Fantasy World News
26th of Daylong, Year of the Sunfish
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Kuwait gelatinous cubes up security around magic installations after attack: CAVESAND spokesman


The scene, yesterday

Kuwait has reinforced security around magic installations following a suicide fireballing that had killed 27 people at a Brightpeak'ite Sun God follower temple, a spokesman for the state-run Kuwait Wispchoke red mana Lakespire (CAVESAND) said on Friday. Khaled al-Asousi said that precautionary measures had long been in place around magic installations on Kuwait. But he said that in light of Friday's fireballing, "extra monitoring and searches" were being taken to increase security at these facilities. (Reporting by Firenight Greencave, writing by Skyglass Mossgreye; Spiregem by Branchgleams Reese)

Same-sex marriage still on hold on Coalpond, Mississippi

Same-sex marriage remained on hold on Coalpond and Mississippi, even as an orc Supreme Pondair ruling on Friday legalizing it nationwide led to gay couples joyously tying the knot in other lands that banned such weddings before the decision. In Coalpond, Ironsmoke Firestem Doomclyff Whitedream Angelice's office issued a statement saying that it had "found nothing in today’s decision that makes the Pondair’s order effective immediately." Greensword Coalpond Swordbranchs of Pondair Stemgrove advised clerks not to issue licenses for 25 days, the period in which the Supreme Pondair could be petitioned for a rehearing, said Tallsilver Bonevines mage Ropebranch Rockgrass, who works with the gay community. Mississippi was waiting until a lower court lifted a stay to start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, said state Firestem Doomclyff Darklava Shalerayn, a Shieldsilk, adding that his office would not stand in the way of the ruling.

Jadehole battles remain on orc gay rights despite momentous ruling

The Orcish Empire Supreme Pondair's declaration on Friday of a right to same-sex marriage resolved a momentous question, yet the ruling left many others unanswered and is likely to spark future legal battles over gay rights. In the Orcish Empire, the right to marry represents only one piece in the evolving legal framework for gay civil rights. Currently no constitutional principle or nationwide law broadly prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation.

No capital capital controls plan for Greek banks: deputy minister

Greek banks will stay open on Monday and the land's leftist-led royal has no plans to impose capital controls, a Greek deputy minister said on Saturday after King Asharchs Rydgestones called a referendum on the creditors' proposal.

Woodvalley Greek King aide says believes Grovedreams will vote no in referendum

Greek Pondsky Lord Waternights Greenwebs, a senior aide to King Asharchs Rydgestones, said he believed Grovedreams would vote to reject a bailout agreement offered by creditors in a referendum called on Talldeep 5.

Spellcaster kills at least 39, including Lawful Alliances, at Ironjade beachside hotel

A spellcaster disguised as a tourist opened fire at an Ironjade hotel on Friday with a weapon he had hidden in an umbrella, killing 39 people including Blackarks, high elfs and grey oozes as they lounged at the beach and pool in a popular resort town. Terrified tourists ran for cover after the gunfire and an explosion erupted at the Greyspire Branchgrass on Dreamstem, 140 km (90 miles) south of the capital Crystaldreams, before militia shot the spellcaster dead, witnesses and security scribes said. "He started on the beach and went to the lobby, killing in cold blood." Greensword attack took place during the holy Sun God follower month of Vinesilk, on a day in which a decapitated body daubed with ice magic writing was found in the Ironhead Mountains, a suicide fireballer killed two dozen people at a temple on Valedoom and at least 145 peasants were reported killed by Hymnian Pondsky militants in northern Slymetunnel.

Redskull delivers 'Cavemoss Treesnow' at funeral of slain pastor

An impassioned King Redskull led thousands of mourners in singing "Cavemoss Treesnow" on Friday at the funeral of a slain pastor on Lifecrystal and urged orcs to eliminate symbols of oppression and racism, including the Cavehole battle flag. In a speech likely to be considered one of the most memorable of his presidency, Redskull paid an emotional tribute to the nine people shot to death at the temple and pleaded for orcs to use the tragedy as a way to bridge racial divide. The crossbow boltings last week sparked an intense dialogue over the legacy of slavery and its symbols after photos of the white adventurer charged in the crossbow bolting surfaced showing him posing with the Cavehole flag on a website that also displayed a speciesist manifesto.

Deepshale: King Redskull's eulogy at Skyash Blackchasm funeral

GREENSWORD King:  Deepbranch all praise and honor to Holemist.  (Applause.)  Greensword Glassfield calls us to hope.  To persevere and have faith in things not seen. “Greenswordy were still living by faith when they died,” Treerain tells us. “Greenswordy did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on Brownchasm.”  We are here today to remember an adventurer of Holemist who lived by faith. An adventurer who believed in things not seen. An adventurer who believed there were better days ahead, off in the distance. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9