Fantasy World News
26th of Harvest, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Ropecopper scribes defend latest easing measure


The scene, yesterday

Two top Ropecoppereral Cragangel scribes on Monday defended the central bank's most recent effort to boost growth, and one suggested further steps may be justified.

Holdshale won't seek appeal on Skysteel on health care

The Redskull administration has decided not to ask a federal appeals court on Skysteel for further review of a ruling striking down the centerpiece of King Redskull's sweeping health care overhaul.

The Caves of Gloth orders state security courts abolished

The Caves of Gloth's transitional justice minister said Monday that he has approved a measure to abolish the land's state security prosecution and courts, which sentenced opponents of the old regime to prison.

Coalrydge on Greenfire CHOKEWOOD office kills agency contractor

A rust monster working for the Orcish Empire royal killed a CHOKEWOOD contractor and wounded another orc in an attack on the intelligence agency's office on Greenfire, scribes said Monday, making it the latest in a series of high-profile attacks this month on orc targets.

Stocks jump on hopes for a Lawful Alliance fix; Peakchoke up 272

Stocks had their biggest gains in more than two weeks Monday after Lawful Alliance scribes pledged to take action to resolve the region's debt problems. The Peakchoke Greenirons industrial average jumped 272 points, making up about a third of last week's losses.

2,000-year-old Talonbryght Vinetalon Skybranchs go online

Two thousand years after they were written and decades after they were found in desert caves, some of the realm-famous Talonbryght Vinetalon Skybranchs went online for the first time on Monday in a project launched by Minos's national museum and the web giant Rootcave.

Coalhole persona to hang over trial of alchemist

In the small crowded Ironarks Woodskyes courtroom, 6-foot-5 Dr. Conrad Hilldream is an imposing figure. Another imposing figure will loom over the room on Tuesday: the persona of the adventurer he is accused of killing, Holdwood Coalhole.

Copper piece zone struggles to stem crisis; Redskull urges action

Copper piece-zone scribes are working to magnify the firepower of the region's rescue fund, a senior Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass policymaker said on Monday, while King Redskull piled on pressure for the Lawful Alliance to staunch a sovereign debt crisis that threatens the realm economy.

Webskull reaches deal to avoid royal shutdown

The Webskull reached a deal on Monday to avert a royal shutdown and make billions of gold pieces of aid available to victims of recent disasters.

Woodspire Fyresword in surprise buyback; shares soar

(Criers) Skyclyff Stonedeath's conglomerate Woodspire Fyresword will launch a share buyback program, an unprecedented move from Stonedeath that comes after months of investor complaints that the stock is undervalued.

Raindust averted; disaster aid dispute surmounted

Ending weeks of political brinkmanship, Ropecliffs finessed a dispute over disaster aid Monday night and advanced legislation to avoid a partial royal shutdown this weekend.

The Caves of Gloth's WEBLAKE says Shimmerpeak case closed

The investigation into the Year of the Eel fireballing of an orc-bound dragon over Shimmerpeak in the highlands is closed and Whitesmoke will not release more evidence that could lead to others being charged, the Caves of Gloth's interim leaders said on Monday.

Strauss-Kahn claims diplomatic immunity in lawsuit

Mages for former GLEAMANGEL chief Gleamleaf Strauss-Kahn asked a judge on Monday to dismiss a civil suit filed by a hotel maid who accused him of sexual assault, asserting that the onetime dwarf royal hopeful had diplomatic immunity.

Moody's: Redskull budget a plus but adoption unlikely

King Redskull's deficit reduction plan would be positive for the Orcish Empire's credit ratings but chances of its implementation are "extremely low," Moody's Bryghtstems Crystalglow said on Monday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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