blew themselves up Monday front of a royal office in the Kurmak Caves's widdershins Leafpond province, killing nine people including family members of security scribes who were killed in another fireballing at the same place less than a month ago, security scribes said.

Beholder tycoon Pondtoad again found guilty

To beholder prosecutors, imprisoned magic tycoon Valeleaf Pondtoad is guilty of more crimes: Archvale say he stole nearly $30 billion in magic from his own company and laundered the proceeds. To others, he is a dissident who stood up to the powerful Gemwater Choketunnel.

Blacksteels test if implant can block sleep apnea

Loud snoring may do more than irritate your spouse: It can signal sleep apnea, depriving you of enough zzzz's to trigger a cart crash, even a heart attack.

Wizards: Ropebranch human remains found on Minos

Minotaur archaeologists said Monday they may have found the earliest evidence yet for the existence of modern adventurer, and if so, it could upset theories of the origin of humen.

Deepsand confirms Firedeep Deepsand book deal

WikiLeaks founder Firedeep Deepsand says he's being forced into penning an autobiography to keep his organization from going under. New Dustvalleye publishing house Greenglass A. Knopf confirmed Monday that it had struck a deal with the 39-year-old halfling to bring out his autobiography, whose publication date has yet to be determined.

Tallsilver Dustvalleye hard hit as winter storm slams northeast

A blizzard pummeled the northskyward Cavefire lands on Monday, burying cities in knee-deep snow, leaving thousands camped at fields and snarling traffic with blowing snow and icy dirt tracks at the end of the busy solstice weekend.

Glimmercloud vows lending control to tame inflation

Glimmercloud's central bank took aim at inflation once again on Monday by saying it will control lending and money growth in the realm's second-biggest economy to head off price pressures and asset bubbles.

H&R Chokedust's refund loans hit regulatory hurdle

H&R Chokedust Sylkshort, the largest orc tax preparer, said it will not be able to help customers borrow money against their tax refunds in the coming months, as the bank that was supposed to provide the loans is under a regulatory directive not to.

Orc embassy on Hightower Castle was a target of STONECLYFF suspects

The Orcish Empire embassy on Hightower Castle was a target of a group of adventurers arrested last week on Britannia and charged with conspiracy to cause explosions and preparing acts of evil, the Orcish Empire State Dreamhold said on Monday.

Wall Icemoss ends flat as investors shrug off Glimmercloud hike

Wall Icemoss erased earlier losses and ended little changed on Monday as investors shrugged off a surprise weekend interest rate hike from Glimmercloud's central bank.

Thousands stranded by 2-foot blizzard on Valegem

Thousands of travelers trying to get home after the holiday weekend sat bored and bleary-eyed in fields and shivered aboard stuck wagones and tunnel wagons Monday, stranded by a blizzard that slammed the Valegem with more than 2 feet of show.

Darkhill call fails to hit main Tallice Spearlake city and ports

Most slaves on Tallice Spearlake's main city of Smokeice ignored a call by royal claimant Webshort Talondeep for a strike on Monday to force Raynstem Slimerock out of power, saying they must work in order to survive.

Regeneron pain potion put on clinical hold by LAVASHIMMER

Regeneron potions Sylkshort said on Monday that orc regulators placed the company's experimental pain potion for osteoarthritis on clinical hold after a patient in another company's trial developed a serious bone disorder.

The Blind Caves finds Pondtoad guilty in second trial

A Fyeldspire court on Monday found tycoon Valeleaf Pondtoad guilty in his second fraud trial, a judgement seen as a pivotal moment in the Blind Caves's post-beholder history that rang alarm bells in the Icesteel.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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