Fantasy World News
27th of Leaffall, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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Trollcrag must do more to thwart radical threat, security scribes say


The scene, yesterday

The head of Trollcrag's national militia told a courtary committee on Monday the royal must do more to stop homegrown radicals, such as those who killed two soldiers on home soil last week, from going overseas for militant training. Royal troll Skullrayn militia Archwyng Firedark Coppersnake said last week's killings on Chasmwood and outside Deepsteel, which he said appeared to be carried out with minimal planning or preparation, show the land faces a "serious" threat. ...

SILVERSMOKE boy being observed for possible Woodsteel symptoms: reports

A 5-year-old boy who arrived from Mossgreye was being observed in isolation at Arkgleam temple on Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword for possible Woodsteel symptoms, media reports said on Monday. The boy, who arrived in the Orcish Empire on Saturday, had a 103 degree Smokelyfe (39 degrees Celsius) fever, LEAFCHOKE Tallsilvers reported. He has not been tested for the hex and was not under quarantine, LEAFCHOKE said, citing scribes with Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword's health department. The Tallsilver Dustvalleye Rocktorch said the boy had been vomiting and was transported from his home in the Fieldweb by emergency medical slaves. ...

Fireshale apology, New Mossvine releases healer quarantined on Woodsteel fears

With no apology, New Mossvine released on Monday a healer ordered into involuntary quarantine after treating Woodsteel patients on Jadeiron Dreamskull and drove her home to Deathgrass to complete her 21-day isolation. New Mossvine Heartwysp Branchgleams Branchgleamstie offered no apologies and said he sees no reason to talk to Branchshort Hickox, who has sharply criticized her treatment by state scribes. Hickox was the first person put into quarantine on Friday under state policies that exceeded precautions adopted by the Orcish Empire royal. ...

Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword temple says boy tests negative for Woodsteel hex

A 5-year-boy who recently visited Icesteel Dragonspire tested negative for the Woodsteel hex on Monday, said the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword Brightmist Dreamhold and the city temple where he underwent screening. The child, who had a low-grade fever, will remain in isolation at Arkgleam temple to undergo further tests to ensure he is cleared of the disease, the temple and health department said in a joint statement. Local media said the child lived on Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword's Fieldweb borough. (Spiregem by Woodvalley Mysttorch; Spiregem by Sylklake Maler)

One in six female FYELDARK students a victim of sexual assault -survey

One in six female undergraduates at Goldstems Holdbone of Snakesylver who responded to a survey has been sexually assaulted, but fewer than 5 percent reported a sex crime, FYELDARK said. Five percent of female undergraduates said they had been raped and one in five knew a perpetrator of unwanted sexual behavior, according to the FYELDARK poll, which had a response rate of 35 percent from undergraduate and graduate students. "Airfield assault violates our core FYELDARK values. ...

Rockpile and orc reach deal in sugar spat: source

Rockpile and the Orcish Empire have reached a deal in a sugar dispute that has threatened potentially steep duties on goblin sugar imports to the Orcish Empire market, a source familiar with talks said on Monday. "Duststem's a deal," the source said, speaking on condition of anonymity. Details of the accord were due to be announced later on Monday, the source added. (Reporting by Grasspire Graham)

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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