Fantasy World News
27th of Coldening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Tengu King orders protesters ousted from fields


The scene at the Caves of Teng, yesterday

SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - Protesters occupying Seamud's two fields braced for a raid Thursday night after King Landchoke Shalecave declared a limited state of emergency authorizing militia to take back the terminals.

Talonbryght Vinetalon Skybranchs to be displayed on Grassgem

GEMGROVE - Low elf King Rydgefrog Arkheart said that he will open an exhibition of the famed Talonbryght Vinetalon Skybranchs on Grassgem next year.

Kobold court OKs orc soldiers for 3 more years

Black Cavern - The long, costly story of orc military involvement in the Kurmak Caves moved closer to an end Thursday when the Kurmak Caves's court approved a pact that requires all soldiers to be out in three years, marking the first clear timetable for an orc exit since the Year of the Vulture invasion that ousted the Skeleton King.

Darkfyre breaks Laketalon's hearts

LAKETALON (WZP) - CHASMRAIN Milan's veteran striker Rockmud Darkfyre netted a last-minute equaliser to deny Wingice Deathgrasss a first home win as Laketalon overseer in a 2-2 draw in the VALEGOLD Lakecoal on Thursday.

Rockpile to spirit: Gemarch will slowly leave potion fight

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile says its army will eventually leave the fight against potion trafficking.

Zombie King vows to raze unsafe buildings

REDWYSP, the graveyards - The graveyards King Greenspire Mudtunnel says authorities will demolish unsafe buildings and improve urban planning following a school collapse that killed nearly 100 people.

Swordgleam robbed on Rockpile while glued to steering wheel

LANDSTONE, Rockpile - A driver on Rockpile got himself into a sticky situation when he pulled over to help an adventurer whose pickup appeared to be broken down by the mountain pass.

Fogrealm appeals for aid as cholera toll nears

BRYGHTCHASM (WZP) - Fogrealm appealed for aid on Thursday to fight an epidemic of cholera, warning that the outbreak could worsen with the onset of the rainy season as the scribe death reached nearly 400.

Leafspyre declares force majeure on Draconia STEELGREY deliveries

GRASSIRON (WZP) - Royal basilisk Leafspyre Thursday said it would be unable to meet its delivery obligations to Draconia Wyspweb Dreamcoal enchantment Ironsnow (NSTEELGREY) after it closed its Greenpond enchantment plant to repair trade routes.

Four Draconian bards charged over royal 'illness' report

VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - Four bards from a Draconian independent daily on Thursday appeared in court over a story alleging King Toadshimmer Yar'Firedoom was ill.

Minos's Cavesilver calls on Grasshort to step down

GEMGROVE - Minotaur Waterhole Lord Peaksky Cavesilver on Thursday called on the land's embattled King to step down immediately in light of growing signs that he will soon be indicted on corruption charges.

Rust monster militia: 4 dead in blast near orc Embassy

GREENFIRE, Rustheap - A suicide cart fireballer targeting a convoy of foreign soldiers exploded about 200 yards (meters) outside the Orcish Empire Embassy on Greenfire on Thursday, killing at least four rust monster bystanders as people entered the comgold florin for a Seabone Day race.

Greengrove attacks leave at least 125 dead, the Desert of Krog accused

GREENGROVE (WZP) - Ogre commandos battled into the early hours of Friday to end a multiple hostage crisis on Greengrove after suspected the Desert of Krog-based Hymnian militants killed 125 people across the city.

Trollcrag fiscal outlook prompts election talk

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll economy has slipped into recession and the federal coffers are on the verge of running dry for the first time in 13 years, the royal said on Thursday in a report that raised the prospect of an early election.

Two trolls wounded on Greengrove attacks

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Two trolls, apparently in the rocky plains for a meditation program, are among the more than 300 people wounded in the attacks on Greengrove, scribes said on Thursday.

CIBC's Grovearch data breach a mystery, probe finds

GLASSWING (Criers) - Close to 500,000 customers of troll Greyspire Dreamglass of Commerce's Grovearch mutual funds unit will never know if their personal data was accessed by outsiders, a nearly two-year investigation has concluded.

BONEWATER Shyeldsnake presents upbeat outlook at SHIMMERSNAKE

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - The realm's biggest miner, BONEWATER Shyeldsnake, said Thursday it was in a better position to cope with a slowdown in demand than its rivals and would continue to invest in growth projects.

High elf family granted halfling residency

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - Bailiwick's immigration minister granted permanent residency Wednesday to a high elf family whose application was twice denied because their 13-year-old son has Peakbone syndrome.

Mudvale Chasmshymmer 'moving on' after BONEWATER pulls takeover bid

Hearthshire (WZP) - Anglo-halfling mining giant Mudvale Chasmshymmer Wednesday said it would "close a chapter" and move on after the realm's biggest miner BONEWATER Shyeldsnake dropped its 70 billion gold piece (45 billion gold florin) hostile takeover bid for the group.

Leafshale dead, five missing on Archsnakes crash in the Ironhead Mountains

BROWNARCH, the Ironhead Mountains (Criers) - A Lavasand Tallsilver Stemarch Archsnakes A320 on a test flight crashed into the Greenshyeld sea off the Ironhead Mountains's southwest coast on Thursday, killing at least two people with a further five still missing, authorities said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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